Can these nerds be more obsessed with their Dawg overlords?
At Georgia tech, you can do that!
November can’t get here soon enough for us to throw the Drought on the ash heap of college football history.
Little brother vibes – April Fools edition
Category Archives: Nerds, Nerds, Nerds!
Today, In Who Cares
Gunner came in seventh in the annual beauty contest.
While there may be some joy in finishing above Haynes King, there’s little else to take from this. Also, wasn’t Archduke Manning supposed to be winning this thing this year?
How do you feel? Does the Heisman mean anything anymore?
The weekend that was at Message Board Geniuses – Championship Weekend edition
Frankly, Championship Weekend wasn’t chaotic other than the impact of the World’s Smallest Outdoor Cocktail Party on the make-up of the final 12. Indiana, Miami and James Madison ended up as the big winners while one team that was at home not playing clearly ended up as the biggest loser. The message boards didn’t disappoint as a result.
Let’s start this week in Jerry World where the Cougar faithful still have a delusion they are playoff worthy after being smoked twice by Texas Tech.
BYU lost worse on Saturday afternoon than they did in Lubbock earlier in the season. -4 turnover margin and a total of 200 yards of total offense? They’re lucky the beatdown wasn’t worse. To then turn around and say you’re more deserving/qualified than Notre Dame and Miami just says you truly are a message board genius.
For the other side of the coin, Texas Tech has played no one. Yesterday was the most I’ve seen of them. They looked like TCU in 2022. I’m calling it now Oregon is going to manhandle them in Miami.
Let’s move on up to South Bend to check on the crybabies of Notre Dame.
I don’t know if Notre Dame should have gotten selected or not. Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive expressed my thoughts on this:
They lost the 2 games they played against teams that ended up in the playoff. They didn’t have a 13th “data point” this weekend to remove all doubt by winning a conference title. These geniuses predicted it:
Notre Dame flips off the rest of college football because they didn’t get an at-large spot they believe they are entitled to. They decide to give up the 15 bowl practices and end their season rather than finish the season.
I lost a bunch of respect Marcus Freeman earned from this Dawg fan from his defense at Cincinnati and his job last year in New Orleans. I can’t imagine Kirby pulling a stunt like this.
Let’s jump over to Indianapolis to check the temperature of the most obnoxious fans in sports, the Ohio State Buckeyes.
The Buckeyes get beaten by Indiana to break a 30 game winning streak, and the Buckeyes fall all the way to #2. That fan base has a love/hate relationship with the Just for Men spokescoach. I watched a little of the game last night and saw enough to know neither team scares me if we show up with bad intentions in a semifinal or in the final.
I’m sure this genius will talk about this Ohio State as the best team of all time if they happen to win it all.
Let’s finish this week’s trip in the ATL where the Dawgs vanquish Alabama in a situation that hasn’t been kind in the past.
F-bum is likely to be golden later today if geniuses like this call in. I saw so much Bammer bravado on X in the run-up to the game. Any Bammer who would rather lose to Auburn to fire a coach ain’t a Bama fan at all.
Another Bammer whiner is probably now talking about they are going to take Indiana out.
Maybe someone needs to tell this guy that Alabama has scored a total of 7 points in the last 6 quarters against the Georgia defense. I don’t think they want any part of a 3rd time around with us. If we saw them in Miami in the championship game, my prediction for the Bammers would be pain
Seeing the Bammers this broken makes this Dawg smile. Now we need to go to Tuscaloosa next year and drive a stake through the heart of the Bama program.
Let’s stop off to check in on the nerds of North Avenue after the Dawgs sucked the souls out of Alabama:
The Jacketasses can only live vicariously through the programs that are our equal. I hope we have 3 more chances to suck the life out of every one of Dr. Pimple Popper’s clients in West Midtown as we go on this playoff run.
Let’s take some lessons from the Cleveland Indians over the next month:
What did you see this weekend? Let us know in the comments.
The weekend that was at Message Board Geniuses – Rivalry Week edition
This feature took last week off because there was really nothing on the field to report, but this weekend got the message boards lit up. We’ll start today’s trip where we normally end it … to check in on the most obnoxious for no apparent reason fan base in sports. How is it going at the North Avenue Trade School after their 3rd moral victory in a row over the Dawgs?
This Booby Dudd like nerd’s response to the game on Friday was on a thread regarding whether they should keep playing Georgia. The copium being taken in west midtown Atlanta in the CFB landscape since the game is some of the most potent I’ve seen.
On the field, the defensive front took the Jacketasses behind the woodshed for 60 minutes. Other than the pass off the goal line after a blatant missed intentional grounding call that should have resulted in a safety, the vaunted Buster Faulkner/Haynes King offense was in a UFC choke hold for much of the game.
Here’s a different sports analogy for you from Brooks Austin:
If the offense had done anything of note, we could have witnessed a beatdown of epic proportions in MBS. Alas, that gives us something to worry about for Saturday as if Bama wasn’t enough.
Let’s move on to Austin to check in on the formerly undefeated Texas AgCult after their faceplant in Austin in the Lone Star Showdown (or whatever they call it).
Speaking of copium, a lot of that seems to have been smoked by this genius from Aggieland. Did this guy watch his team fall behind at home to South Carolina 30-3 a couple of weeks ago? The 12th Man played with fire multiple times during this season and got burned badly by their big brother on Friday night. Marcel Reed made the Archduke look like Peyton and Eli rolled up into one. Someone (cough, cough … Notre Dame … cough, cough) at the bottom of the first round bracket is probably drooling at the thought of going to Kyle Field.
Let’s move on to East Tennessee to check on the fan base that can’t say they run this state for the next year.
Powered by a 24-3 2nd half, Vanderbilt sends the Vol faithful to the exits to the tune of a 21 point whipping in Kneeland. That’s still not likely to be good enough to earn a playoff spot, but Clark Lea should be national coach of the year for doing something never done in the history of the traditional SEC Dore-mat football program.
All of this and they lost the turnover margin -2. Oh, my.
Enjoy your trip to Orlando, Commodores. On the other hand, let’s welcome Bobby Hill to the hottest seat in the SEC entering 2026, and enjoy your trip to Charlotte or Nashville in December.
Let’s end today’s trip in Oxford where a fan base should be looking forward to being a dangerous team in the CFP but, instead, is looking at a program holding on after being stung by a scorpion in the middle of the river (if you don’t get that reference, read my post from yesterday).
The first genius needs to calm down and step away from the ledge. The second genius doesn’t understand this decision likely wasn’t about money.
“No wrath like a fan base scorned.” I have no problem with Kiffin’s decision to leave even at this time. I have a big problem with his desire to do it on his terms and his apparent decision to go scorched earth on his way out as a result of not getting his way. His decision (likely with Jimmy Sexton’s blessing) to attempt to play the victim with his social media post announcing his departure should be insulting to the Rebel faithful who supported his NIL needs to build a transfer-laden roster. If Dooley had left for Auburn in 1980 during the season, I would have been apoplectic as a teenage fan.
I would love to see whether the Cane’s locations in Oxford see a drop in business as a result of all of this or if they try to do anything to buy off the Ole Miss athletic department.
What did you see this weekend? Let us know in the comments.
Old fashioned hate – Georgia tech preview
This afternoon the Dawgs face off against the enemy in downtown Atlanta in a game that will go a long way to determining Georgia’s playoff position. A win likely clinches the 5-seed and a home playoff game and keeps the Dawgs in the running for a first round bye whether we return to Atlanta next weekend or not. A loss makes the next 360+ days miserable regardless of the outcome of the season.
Let’s get to the preview.
When Georgia has the ball
The troubles of the Fech defense are well chronicled. They are giving up over 400 yards per game and are on the lower half of the ACC in every team defensive statistic.
In particular, the Georgia rushing offense against the Fech defense appears to be a big advantage for the Dawgs’ offense. I expect the Jacketasses to sell out against the run and try to force Gunner Stockton to make plays in the passing game where they are giving up 240+ yards per game plus a pass efficiency of 141.
I expect the Georgia offense to have a day later today.
When tech has the ball
There’s no getting around the fact that they have the best offense in the ACC statistically averaging over 485 yards per game and 35 points. Haynes King has been the straw that stirs the drink for their offense.
The Georgia defense in particular has been stout throughout the year against the run and has improved dramatically as the season has worn on against the pass. Staying in front of the chains for the defense is going to be important. That keeps the QB run in 3rd and manageable from being a large part of the game.
I really wish we had CJ Allen available at full strength for this one.
What will happen
I expect the Georgia offense in the absence of turnovers to control the game throughout. I expect tech to throw the kitchen sink at the Georgia offense to try to break serve.
The nerds have nothing to lose as they are heading to a meaningless bowl game rather than an ACC title game or to a CFP first round game.
Dawgs win, and I believe we cover.
Final score: Georgia 38, enemy 24
First look at Fech
Friday afternoon at Mercedes Benz Stadium, the Dawgs can take one step closer to throwing the Drought on the ash heap of college football history. The Dawgs look to continue their late-season momentum pointing to the College Football Playoff and possibly a chance to defend their SEC championship. Let’s get to the first look.
Series record
Georgia leads the series 72-41-5 and holds a 7-game winning streak dating back to 2017 (damn Covid for 2020).
Last meeting
In a rivalry game for the ages, the Dawgs come roaring back late to send the game to overtime before winning 44-42 in 8 overtime “periods.” The Dawgs fall behind 17-0 at halftime before clawing back in the 4th quarter thanks to a late fumble caused by Dirty Dan Jackson.
Nate Frazier wins the game on a two-point run up the middle that is a foreshadowing of Trevor Etienne’s winning overtime TD the following Saturday.
Gambling degenerate facts
The Dawgs are currently a 13.5 point favorite with a 59.5 point total. Georgia is a -750 favorite on the money line.
Interesting statistic: 6.05 (average yards per play defended)
For a team in the top 25, that statistic is wretched especially given their strength of schedule at 61. The Jacketasses have played with fire most of the season as their offense has found ways to bail them out throughout the season.
You could easily argue that the Georgia offense is the best offense they will face this season.
Early outlook
The matchup of the Georgia offense and the Georgia Tech defense is significantly tilted toward the Dawgs. Bobo and Stockton should be able to play dealer’s choice for much of the day exploiting the Fech defense, which has struggled to stop the run against the likes of Colorado, Wake Forest, Virginia Tech, NC State, Boston College and Pitt.
The big question is whether the Georgia defense gets a sufficient number of stops to create some space on the scoreboard forcing Faulkner to play from behind.
Assuming the Dawgs take care of the ball, I see the Dawgs winning and covering the spread. If not, this will be a 4 quarter fight.
The Dawgs are better at every position on the field and should be ready to give the in-state rival our best shot.
What’s your thought on Wednesday morning about Friday? Let us know in the comments.
Nice Season You Had There
It’d be a shame if anything happened to it.
A little further analysis:
Now watch them takes us to twelve overtimes this Friday, right?
If we were wise, we’d run the ball down their throat and keep King off the field. Or, just score at will (one of the worst defenses in P4) and play better than we did for three quarters last year and beat them soundly.
Either way, let’s just Wreck Tech.
The weekend that was at Message Board Geniuses – week 12 edition
This weekend saw one team virtually eliminated from the playoff race while a rival that team beat convincingly keeps its playoff hopes alive with a big victory on the road. The message boards were lighting up all over the place. Let’s start out today’s trip in Louisville to check on the temperature of the Greater Anderson Cow College fan base.
Clemson wins a game, and it pisses off a portion of the fan base. I’m guessing Dabo isn’t going anywhere unless he decides to do it. I don’t see Clemson joining the coaching carousel fray voluntarily at this point in this season unless major donors force their hand. Clemson lost the game everywhere except on the scoreboard (the one place that matters).
The Tyler from Spartanburg segment of the fan base clearly believes that championships are their birthright. They forget that Dabo brought them that success (and expectation) and that there used to be a thing called Clemsoning.
I don’t care what Clemson does, but I am here to watch the fallout.
Let‘s move on to College Station to see the smoking crater that is the South Carolina football program following the biggest choke job you’re going to see.
Clemson lost the first game in program history when scoring 45 or more points a couple of weeks ago at home against the University of New Jersey at Durham. South Carolina says, “Hold my beer, Tiggers” by breaking a 286 game SEC winning streak since 2004 when leading by 27+. Ouch.
I’m here for the chaos in the Palmetto State. The only thing South Carolina has to play for is to ruin the remainder of Clemson’s season in Columbia.
Let’s move on to Tuscaloosa to check on the Bammers after their most recent loss to Oklahoma.
Bammers can’t decide if DeBoer is the genius that holds the key to success against Georgia or if he’s a bumbling fool from the West Coast who doesn’t get it. The Sooners get a blocked field goal, a pick 6 and 2 more turnovers while only generating 212 yards of offense themselves. Bama still controls their own destiny to get to Atlanta with a win at Jordan-Hare in the Iron Bowl. F-bum is going to be glorious on Monday with the Bammer whining and the Georgia gloating.
Let’s move on to Oxford as the Rebel fan base wants closure on Kiffin’s decision one way or another.
The Handbags are officially “there’s no place like home for the holidays” after Saturday’s loss to Ole Miss in Oxford (snicker). The majority of Rebel fans want Lane to stay in Oxford, and Lane said he loves Ole Miss after the game.
I still don’t think he wants to leave to take a higher pressure job in an inferior location (Baton Rouge or Hogtown). The media and the airplane watchers are going to be watching what happens over the next week as Ole Miss starts its preparation for the Egg Bowl.
Let’s end today’s trip in the Classic City after the Dawgs flex their muscles against Texas again.
Why can’t we bottle what we show against Texas to use against another opponent (cough, cough … Alabama … cough, cough)? After the Dawgs bowed up to force a field goal on the game’s first possession, the defense really allowed nothing except when put on a short field after the 3rd quarter interception.
Gunner Stockton > Arch Manning. I don’t think there’s much more to say than that.
On any remaining debate of Kirby vs. Sark, I’ll let a good follow on Dawg X who commented frequently at GTP summarize it for you:
While we’re on the topic of the win in Athens, let’s look in on the nerds’ take on Saturday night.
Talk about not being a ball-knower in this situation. I guess when it takes a last second field goal to beat a (checks notes) 1-win Boston College team, all you can do is to take a shot at your rival. Black Friday is coming, nerds. You’re going to get our best shot since we’re not likely to be in the SEC championship game. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
What did you see this weekend? Let us know in the comments.
The weekend that was at MBG – week 10 edition
I admit I was going to go full Lewis Grizzard and do this in this space if the outcome yesterday had been different.
Thankfully, it wasn’t, and I have an opportunity to take us on a tour of the message board universe. We saw at least one team eliminated from CFP contention, a lot of pain inflicted on our main rivals and a program with a delusion.
Let’s start today’s trip in Baton Rouge to check in on the Corn Dogs’ coaching search.
If Nick Saban wanted to coach in the NIL and transfer portal era, he would have stayed in Tuscaloosa until he collapsed in his office. He looks very happy to be doing media, enjoying his ability to play golf, and living the high life after a successful coaching career.
Cajuns, Nick Saban isn’t coming back to save you from your governor’s decision to choose the next LSU football coach. He’s 74 (yes, a young 74). No way does he have the ability to look a recruit (and family) in the eye and say he’ll be a coach for 4 or 5 years at this point.
For all of those fan bases who believe Saban is coming back to save them, just stop.
Let’s move on to check in on Coach Amazon Prime in Boulder.
Colorado gets absolutely smashed in Boulder by Arizona. 5 turnovers and fewer than 300 yards of offense (3 turnovers of which led to extremely short fields for touchdowns) will get you run out of the stadium. The Wildcats led 38-7 at the half and played like Ralphie running over the Buffs.
I don’t know if Deion can be a successful head coach long-term. His formula isn’t working and probably isn’t going to work to make Colorado competitive. I wonder how happy Juju Lewis is in Boulder right now.
Let’s head to Dallas to see how the week 3 national champions are faring.
The Hurricanes are down bad after their 2nd loss to an unranked ACC opponent. Carson Beck throws 2 interceptions including a backbreaking pick on the goal line in overtime. Miami’s defense gives up 365 yards passing as Kevin Jennings takes care of the ball and engineers a 2:00 drive for the tying field goal aided by unnecessary roughness penalty.
Miami probably has to win out including the ACC championship game to be in the field of 12 at this point. Does Cristobal get blown out if that doesn’t happen? Coach Oeaux in Coral Gables would be a clash of cultures.
Let’s head to Greater Opelika to say “Thanks for the memories” to Hugh Freeze.
To those who believe #FireEverybody is the answer to your football program’s problems, Auburn should be the cautionary tale. Lather, rinse, repeat, War Tiglesmen. Your job is 3rd best of the conference’s open positions by a large margin. You have to convince someone that they can be successful being squeezed between 2 of the current giants of the sport while your past advantage (cough, cough … Auburn boosters … cough, cough) doesn’t matter any more. How quickly does Cam Coleman go into the portal with plans to play in Tuscaloosa?
I wondered if this was fake news. If not, this is pretty incredible. If Hugh was playing golf every Sunday in season, that’s a bad look, and I believe these guys should have a life.
Let’s move on to the Upstate of South Carolina for another update on the Greater Anderson Cow College.
Fun fact: Yesterday’s loss to Duke was the first time in 129 years of football that Clemson has lost when scoring more than 45 points. (134-1 now) Ouch. For the IPTAY crowd that loved Dabo for doing things the right way and looked down on the rest of college football, it sucks to be you now. Georgia broke Clemson in Charlotte on the night of September 4, 2021, and smashed them in Atlanta on August 31, 2024.
Can Clemson afford to fire Swinney or encourage him to find a new employer? Do they want to jump into a football coach hiring frenzy that already has LSU, Florida, Penn State and Auburn looking?
Sorry, Clive, but I’m guessing Dabo will be on the sidelines when Clemson goes to the Bayou in 2026.
Let’s move over to East Tennessee to check in on the fan base and team playing Halloween dress-up in a CFP elimination game.
Bobby Hill and the Vols likely save Brent Venables job with a loss on Rocky Top. Tennessee’s lines of scrimmage get dominated giving up 192 yards while gaining only 63 on the ground. Joey Aguilar’s 2 picks were both bad. One took points off the board for Tennessee, and the other enabled Oklahoma to steal 3 points right before the half.
Those 2 picks eventually led to the winning margin.
We’re going to take a short stop in Jacksonville to check on the geniuses of the UGA message boards.
This team keeps finding ways to melt down the fan base. This time it was a couple of explosive plays allowed by the defense while the offense sputtered for portions of the first 3 quarters. The first TD was the result of a poor punt leading to a short field and then a blown coverage. The field goal was the result of a turnover and then another blown coverage on a short field. The 3rd quarter was generally garbage.
I would love for this team to come out and blow people out. This team isn’t that right now, guys.
Sad, pathetic and soft aren’t words I would use to describe a team that has fought in every game for 4 quarters.
Let’s wrap up today’s trip on Tobacco Road to check in on America’s darlings, the Nerds of the North Avenue Trade School.
StinkTalk is probably saying how great they are because a 4-4 team rushed the field after beating them. Alas, since their board is blocked, we won’t know. I’m here for you to find other sources of amusement.
While no one cares enough about the other nerd boards to send any #MeltdownAlert posts to MBG, this post encapsulates their team. With Clemson’s implosion, they haven’t beaten anybody with a pulse and almost lost to Wake Forest who allowed FSU to break their ACC losing streak yesterday in Tallahassee by the score of 42-7.
NC State lost to Duke by 12, Virginia Tech by 2, Notre Dame by 29 and Pitt by 19. NC State’s offense then pistol-whipped the Jacketasses’ defense to the tune of 583 yards of total offense including 243 on the ground.
I’m sure Kirby is licking his chops over what much better athletes are going to do on a fast track in MBS against their defense.
That’s what I saw this weekend. Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
North Avenue Heartache
Awww. Look who is all about the feels nowadays.
As I tell people all the time in my vocation (analytics, kind of), you can represent gains in a few manners. On one hand, you can express a gain in raw numbers, like “the program increased from one four stars in 2021 to five four stars in 2024”. This can also be expressed as a percentage gain, like “the program has shown a 400% increase in four star recruiting since 2021”. One of those sounds better than the other.
My point being here, if this was an improvement from a strong baseline, color me impressed. Considering this was done after the Waffle House “swag” era, then this is an improvement from a dumpster fire. This is like bragging that you are the biggest earner in a kindergarten class when your grandparents gave you a twenty for your birthday, not that you crushed a Fortune 500 company’s sales record over a quarter season of earnings.
At Tech, you can do that. FTMFs.