Let all the Bulldog faithful rally behind the men who now wear the red and black with two words, two simple words which express the sentiments of the entire Bulldog Nation: Auburn Sucks.
— Message Board Geniuses (@BoardGeniuses) June 2, 2026
You blew leads when you needed to win 1 game and then go on a rant about UGA. They obsess over us even when we’re not part of the game.
That walk off home run reminded me of this:
It’s just like when the swallows return to San Juan Capistrano … Fech fans go back to their “champions of life” copium. You would think with all their millionaires they could find a few to fund their athletic and NIL programs. Maybe that’ll happen when cricket and Quidditch become full college sports.
Meanwhile on the baseball forum at StinkTalk, the geniuses need their snowflake safe place:
This feature took last week off because there was really nothing on the field to report, but this weekend got the message boards lit up. We’ll start today’s trip where we normally end it … to check in on the most obnoxious for no apparent reason fan base in sports. How is it going at the North Avenue Trade School after their 3rd moral victory in a row over the Dawgs?
This Booby Dudd like nerd’s response to the game on Friday was on a thread regarding whether they should keep playing Georgia. The copium being taken in west midtown Atlanta in the CFB landscape since the game is some of the most potent I’ve seen.
On the field, the defensive front took the Jacketasses behind the woodshed for 60 minutes. Other than the pass off the goal line after a blatant missed intentional grounding call that should have resulted in a safety, the vaunted Buster Faulkner/Haynes King offense was in a UFC choke hold for much of the game.
Here’s a different sports analogy for you from Brooks Austin:
If the offense had done anything of note, we could have witnessed a beatdown of epic proportions in MBS. Alas, that gives us something to worry about for Saturday as if Bama wasn’t enough.
Let’s move on to Austin to check in on the formerly undefeated Texas AgCult after their faceplant in Austin in the Lone Star Showdown (or whatever they call it).
Speaking of copium, a lot of that seems to have been smoked by this genius from Aggieland. Did this guy watch his team fall behind at home to South Carolina 30-3 a couple of weeks ago? The 12th Man played with fire multiple times during this season and got burned badly by their big brother on Friday night. Marcel Reed made the Archduke look like Peyton and Eli rolled up into one. Someone (cough, cough … Notre Dame … cough, cough) at the bottom of the first round bracket is probably drooling at the thought of going to Kyle Field.
Let’s move on to East Tennessee to check on the fan base that can’t say they run this state for the next year.
Powered by a 24-3 2nd half, Vanderbilt sends the Vol faithful to the exits to the tune of a 21 point whipping in Kneeland. That’s still not likely to be good enough to earn a playoff spot, but Clark Lea should be national coach of the year for doing something never done in the history of the traditional SEC Dore-mat football program.
All of this and they lost the turnover margin -2. Oh, my.
Enjoy your trip to Orlando, Commodores. On the other hand, let’s welcome Bobby Hill to the hottest seat in the SEC entering 2026, and enjoy your trip to Charlotte or Nashville in December.
Let’s end today’s trip in Oxford where a fan base should be looking forward to being a dangerous team in the CFP but, instead, is looking at a program holding on after being stung by a scorpion in the middle of the river (if you don’t get that reference, read my post from yesterday).
The first genius needs to calm down and step away from the ledge. The second genius doesn’t understand this decision likely wasn’t about money.
“No wrath like a fan base scorned.” I have no problem with Kiffin’s decision to leave even at this time. I have a big problem with his desire to do it on his terms and his apparent decision to go scorched earth on his way out as a result of not getting his way. His decision (likely with Jimmy Sexton’s blessing) to attempt to play the victim with his social media post announcing his departure should be insulting to the Rebel faithful who supported his NIL needs to build a transfer-laden roster. If Dooley had left for Auburn in 1980 during the season, I would have been apoplectic as a teenage fan.
I would love to see whether the Cane’s locations in Oxford see a drop in business as a result of all of this or if they try to do anything to buy off the Ole Miss athletic department.
What did you see this weekend? Let us know in the comments.
Once again, I cannot take credit for this lovely bit of prose. If “impromptu tickle pile” is now part of your COFH vocabulary, this thinly-veiled venomous screed is the reason why. Last year, Derek and SlobberKnocker figured it was originally posted by SaxonDawg on the old Anti-Orange page, and FlyingPeakDawg wisely suggested that this be an annual thing, this ode to the “Hymn of the Bee”.
We Refugees are nothing if not traditionalists when it comes to Hate.
“Four Notes on a Trumpet”
You wake up in the top bunk, snug within your Star Trek bedsheets, with that feeling in the pit of your stomach. That pounding feeling, that giddy, nauseous rush that can mean only one thing. You rush to the potty and take care of business. The feeling goes away. But something about tinkling–the colors, the sounds–makes you remember: Yellow Jacket football today! You put on your best yellow sweater and yellow knee-socks, though you call them “gold,” natch. Then, moving to the dresser, you specially polish your thick glasses, adding one final flourish–fresh tape wrapped around the bridge. Speaking of bridges, your braces are also polished to a fine sheen, new zits are popped, and you’re lookin’ GOOD! You’re lookin’ JACKET. Heart pounding, you race up the steps from your parents’ basement. Mumsy and Pops are reading mail from the old home country in New Jersey where they hope to retire someday. You slip out the door quietly and pedal your 3-speed through the crisp autumn air, gameday flags a-flying from the handlebars. And there it is, just ahead–the MARTA station. It won’t be long now! You climb onto a southbound train, your eyes scan the car, and–yes! There, sitting next to the chatty tranvestite–a man wearing YELLOW! You make your way over and wave your pom poms at him and giggle, and he says, “$#%^ off, %$$^&!” And now you feel it more strongly than ever–the essence of being a Tech fan. You giggle again more shrilly, dance away, then slide around safely under the seats until the stop at North Avenue, tee-heeing for all you’re worth as you elude the grasp of your tormentor and his switchblade. It’s sort of like Frodo hiding from the Black Riders, right here on MARTA! You disembark at North Avenue, snatching quarters from a few homeless men, and take a deep breath of downtown Atlanta air–Tech air! Now you see swarms of other Jackets–two of them, three of them. It’s no wonder the stadium had to be expanded. You pause on the bridge over the Downtown Connector to indulge in a Tech tradition: spitting on cars passing underneath. It’s a massive traffic jam of red vehicles heading north, and you nail an RV with a big loogie from your morning Yoo Hoo Soda. Tee hee! Saliva, the GT calling card! Then you’re on campus, a block from the stadium. You take in the grand pageantry that is game day. It’s the gray, smoggy sky; the deep blue of the police siren; the giggling of the frat boys enjoying an impromptu tickle pile on the sidewalk. It’s the sound of gunfire. It’s the beautiful women with their thick makeup, standing on the street corners and bantering with the passing cars. It’s the voice of Kim King, talking and talking and talking in his one-note melodic range; Wes Durham screaming about a one-yard gain. It’s the giant rubber bee, George O’Leary’s old bedroom toy, patched all over, making funny farting sounds as the air oozes out yet again. It’s Flag Boy, the aspiration of all Tech males. Tee hee! Above all, it’s four notes on a trumpet. You hear them now, playing the hallowed music, the sacred music, the Hymn of the Bee. There it is now, and you lift your voice to join in, warm tears fogging your thick glasses. The whole stadium sings solemnly: “When you say Bud…” Those four notes on a trumpet, your call to Jackethood, setting your yellow heart aflutter. Deep down you know this is the year–the year you beat Duke AGAIN–you OWN Duke. The year you road-trip to a BRAND SPANKIN’-NEW STARTUP BOWL for the holidays. The year your first pubic hairs break the surface. This sacred moment cannot last. Someday, by the Great Pointed Ears of Leonard Nimoy, you will be in New Jersey. In Michigan. In North Dakota. Someday you will buy your parents a house with a bigger basemment for you to live in. But in your heart, you’ll always be a Tech Guy–a proud drop in the endless river of yellow!
Comedian Nate Bergatze may be the hot comedian of the moment (his portrayal of George Washington’s Dream on SNL being one of the rare funny skits in recent living memory), but he’s feeling froggy and going on the ‘crootin trail for 5-star QBs for his favorite team, Vanderbilt.
Now that Vandy is the hot new thang in college football, their newly-famous funny man made a pass or two this past GameDay for our 5-star QB commit Jared Curtis of Nashville Christian.
Kirby’s reaction? He’s “not going to get into gimmicks and stuff”.
*The last link is to a Facebook post on Jeff Foxworthy’s page, so if you can’t access it, Jeff tells the story of being a lifetime Bulldawg pursuing a degree at Georgia Tech and getting in fights over his Bulldog fandom in the Tech student section. Funny stuff.
Comment below with your Foxworthy-ish take on redneck jokes. I’ll go first:
“If you quit watching the Oscars because “Revenge of the Nerds” got snubbed for a Best Picture nomination, youuuuuuuuuu might be a Jacket.”
9 in a row. As someone who lived through the 90s, this pays us back for 1992 and 1995.
We’ll be coming back to Ob-Knoxville, Tennessee at some point in this week’s travels around the message board universe. Let’s get started in Houston to check in on Coach Amazon Prime and the Buffs.
For all that Prime was a player (and he was one of the greatest DBs to play the game), physical was never a trait to describe him. Giving up over 430 yards while only gaining 300 with a -2 turnover margin gets you beat and often run out of the stadium.
Colorado gets slapped around by Houston. What is it about former Texas 8&4 QBs that they go to a lesser program and thrive? The Cougars are 3-0, and Connor Weigman accounts for 305 yards of total offense and 2 TDs against Colorado.
The genius who posted that title needs some remedial lessons in subject-verb agreement. Let’s move on to the one location hotter than the surface of the sun … Columbia, South Carolina … to check in on the mental state of delusional Lamecock Nation.
Don’t look now, but the Commodores have gone to Lane Stadium and the Dead Cockroach and put belt to backside to start 3-0. Vandy wallops South Carolina 31-7 to bring the South Carolina faithful back to earth to start planning for a meaningless bowl trip rather than the CFP. Sure, LaNorris Sellers got knocked out of the game, but the Dores are proving to be a tough out. To the Gamecocks, you typically aren’t going to beat a team with a pulse with a -3 turnover margin.
If this is a 1 week blip due to injury, this one may hurt in December, Cocks. Let’s jump on I-20 to check in on Tyler from Spartanburg and the Tiggers at historic Richt-Smart Field at Vince Dooley Stadium.
I don’t think since starting this series we’ve had to check in on a fan base 3 weeks in a row, but the Greater Anderson Cow College is a gift that keeps on giving. All the college football pundits that had Clemson in the top 5 have egg on their face at this point. The Tigers aren’t good this year, and the upstate IPTAY wolves are now out. Turnovers matter.
Now, for the nerds, storming the field after beating a team for their 2nd loss in 3 games and was behind Troy 16-0 during their only win is classic “At Georgia tech, you can do that” moment. I don’t want you losers to keep winning, but the positive if you do is that we’ll be totally focused on beating you senseless at Thanksgiving.
Let’s go check in to see how the leprechauns are taking the realization that their CFP expectations are going up in smoke with a home loss to Texas 8&4.
2 losses with no chance to win a conference with 1 or 2 losable games still on the schedule puts the Irish’s season officially on the brink. Marcus Freeman’s calling card is defense, and Marcel Reed splattered that defense to almost 400 yards of total offense while only generating a 77 overall QBR.
Irish fans are not entertained … but I am.
Let’s head down to Death Valley and the bayou to check in on the Handbags on the latest stop on the Sun Belt Billy farewell tour.
Watching Handbags who thought college football begin in 1990 crawl under their rocks is a beautiful sight for these eyes. DJ Lagway does his best Quincy Carter impression by throwing 5(!) picks in a game that Florida lost by 10. Once again, all the college football talking heads who raved about Lagway as the guy who was going to put the Gators at their rightful place at the top of the college football universe need to find a crow au vin recipe … cough, cough … Aaron Murray … cough, cough … Josh Pate … cough, cough … Joel Klatt … cough, cough … Chris Doering … cough, cough.
Now the Gators face a QB who hasn’t lost to them on a team that blew them out of the Swamp last year. Good luck in South Florida, Billy.
Let’s end today on the banks of Tennessee River where there are no goalposts floating on this morning.
Well, well, well, Tooth Nation. You pulled defeat from the jaws of victory.
Everything went your way, and you still couldn’t get it done. Face it. Kirby owns your asses between his time at Bama and now at Georgia. He is your Steve Spurrier without the shooting off at the mouth.
Kneeland is officially Sanford North.
Enjoy the likely 2 year break from playing us because we’re coming for double digits the next time in Sanford.
Before I end this week’s trip, I have to call out one of our geniuses.
GodTurley3 and any genius who thumbs upped the post on the Vent, you suck.
This team never gave up. Gunner Stockton had his David Greene moment dropping a dime on 4th down to London Humphreys. The defense was battered throughout the game but came up with a huge stop in the overtime. Finally, if Bo Hughley isn’t starting next Saturday, I wouldn’t blame him if he decided to enter the portal.
I’m sure most of you have heard about the importance coaches place on “winning the middle 8” minutes of games. The likelihood a team wins the game increases if they can outscore the opponent in the last 4 minutes of the first half and the first 4 minutes of the second.
What does this have to do with our Fabris Pool, you ask?*
To wit:
Your humble commish went O-fer the 3:30 slots, smack dab in the all-important middle of the Week 3 slate, stumbling out of the nooners to boot. Kirby would be most disappointed.
On (another) personal note, UGA frosh Dawgliciousette #2, took advantage of the away game to visit the Flats to hate-watch Tech and Clemson for her old man. First texts we exchanged while she was at the game:
I have raised her well, to be observant of her surroundings, and she left at halftime. Proud dad!
On to the results!
etdawgfan nails the tiebreak total to edge out Bulldawginsc for Week 3 honorsTiledawg92 vaults into first place for the overall season thus far
Moving on to Week 4 and the off week. First chance to knock out those fall honey-dos, y’all. **
Very interesting….the ACC regular season champ didn’t even get to host a regional. But the kings of hypothetical matchups unfortunately had to play actual games. https://t.co/3NicynoZvi
To be fair, there were a host of conference teams to get bounced from their regionals, including top seeds Texas and Vanderbilt. Tennessee also lost, so the cicadas known as Vowels fans have officially made all the noise they can and have died for the season. Not really, because they never shut up, so you know they’ll be chirping about Bobby Hill and the impending awesomeness that is the approaching football season.
The SEC got a record 13 teams into the NCAA Tournament field.
Seven have already been eliminated, including three hosts 😬
— Baseball America (@BaseballAmerica) June 2, 2025
In other news, Oklahoma did come back and beat ACC tourney champ UNC who will be on the verge of elimination on Monday, and Georgia Tech lost to Ole Miss, ending the Yellow Jackoff’s season. The Yech fans felt like they got hosed when it was announced they weren’t hosting a regional while Ole Miss did.
— Georgia Tech Football (@GeorgiaTechFB) May 27, 2025
Yes, that’s the actual Georgia Tech Football Twitter. Yes, as best as I can tell, this is not a joke. Celebrating a 7-6 season is some heavy lifting, but creating a ring that contains some strange elements to it is another…let’s start with something:
Tech went 5-1 at home, not 5-0. Editor’s note: The loss was at MBS, but hey, they protected the Flats against pesky GSU and VMI, so I’ll give them credit for that.
They actually celebrated a win over what would eventually be a 2-10 FSU team. And have memorialized it for eternity.
The Georgia Tech letters in the end zone are in the wrong relationship to the image.
Top it off that you left off the results of the Birmingham Bowl, where you lost to Vandy.
