Tag Archives: #ftmfs

Another Way to Drive The Ratings Down: Chris and Kirk

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I don’t think we were the only ones who grew overly ill listening to Chris Fowler and Kirk Herbstreit’s three hour fellating of Nick Saban and the glorious Alabama Crimson Tide. Apparently, it was so bad, it made the news!

Chris Fowler and Kirk Herbstreit, pictured here preparing to fawn over a B1G team or Alabama, along with Kirk’s trusty emotional support dog, known as Saban’s Phallus.

ā€˜You Guys Have Become Unwatchableā€™ ā€” CFB Fans Grill Kirk Herbstreit, Chris Fowler for Being ā€˜Terribly Biasedā€™ During Georgia-Alabama Matchup

Kirk Herbstreit and Chris Fowler had a heavyweight SEC matchup to call Saturday night. Some viewers spent the evening wishing they could change the announcers without changing the game.

The broadcast duo caught criticism after Georgia’s trip to Alabama, with fans accusing them of favoritism. Even one viewer who normally considers them the best in the business wanted a little self-reflection before their next assignment.

Kirk Herbstreit and Chris Fowler Draw Harsh Reviews

The Georgia Bulldogs beat the Alabama Crimson Tide 20ā€“17 at Bryant-Denny Stadium, taking the lead on Peyton Woodring’s 23-yard field goal with 5:25 remaining. Georgia improved to 6ā€“0 with the victory.

Anoverturned Alabama interception with the game tied at 17 became a major talking point. Fans also took issue with the voices guiding them through a tense night.

“You guys have become unwatchable. It’s embarrassing,”one fan wrote.

There are several other examples out there of even uninvested fans from other programs pointing it out. Will they get called out on it? Will they change?

Of course not! Kirk’s had an axe to grind ever since he threw an interception to Mike Jones in 1993 Citrus Bowl, and he hasn’t been shy about it, even going so far to flip Dylan Raiola (actually, thanks for that, Herbie) from Georgia during the former Buford star’s recruitment.

I agree with most of you from yesterday’s Mumme Poll, that the default color commentary options for the game is the mute button, especially whenever I see Herbstreit doing anything during a football broadcast.

The Ballad of Curtis Low

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Well, well, well. Reports are saying that Jared Curtis has miraculously recovered from his severe bout of wussiness he had last week, preventing him from playing against Georgia.

Heā€™s behind us now, but I wanted to offer up a song in tribute to Jared, set to the tune of a classic ballad, which can be found here:

Here goes a JP original, enjoy:

Well I used to wake the morning, before the agent calls,

Searching for social follows, make myself some dough,

Come down to Nashville, come be the Admiralā€™s ho,

Cash it in, make myself money, Iā€™m a man named Curtis Low!

Ole Jared was a bag man, with wild, lively arm

When he had a big old bag, he didnā€™t have a care

Used to be an ole Bulldawg, but heā€™d be whooped in Kirbyā€™s knee

If you give ole Jared money, heā€™ll play on a shitty team

Play me a snap, Curtis Low, Curtis Low!

I got your NIL money, tune up your excuses.

People say youā€™re a wussy, but people are all right

Cause Curtis Low was the scaredest player, to never play the Dawgs.

Thank you, thank you. Iā€™ll be here all week.

It’s Always Sunny in Knoxville

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Shot:

Chaser:

So Tennessee has benched their wunderkind quarterback Faizon Brandon (or is it Faton Bauta?) for a guy named George, they struggled against Auburn, lost to Texas, and they’re wondering who should win Saturday night (or Sunday afternoon?) as they prep for the SECCG.

You can’t spell Volunteer without overlent, which is giving away more money than one possesses. You don’t have house money, and you factually don’t have any dog in the fight at all.

Sit this one out, Vols. You’ll lose to Alabama, regardless.

And what I wouldn’t give to actually face Tennessee in a year where they were supposed to get a pass from the annual misery of losing to Georgia.

I Should Call Her

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Here’s a quick reminder: drinking and calling people never equates to anything good.

As far as theories go, it’s as good as any to help explain why the guy everyone had as a Heisman lock last week only gained 13 yards…in the entire game. I don’t think it has anything to do with the caller’s theory, because as far as that goes, there’s plenty of them running around on the team wearing helmets. And one who is their head coach who likes to say a lot of tough guy things until they get their ass handed to them, then it’s all about “we’ve got problems”.

It’s a long season. Instead of Bloody Tuesday, maybe Sumrall should take the team out to Ruby Tuesdays to relax, have some fun, and meet some womerns.

You might have to drive up to the Ruby Tuesdays in Savannah, though.

Imitation is the Highest Form of FTMFs

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Shot:

Chaser:

Wonder where Sumrall got that from?

Well, before we all go talking smack at Florida, seems it was a term coined long ago at Florida by none other than the Corch himself:

So now the Gators are claiming proprietary rights over the term and starting to talk trash in earnest, all the while forgetting that Bloody Tuesdays on the Florida campus havenā€™t happened in nearly two decades, let alone many bloody Saturdays, either.

Also, I donā€™t think the term Bloody Tuesdays is explicitly novel to Meyer, either. From doing a little digging (mainly because many Twits of Twix were arguing that Erk coined the phrase, which he didnā€™t, but AI will tell you anything) sounds like most programs have their first full contact practices on Tuesdays.

Sundays are generally film study and walkthroughs, Mondays are an NCAA mandated no practice day (or vice versa but apparently there is a required day of no practice), so Tuesday is the first ā€œget back at itā€ day and sets the tone for the week. Sounds pretty important, but not just to Kirby and Sumrall.

Still, suffice it to say the rivalry has warmed again, in case it ever felt like it was cooling to anyone out there.

Everyoneā€™s Scoring in Athens

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Iā€™m not sure weā€™ve properly appreciated this. Four weeks into the season, and your Georgia Bulldogs are the only CFB team to score on a fumble recovery, and interception, and a special teams return.

The broadcast threw up a graphic that showed we had scored some insane amount in the first quarter all season, and I told my buddy what a disappointment we only eeked out a touchdown when weā€™d been averaging closer to 28 points in the first quarter.

Fire Bobo.

I keed I keed. But thereā€™s something different about this teamā€¦four covered spreads, scoring like itā€™s going out of style, and playing tremendous defense so far this season. Maybe thereā€™s a reason:

Kirbyā€™s on the mother. Thank God, because meanwhile in Gainesville:

The bad news: Florida seems to be good again.

Good news: Faulkner isnā€™t likely to be there long. I hear they may need a new coach in South Carolina, and Iā€™d imagine Buster can name his price.

Heā€™ll, they might need a new on at Texas A&M, too. Buster will be a head coach soon enough.

Keeping It Classy In Austin

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In case you missed it, the ā€œReal UTIā€ was defined over the weekend, with Texass prevailing over Tennessee. If you couldā€™ve told me there was a program that could outclass the Vols, Iā€™d say bullshit.

But, man, the Longhorns really stepped up their game, Iā€™ll give them that.

Screenshot

Colin Simmons, hereā€™s your roses.

But waitā€¦thereā€™s more!

Gotta hand it to you, Shorthorns. You joined the league and have had an immediate impact to somehow wash away the general douchiness of Tennessee and Florida fanbases, albeit you canā€™t actually win the conference.

Your September 23rd Reminder that Auburns Sucks

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Iā€™m just going to leave this here:

Not sure if thatā€™s more of an indictment on Auburn or if itā€™s speaking to the Jorts Wearing Optimists in Hogtownā€™s false positives about Florida being back.

Rooting very very hard for Trinidad and Company to tamper down the Gators this weekend.

Tell Me Again Not to Complain About the Entertainment

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Good God almighty, what has ESPN done?

Alabama vs South Carolina could be one of the premier games of the 2026 SEC season, as could Florida at Missouri…and your evening entertainment for the SEC on October 3rd is a toss up between Arkansas and TAMU or LSU vs McNeese State?

I’d rather have MSU and Bama at 3:30 and a nightcap of Florida at Missouri. Frankly, they could not televise the LSU game and I don’t know if anyone outside of Louisiana would miss it.

It’s 2026, and I still DGAF about Arkansas or A&M. What is this?