The weekend that was at MBG – week 5 edition

Humility is always a week away, Jonny Boy.

As usual, the message boards did not disappoint in the usual locations including one that has been a frequent spot in the past. As the season continues, it’s clear there are a couple of places that have buyer’s (and seller’s) remorse on some recent decisions, and there are others where difficult decisions that are going to cost universities a lot of money are imminent. How quickly is the coaching carousel going to start turning? Let’s get going to see what’s happening.

We’ll start this week’s trip in the Windy City on Friday rather than Saturday as the Nittany Lions get their butts flat run over by Northwestern.

Northwestern runs for 413(!) yards against the once proud defensive stalwart Ped (sorry, Penn) State. 2 backs go over 160 yards, and the Wildcats average 7.5 yards per attempt. Joe Paterno is spinning in his grave, and all of the linebackers who once made Happy Valley LBU are probably ready to take Matt Campbell out for a little tackling practice. On the flip side, 48 yards rushing on 22 attempts is appalling for a program that made its reputation on physicality. When a coach leaves a place that has treated him right as Iowa State did with Campbell for years, I enjoy watching that coach fall flat on his face.

Moving on to Blacksburg where “Enter Sandman” couldn’t save the Hokies from a James Franklin face plant.

The Hokies blow a double digit lead at home to Pitt. They lose on a special teams mistake by missing what is not much more than a glorified extra point in a 36-yard field goal as time expired. -4 turnover margin, yikes. They were fortunate to have a chance to win with that kind of lopsided margin.

Let’s move on to the Land of 10,000 Lakes to check in on the Kyle Whittingham Experience at Michigan.

Michigan gets beaten by Minnesota, who got absolutely worn out at home by Mississippi State. Michigan has scored more than 20 points once this season … against UTEP. They generated all of 180 yards of total offense, and Barstool NIL QB Bryce Underwood looked awful again. But. The flip side Troy Bowles appears to be Michigan’s best defensive player, and he could make the 2-deep at linebacker at Georgia.

This graphic is a pretty good summary of Michigan football.

Karma is a bitch, Wolverines. There’s no doubt there should be a big asterisk by 2023.

Let’s head out west to check on the latest on the Men of Troy and the genius Lincoln Riley … yes, I understand they won.

USC comes back to beat Washington at home after falling behind by double digits. If that doesn’t happen, I’m betting Lincoln Riley may have been fired as early as Sunday morning. Life doesn’t get any easier for the Boy Wonder as as a home game against Jeremiah Smith and the Buckeyes and a November date at the defending national champion Hoosiers loom on the schedule. That’s without even mentioning the cross-town rivalry game with UCLA where Riley truly could be coaching for his job. Colin Cowpatty is hazzing a sad over this.

Let’s head back southeast to check on the state of college football in the Palmetto State … let’s just put it this way – it ain’t pretty.

With the “Enter Sandman” reference earlier in today’s feature, “Sandstorm” doesn’t save South Carolina from another blown double digit lead. Kentucky was left for dead after the 2nd half firebombing that Bama laid on them at Commonwealth Stadium (I can’t call it Kroger Field). It appears unlikely that Baby Beamer is going to last long enough for Kirby to drive the final nail in his career coffin in Columbia East. That job is a place where careers go to die. Is what South Carolina has become the result of pouring your NIL money into 2 players while neglecting the rest of the roster?

On the other hand, last night may have been Dabo’s last stand to maintain any credibility that he can turn things around at the Greater Anderson Cow College. I watched much of the first half, and it looked like Miami was just like a cat playing with a mouse before it finally decided it was time to go in for the kill. I wasn’t impressed with the Canes (I don’t get the money Miami spent on Mensah … he’s good, but he’s not this unstoppable force IMHO). Dabo is going to be given the opportunity to retire at Clemson on his own terms and be loved by their fan base. The game has truly passed him by at this point.

Let’s go back to Knoxville to check on the mental state of the Auburn Family post-loss to the Vols.

Auburn thought they were hiring their offensive genius in Golesh. What we’re finding out is that being successful at South Florida is a little different than the gauntlet that is the SEC. Byrum Brown looks terrible, and the Tigers’ defense got absolutely run over by Tennessee, who barely even tried to throw the ball. The fact they are saying that Drinkwitz wasn’t cool enough to be part of the Auburn family makes me laugh out loud.

Lather, rinse, repeat, Tiglesmen. We’re here for it.

That really was nothing but some context for our last stop of the weekend … Columbia, Missouri.

You knew this was eventually coming. The guy being claimed as the Gators’ savior is being dragged 5 weeks into his tenure as the Head Handbag. The Bloody Tuesday jokes write themselves after the way Missouri dominated Florida physically especially in the 2nd half. The 80-yard run they gave up to make it 45-10 was well blocked, and then the back just made the Gator secondary look awful. The “Won’t Back Down” serenade by the Missouri fans is just the chef’s kiss. I don’t know what that means for Halloween afternoon in Mercedes Benz Stadium, but I can imagine Kirby isn’t going to go easy on Jonny Boy.

A little bonus content from a genius at StinkTalk who has diagnosed their problem.

This is Nerd 101 kind of stuff. The next thing you know they’ll be hooking Key up to some biofeedback machine on the sideline to tell him when he needs to drink water. They are pathetic.

What did you see this weekend? Here’s to no UGA geniuses showing up in this space next Monday. GATA, Dawgs.

The weekend that was at MBG – week 4 edition

The day in a moment

The teams (except 1) at the top of the rankings flexed their collective muscles while others came crashing back down to reality. We saw the emergence of a future opponent we didn’t believe would be a challenge before the season. We saw another rival’s season officially go up in glorious flames.

Let’s start today on the banks of the Tennessee River where this week’s meteor game occurred.

Texas wins a game on the road where they don’t recover an onside kick, have a -2 turnover margin, and lose over 110 yards hidden yards in penalties including one of the most idiotic, tasteless celebration penalties you’ll ever see. The Longhorns generate 10 sacks and hold Tennessee to under 20 points.

Can we just stop the constant talk of how tough a place to play Kneeland Stadium is? The Tennessee faithful seem to be getting close to the end of their ropes with Heupel.

Let’s go up to the Big House to check in on the temperature of the Maize & Blue.

Talking about the Big 10 officiating screwing them is priceless. If they can’t beat Iowa at home, I don’t think Indiana, Oregon, UCLA(!) and Ohio State are too worried about Michigan especially on offense. You give up a kickoff return for a touchdown and take a likely sure 3 off the scoreboard by going for it on 4th and short. Regardless of what their record says, Michigan is 2-2.

Our next stop is the Kentucky Bourbon Trail to see how Louisville’s season seems to be imploding.

Yes, Cardinals, you aren’t a serious program. Karma is a bitch after your coach implies Georgia was scared to come play you. Wake Forest has become one of those programs that shouldn’t be competitive in this new world order of college football, yet they were competitive with Miami and has 2 Power 4 road wins.

Let’s swing into Hogtown to check on the Rebel Black Bear Land Sharks as they come crashing back to reality.

Florida runs (literally and figuratively) Ole Miss out of North Florida and drops half a hundred on them while doing it. 302 yards rushing, 60% 3rd down conversion and 2 players over 100 yards rushing each show us that Ole Miss is vulnerable on defense. Is Florida likely to be a tougher out on Halloween? Yes, but I also think we know the Faulkner offense now.

I give Pete Golding 2 years before he’s run out of Oxford.

Let’s drop into the Classic City in the aftermath of the Dawgs’ dismantling of the program that is destined to become the Nebraska of the SEC.

Stephen A. Smith was right this week when he told a former Sooner appearing with him … “You’re going to get your ass kicked.” That’s what happened on Saturday afternoon in Athens. The Dawgs play a C game on offense and beat Oklahoma by 28. If you had Ryan Puglisi taking snaps in this game on your preseason Bingo card, you may need to get to your closest casino.

John Mateer looked awful. Their offensive line was downright offensive especially in the run game where most of their 65 yards rushing came after the starting defense was on the sideline.

Chris Cole was everywhere. Talyn Taylor is becoming WR1 before our eyes. Special teams were spot on. This team continues to get better.

Jared Curtis is probably having nightmares already thinking about what awaits him Saturday afternoon.

Let’s head out west to check in on the Boy Wonder after his team shows their asses against Oregon.

Arrogant Nation gets smacked down by Oregon, and Dan Lanning lets west coast recruits know what the difference in the 2 programs is. America’s worst ChatGPT poet comes into the game after Dante Moore’s scary injury to lead the Ducks to the win. On the play in question, QBs should have to go to 1 knee to give themselves up. The hit wasn’t necessary and was about as vicious as it gets. The USC players’ celebration after the hit was as tasteless as Collin Simmons’s post-sack celebration earlier in the day.

That hit is what the targeting rule was meant to stop not some of the normal football plays where things happen when 2 large human beings collide.

Let’s come back east to drop into Tuscaloosa as things slowly come apart for the Gamecocks.

Dylan Stewart makes an ass of himself. Shane Beamer’s time at South Carolina is going to come to an end. South Carolina ran for 216 yards on Alabama but scored just 18 points. Bama has found their QB in Russell. The Cocks had a chance to jump on Bama early and missed a field goal due a penalty. The next drive they try on the dumbest version of a QB sneak on 4th down. Then the floodgates opened.

I believe the Dawgs are getting ready to go to Tuscaloosa and make a statement in 2 weeks.

Let’s move on to the Bayou where another former Big 12 SEC member’s season is officially on the brink staring into the abyss.

Texas A&M, you ain’t hiring Nick Saban. If Texas couldn’t convince him to leave Bama, you aren’t going to convince him to come out of a retirement that he seems to love. You need a quarterback more than anything. Marcel Reed is worse than John Mateer. At least, Mateer can make an accurate throw when given time.

I could have posted another submission making fun of Elko’s body shape, but that has gotten old.

Little brother is in trouble.

Let’s end this week’s trip as the Nerds of North Avenue fear the Tree in Palo Alto and StinkTalk didn’t disappoint. The end of the Drought draws nearer.

Ken Whisenhunt is the nerds’ Obi-Wan Kenobi. 12 penalties, -2 turnover margin, and 4th and 45 tell me they aren’t the geniuses on the field we’re supposed to believe they are.

The Jacketasses may not be a point spread favorite again this season (at home against Boston College may be the exception).

Pain is coming in Sanford in November, and I can’t wait to see us make them quit.

The only problem with that is that StinkTalk won’t be open for lurking. #firstworldproblems

What caught your eye this week? Let us know in the comments.

Message Board Geniuses: Atlanta regional nerd copium edition

I’m just going to leave this here.

You blew leads when you needed to win 1 game and then go on a rant about UGA. They obsess over us even when we’re not part of the game.

That walk off home run reminded me of this:

It’s just like when the swallows return to San Juan Capistrano … Fech fans go back to their “champions of life” copium. You would think with all their millionaires they could find a few to fund their athletic and NIL programs. Maybe that’ll happen when cricket and Quidditch become full college sports.

Meanwhile on the baseball forum at StinkTalk, the geniuses need their snowflake safe place:

My only reaction:

Today, In Who Cares

Gunner came in seventh in the annual beauty contest.

While there may be some joy in finishing above Haynes King, there’s little else to take from this. Also, wasn’t Archduke Manning supposed to be winning this thing this year?

How do you feel? Does the Heisman mean anything anymore?

The weekend that was at Message Board Geniuses – Championship Weekend edition

Frankly, Championship Weekend wasn’t chaotic other than the impact of the World’s Smallest Outdoor Cocktail Party on the make-up of the final 12. Indiana, Miami and James Madison ended up as the big winners while one team that was at home not playing clearly ended up as the biggest loser. The message boards didn’t disappoint as a result.

Let’s start this week in Jerry World where the Cougar faithful still have a delusion they are playoff worthy after being smoked twice by Texas Tech.

BYU lost worse on Saturday afternoon than they did in Lubbock earlier in the season. -4 turnover margin and a total of 200 yards of total offense? They’re lucky the beatdown wasn’t worse. To then turn around and say you’re more deserving/qualified than Notre Dame and Miami just says you truly are a message board genius.

For the other side of the coin, Texas Tech has played no one. Yesterday was the most I’ve seen of them. They looked like TCU in 2022. I’m calling it now Oregon is going to manhandle them in Miami.

Let’s move on up to South Bend to check on the crybabies of Notre Dame.

I don’t know if Notre Dame should have gotten selected or not. Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive expressed my thoughts on this:

They lost the 2 games they played against teams that ended up in the playoff. They didn’t have a 13th “data point” this weekend to remove all doubt by winning a conference title. These geniuses predicted it:

Notre Dame flips off the rest of college football because they didn’t get an at-large spot they believe they are entitled to. They decide to give up the 15 bowl practices and end their season rather than finish the season.

I lost a bunch of respect Marcus Freeman earned from this Dawg fan from his defense at Cincinnati and his job last year in New Orleans. I can’t imagine Kirby pulling a stunt like this.

Let’s jump over to Indianapolis to check the temperature of the most obnoxious fans in sports, the Ohio State Buckeyes.

The Buckeyes get beaten by Indiana to break a 30 game winning streak, and the Buckeyes fall all the way to #2. That fan base has a love/hate relationship with the Just for Men spokescoach. I watched a little of the game last night and saw enough to know neither team scares me if we show up with bad intentions in a semifinal or in the final.

I’m sure this genius will talk about this Ohio State as the best team of all time if they happen to win it all.

Let’s finish this week’s trip in the ATL where the Dawgs vanquish Alabama in a situation that hasn’t been kind in the past.

F-bum is likely to be golden later today if geniuses like this call in. I saw so much Bammer bravado on X in the run-up to the game. Any Bammer who would rather lose to Auburn to fire a coach ain’t a Bama fan at all.

Another Bammer whiner is probably now talking about they are going to take Indiana out.

Maybe someone needs to tell this guy that Alabama has scored a total of 7 points in the last 6 quarters against the Georgia defense. I don’t think they want any part of a 3rd time around with us. If we saw them in Miami in the championship game, my prediction for the Bammers would be pain

Seeing the Bammers this broken makes this Dawg smile. Now we need to go to Tuscaloosa next year and drive a stake through the heart of the Bama program.

Let’s stop off to check in on the nerds of North Avenue after the Dawgs sucked the souls out of Alabama:

The Jacketasses can only live vicariously through the programs that are our equal. I hope we have 3 more chances to suck the life out of every one of Dr. Pimple Popper’s clients in West Midtown as we go on this playoff run.

Let’s take some lessons from the Cleveland Indians over the next month:

What did you see this weekend? Let us know in the comments.

The weekend that was at Message Board Geniuses – Rivalry Week edition

This feature took last week off because there was really nothing on the field to report, but this weekend got the message boards lit up. We’ll start today’s trip where we normally end it … to check in on the most obnoxious for no apparent reason fan base in sports. How is it going at the North Avenue Trade School after their 3rd moral victory in a row over the Dawgs?

This Booby Dudd like nerd’s response to the game on Friday was on a thread regarding whether they should keep playing Georgia. The copium being taken in west midtown Atlanta in the CFB landscape since the game is some of the most potent I’ve seen.

On the field, the defensive front took the Jacketasses behind the woodshed for 60 minutes. Other than the pass off the goal line after a blatant missed intentional grounding call that should have resulted in a safety, the vaunted Buster Faulkner/Haynes King offense was in a UFC choke hold for much of the game.

Here’s a different sports analogy for you from Brooks Austin:

If the offense had done anything of note, we could have witnessed a beatdown of epic proportions in MBS. Alas, that gives us something to worry about for Saturday as if Bama wasn’t enough.

Let’s move on to Austin to check in on the formerly undefeated Texas AgCult after their faceplant in Austin in the Lone Star Showdown (or whatever they call it).

Speaking of copium, a lot of that seems to have been smoked by this genius from Aggieland. Did this guy watch his team fall behind at home to South Carolina 30-3 a couple of weeks ago? The 12th Man played with fire multiple times during this season and got burned badly by their big brother on Friday night. Marcel Reed made the Archduke look like Peyton and Eli rolled up into one. Someone (cough, cough … Notre Dame … cough, cough) at the bottom of the first round bracket is probably drooling at the thought of going to Kyle Field.

Let’s move on to East Tennessee to check on the fan base that can’t say they run this state for the next year.

Powered by a 24-3 2nd half, Vanderbilt sends the Vol faithful to the exits to the tune of a 21 point whipping in Kneeland. That’s still not likely to be good enough to earn a playoff spot, but Clark Lea should be national coach of the year for doing something never done in the history of the traditional SEC Dore-mat football program.

All of this and they lost the turnover margin -2. Oh, my.

Enjoy your trip to Orlando, Commodores. On the other hand, let’s welcome Bobby Hill to the hottest seat in the SEC entering 2026, and enjoy your trip to Charlotte or Nashville in December.

Let’s end today’s trip in Oxford where a fan base should be looking forward to being a dangerous team in the CFP but, instead, is looking at a program holding on after being stung by a scorpion in the middle of the river (if you don’t get that reference, read my post from yesterday).

The first genius needs to calm down and step away from the ledge. The second genius doesn’t understand this decision likely wasn’t about money.

“No wrath like a fan base scorned.” I have no problem with Kiffin’s decision to leave even at this time. I have a big problem with his desire to do it on his terms and his apparent decision to go scorched earth on his way out as a result of not getting his way. His decision (likely with Jimmy Sexton’s blessing) to attempt to play the victim with his social media post announcing his departure should be insulting to the Rebel faithful who supported his NIL needs to build a transfer-laden roster. If Dooley had left for Auburn in 1980 during the season, I would have been apoplectic as a teenage fan.

I would love to see whether the Cane’s locations in Oxford see a drop in business as a result of all of this or if they try to do anything to buy off the Ole Miss athletic department.

What did you see this weekend? Let us know in the comments.

Old fashioned hate – Georgia tech preview

This afternoon the Dawgs face off against the enemy in downtown Atlanta in a game that will go a long way to determining Georgia’s playoff position. A win likely clinches the 5-seed and a home playoff game and keeps the Dawgs in the running for a first round bye whether we return to Atlanta next weekend or not. A loss makes the next 360+ days miserable regardless of the outcome of the season.

Let’s get to the preview.

When Georgia has the ball

The troubles of the Fech defense are well chronicled. They are giving up over 400 yards per game and are on the lower half of the ACC in every team defensive statistic.

In particular, the Georgia rushing offense against the Fech defense appears to be a big advantage for the Dawgs’ offense. I expect the Jacketasses to sell out against the run and try to force Gunner Stockton to make plays in the passing game where they are giving up 240+ yards per game plus a pass efficiency of 141.

I expect the Georgia offense to have a day later today.

When tech has the ball

There’s no getting around the fact that they have the best offense in the ACC statistically averaging over 485 yards per game and 35 points. Haynes King has been the straw that stirs the drink for their offense.

The Georgia defense in particular has been stout throughout the year against the run and has improved dramatically as the season has worn on against the pass. Staying in front of the chains for the defense is going to be important. That keeps the QB run in 3rd and manageable from being a large part of the game.

I really wish we had CJ Allen available at full strength for this one.

What will happen

I expect the Georgia offense in the absence of turnovers to control the game throughout. I expect tech to throw the kitchen sink at the Georgia offense to try to break serve.

The nerds have nothing to lose as they are heading to a meaningless bowl game rather than an ACC title game or to a CFP first round game.

Dawgs win, and I believe we cover.

Final score: Georgia 38, enemy 24

First look at Fech

Friday afternoon at Mercedes Benz Stadium, the Dawgs can take one step closer to throwing the Drought on the ash heap of college football history. The Dawgs look to continue their late-season momentum pointing to the College Football Playoff and possibly a chance to defend their SEC championship. Let’s get to the first look.

Series record

Georgia leads the series 72-41-5 and holds a 7-game winning streak dating back to 2017 (damn Covid for 2020).

Last meeting

In a rivalry game for the ages, the Dawgs come roaring back late to send the game to overtime before winning 44-42 in 8 overtime “periods.” The Dawgs fall behind 17-0 at halftime before clawing back in the 4th quarter thanks to a late fumble caused by Dirty Dan Jackson.

Nate Frazier wins the game on a two-point run up the middle that is a foreshadowing of Trevor Etienne’s winning overtime TD the following Saturday.

Gambling degenerate facts

The Dawgs are currently a 13.5 point favorite with a 59.5 point total. Georgia is a -750 favorite on the money line.

Interesting statistic: 6.05 (average yards per play defended)

For a team in the top 25, that statistic is wretched especially given their strength of schedule at 61. The Jacketasses have played with fire most of the season as their offense has found ways to bail them out throughout the season.

You could easily argue that the Georgia offense is the best offense they will face this season.

Early outlook

The matchup of the Georgia offense and the Georgia Tech defense is significantly tilted toward the Dawgs. Bobo and Stockton should be able to play dealer’s choice for much of the day exploiting the Fech defense, which has struggled to stop the run against the likes of Colorado, Wake Forest, Virginia Tech, NC State, Boston College and Pitt.

The big question is whether the Georgia defense gets a sufficient number of stops to create some space on the scoreboard forcing Faulkner to play from behind.

Assuming the Dawgs take care of the ball, I see the Dawgs winning and covering the spread. If not, this will be a 4 quarter fight.

The Dawgs are better at every position on the field and should be ready to give the in-state rival our best shot.

What’s your thought on Wednesday morning about Friday? Let us know in the comments.