Handbags talking about another school’s home conference record is rich.
Is this the game where the resistible force meets the movable object?
Handbags vs the Barn? How many meth heads can assemble in one place?
Refugees, feel free to let both schools know they suck.
The geniuses are back. Rather than talking about their bathroom habits or what they would do to get so-and-so player and coach, they are showing their ball-knowing to the world. Week 1 this year wasn’t likely to be to be a gold mine of genius, but we got enough on our trip to get some good laughs.
Let’s start today’s trip at Smart-Richt Field at Vince Dooley Stadium as the Jacketasses’ season collapses on the season’s first real night of games.
No one cares enough about Fech football to send genius posts from StinkTalk, but I’m here for you. 2 years ago the denizens of StinkTalk thought Brent Key was the reincarnation of Booby Dudd and Booby Ross, and he was going to get Kirby Smart fired at Georgia. Today, he’s another likely failure of a head coach on North Avenue.
To get physically manhandled by Coach Amazon Prime’s Buffaloes to the tune of 183 to 51 yards rushing should embarrass Mr. Tough Guy. Let’s follow the defensive statistics of Colorado throughout the year. That should tell us something when Thanksgiving weekend rolls around. Pain.
Let’s head a little downtown to Mercedes Benz Stadium to check on the geniuses of the Greater Opelika Cow College.
If that performance did anything for male enhancement in east Alabama, Auburn is in for a long season. Auburn wins because Dave Aranda goes for the win in regulation rather than playing for overtime. Auburn’s defense made DJ Lagway look serviceable, and Byrum Brown threw 3 picks. This Baylor team is far from the best team Auburn will face this year, so it’s not going to be pretty by the time the Iron Bowl rolls around.
On the other sideline …
Dave Aranda has run out of time in Waco without a dramatic turnaround. I give him credit for going for the win with the 2 point play, but the right play probably was to play for overtime. The guy is a defensive genius, but I don’t think he’s cut out to be the leader of the program … sort of like Will Muschamp.
This may be a good way to look at those 2 QBs:
Let’s move west to Tulsa to check in on Oklahoma’s little brother.
I don’t care about Oklahoma State football at all, but that post less than a year after “I’m a man! I’m 40!” got fired in Stillwater makes me laugh. Getting punked by double digits by Group of 5 Tulsa is not going to make the Big 12 look good to the committee. No matter what people say, the Big 12 is at best a 1 bid league given its make-up is more like a G6 league than a P4. I’m guessing the Pokes are happy that Bedlam isn’t going to be played this year, but, OTOH, on Saturday in Stillwater, they host …
Let’s head out west to check on the Handbags of the Northwest, Oregon.
Here’s the extent of ball-knowing in Eugene. The Ducks escape 34-27 over Boise, who isn’t close to the best teams Oregon will play this year. The team statistics look like Oregon should have smashed Boise like a top 5 team should do to solid G6 program, yet they needed a late touchdown to get the win. Nike is going to make sure Dante Moore gets a ton of hype for his Heismanesque performance against the Broncos.
If the pollsters do their job this weekend, I would expect that the Dawgs move past Oregon to #2 in the rankings released on Tuesday.
Let’s move on to Ann Arbor to check in on what appears to be the next scandal involving Michigan football.
Any Michigan fan who stormed the field on Saturday night after beating Western Michigan should be embarrassed. The way it happened should be an embarrassment to the B1G and its officials. That rationalization is never used at any other point in a game. A similar play would have never been reviewed for that particular issue.
Tim Brando gets something right for a change.
Also, it seems the MAC wants to keep those sweet Big 10 checks flowing:
Something stinks about this whole thing.
Let’s move on to the Bayou to check on the fleeting pulse of the Greater Anderson Cow College football program.
The Upstate South Carolina faithful seem to have had enough. Dabo Swinney is 121-46 without Deshaun Watson and Trevor Lawrence. Entering Death Valley on Saturday night, Clemson is 47-20 since Lawrence took his hair and talents to Northeast Florida. I don’t think many people expected Clemson to win in Baton Rouge. I know people didn’t expect Clemson football program to spontaneously combust on Saturday night either.
The benefit of the remaining schedule is that Clemson plays all of 1 currently ranked opponent.
This is cold:
Not really true but funny nonetheless.
Let’s move on to Music City to see the pucker factor for Ole Miss rise to meteoric levels.
If you gave up 38 to Louisville and needed a punt snapped over the head of the punter to provide one of the TDs, keep rationalizing, Rebels. The Kiffin Kancer is coming, and I imagine he is planning to lay waste to Oxford given they gave up almost 500 yards and a number of explosive plays.
While this week’s game in Austin is the meteor game of the century for me, the Magnolia Bowl is setting up to be a meteor game as well. Both fan bases are being insufferable for different reasons.
We’re going to finish our trip last night under the sort-of lights of Doak Campbell.
I didn’t stay up to watch the full game. The message boards geniuses want Norvell out yesterday. I’m sure every one of them will be happy to contribute their 401k’s to his massive buyout to make it happen. The power outage is symptomatic of the problems FSU is having right now. They have a chance to make a statement on national TV, and they have this happen. They have been a joke at QB since Jordan Travis’s injury. They have been awful on the offensive line since Dumbo was there.
Kirby broke them in Miami. Danny Kanell still isn’t over it … he had us #12 in weekend rankings.
That’s what I saw this weekend. I can’t wait to see which 2 fan bases in this coming weekend’s meteor games meltdown.
Shot:
Chaser:
And additional chaser:
What’s a good sign that Alabama is slipping? When their fanbase is obsessed with the organization of picture day.
The days of Saban are gone. Kirby, Lane, Pete, Curt…all gone. You’ve got DeBoer, and you’ve got nothing, apparently.
At least the coaching staff is wearing the traditional A with the elephant. I appreciate the throwback.
I appreciate the hand-wringing over the order of picture day more.
FTMFs.
Alex Golesh, playing fifth dimensional chinese checkers with the Auburn fall camp.
No meth, no sisters…nothin’. Dang, he’s taking all the fun out of Auburn football.
All that to end up going 7-5, per ESPN’s FPI and this lovely Facebook post graphic.
As always, Auburn sucks.
Only in Auburn.
Unless you’re willing to rush it off the beach and bury it in the sand, the correct answer is no distance.
Friendly reminder that as you complete your family vacation to the beach, make sure there are no Auburn fans around.
Also, your daily reminder that Auburn sucks, even at going to the beach.
Auburn sucks, and its seems people are actually beginning to notice.
What’s gotta make it worse is how painfully close the Tigers have come to not being winless against Alabama and Georgia in that same time frame.
As far as the series against Georgia is concerned, I’m forever grateful for the great Gus Malzahahahan for this gem:
Yeah, that phrase “all glory is fleeting”…seems like it flew away long ago and chose to never return.
What a shame. *snickers*
Shot:
Chaser:
Question: Why even complain and send public statements when you can just claim he was the Coach of the Year anyway and put it on a banner? Why does it matter the decisions that are made for accolades when you can just claim bias and favoritism and claim the award, anyway?
At Auburn, you can do that.
Check the crowd pop on this one:
I would’ve paid good money to see this as COSM in Atlanta, provided they had this view of the game from the venue.
Go Dawgs…meanwhile, here’s the matchups for the CWS:
Yes, that’s right…All-SEC on one side of the bracket. Hmm. What would it look like with a reseeded bracket:
#1 Georgia vs. #8 Troy
#2 UNC vs. #7 Oklahoma
#3 Texas vs. #6 Ole Miss
#4 Alabama vs. # 7 West Virginia
Then it would just be an All-SEC CWS, would it not?
Just imagine…also imagine if the Supers were reseeded…some different outcomes could’ve occurred:
1 Georgia vs. 16 Little Rock
2 Auburn vs. 15 Cal Poly
3 UNC vs 14 Troy
4 Texas vs. 13 St. John’s
5 Alabama vs. 12 Oklahoma
6 Oregon vs. 11 USC
7 Mississippi State vs. 10 Ole Miss
8 Kansas vs. 9 West Virginia
Well…guess what…you still would’ve only had five SEC teams in the CWS brackets…and Auburn would’ve been one of them…plus you would’ve had a B1G team in it, too.
Nah, maybe I like it just the way it is.
First, from east Alabama, here’s some great insight into the mind of your fellow Barners.
I’ll answer his question for him: he’s about to become somehow smarter than before he experiments with Ketamine. At least, that’s what would happen with the average Auburn fan.
Another, from our friends up north, where the ravages of common core math seems to still be afflicting our Volunteer friends.
They wouldn’t be able to get the NIL fund they’re imagining, but they would have a fun day at Dollywood.
Bless their little brains hearts.
Hoo boy. This is rich, coming from the land of make believe championships and Scam Newton.
Saying “not getting punished for cheating like every other athletic program” when you’re a Barner is doing some heavy lifting.
Remind me again why Terry Bowden didn’t win a real, live National Championship…and how Gene Chizik did? It’s interesting, isn’t it?
At Auburn you can do that. Actually, you can apparently do anything you want.