Category Archives: Message Boards Are for Geniuses

The weekend that was at MBG – week 8 edition

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As we all spent this weekend on the golf course, at fall festivals, or hanging out with family, the world of college football kept on moving. As a result, the message boards were lighting up from sea to shining sea. After this weekend, I believe it’s safe to say the championship chase is wide open.

Let’s start today’s trip in Cincinnati where the Bearcats pull down Texas Tech’s pants.

Cincinnati rushed for over 250 yards including a 58- yard TD that put the game on ice. Texas Tech commits 13 penalties and turns the ball over 3 times. For those Georgia high school recruits who are taking Cody Campbell’s money, I guess playing for giving up playing for championships and living in Athens to live in Lubbock and cash a little bit bigger check is worth it.

Cody Campbell is not amused.

In the responses, Cincinnati fans are letting him know … the troll of the season so far.

Let’s head to the Greater Opelika to check in on the Auburn roadkill after LSU goes in and pastes them.

How did we lose to this bunch? The way LSU just swatted the Greater Opelika Cow College was what we should have done to them. The haymakers the Corn Dogs threw in the 2nd quarter knocked Auburn out cold. Auburn had 67 yards on 35 rushing attempts. If that isn’t an indictment of how poorly our defense played last week, nothing else is.

Kiffin has 2 weeks to get ready for next job audition in Baton Rouge when Alabama comes calling.

Let’s move on to Ann Arbor to look in on possibly the worst offense for a team that is supposed to have a pulse.

Michigan has a national championship caliber defense, but they have now lost 4 games if you include the Western Michigan gift from the Big 10 replay center. That offense is putrid, but yet, they outgained the defending national champions. 57 yards rushing on 42 attempts is awful. They held Indiana to 11 first downs.

You had your chance, Wolverines, to end any chance the Hoosiers had to defend their title and you didn’t get it done. I’m guessing Kalen DeBoer is going to be getting a call from people in Ann Arbor pretty soon.

Let’s head to Tuscaloosa after Kalen DeBoer staves off the brick for another week. Unfortunately, Mike Elko seems to be another week closer to a buyout.

One fan base was going to melt down completely in Tuscaloosa on Saturday afternoon. If you’ve been keeping up with Marcel Reed’s QBR, this week it was a scintillating 23.9 with a pick 6 and he put the ball on the ground 3 times losing it once. I have no idea if the Aggies have another QB they trust at this point in the season. Reed’s rating for the season is 42.6 putting him at 100th in ESPN’s rankings.

At least this week, Elko didn’t have a 4th down brain fart that took points off the board, but then again, Texas A&M didn’t have a single first down in the last quarter when they needed a comeback.

Oof.

Let’s drop in on Columbia East to see how the Vols come out of their win over Alabama.

The clock struck midnight for the president of the local Kiwanis Club as George MacIntyre goes 16-23 for 159 yards against the Poultry. I wonder if Mike Matthews lies awake at night in Knoxville imagining what it would be like to play for a team that can win a championship. Tennessee ran the ball 50 times for a very inefficient 184 yards. Still, Tennessee controlled the game until they didn’t as shown by this win probability chart.

At 4:30 to go in the game and up 7 with the ball, Tennessee had a 96% chance of winning. Then Josh Heupel goes for it on 4th and 1 on the South Carolina 38 and doesn’t get it. I don’t care what the analytics say there (probably to go for it) … kick the ball, take advantage of field position, and make LaNorris Sellers drive the length of the field to tie the game.

Just stupid.

Let’s head to the land of the Mouse for an update on the leader of the Group of 6 conference masquerading as a Power 4.

The BYU bros on X are obnoxious, so seeing their dream of an undefeated season go crashing down at UCF of all places was a pleasure. Their obsession about all things SEC makes you think they’ve had doors slammed in their faces across the Bible Belt while on mission. If you don’t get the reference, here it is:

Humility is a week away, Cougars.

The Holy War is on the horizon. Here’s to Utah driving a stake through BYU’s playoff hopes.

Speaking of contract buyouts, Dan Lanning’s star has possibly flamed out after a loss to Bert and Illinois.

For a defensive-minded head coach to allow Illinois to convert 50% on 3rd down is awful. Oregon should never lose by double digits to a program like the Illini. Guess what? The final margin of victory came through the middle 8 where Illinois outscored Oregon 14-3 including a 75 yard touchdown run late in the 2nd quarter and 70-yard TD drive to start the 3rd. Sound familiar?

Let’s head to Austin to check on the Rebels after they come back just to fall short.

For all of the Archduke love during the game (I muted the idiots), here’s the stat line for that Heismanesque performance:

If not for the Texas defense’s lockdown of Trinidad Chambliss in the 1st half, Texas doesn’t win Saturday night. They were really the MVP of the game instead of the constant showing of the Archduke. Boom did a hell of a good job without Colin Simmons to control much of the game.

Let’s head to Madison as Jump Around could be the last straw for the Boy Wonder.

I did call this one in the ND game day post.

-17 yards rushing … that’s a long way away from USC student body right. USC scored fewer points against Wisconsin than Western Illinois and Eastern Michigan.

I have a feeling Lincoln Riley’s time in Los Angeles is about to come to an end. Ari Wasserman, Colin Cowherd and others have a sad as a result.

Sorry for your loss, TrojansRok.

Let’s finish today’s trip on the Flats where the Jalopy gets a flat on homecoming and StinkTalk is not pleased.

Lose by 22 on Homecoming? At Georgia Tech you can do that!

399-101 … for tough guy Brent (or now known on StinkTalk as the clown), that’s going to leave a mark. As for COFH, the game is destined for the SEC Network at this point as the Jacketasses’ season becomes a dumpster fire (that’s insulting to dumpster fires). You could easily argue the trade school won’t be a point spread favorite the remainder of the season.

All of this and I decided not to include Clemson this week. That should tell you something about the Tigers.

What did you see this weekend that made you laugh? Let us know in the comments below.

The weekend that was at MBG – week 7

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Dawgs beat the Dawgs.

Well, that time has come. I’m not going to duck this week’s post just because we lost and frankly looked like hot garbage while doing it. Multiple teams including Georgia looked like their games from the previous week took something out of them. It looks like one coach is standing at the standing at the precipice of what could be an unbelievable fall.

Let’s get it out of the way and start today’s trip in the Classic City.

I’m sure these 2 geniuses were crowing about going 16-0 and winning the whole damn thing last Saturday night after Tuscaloosa. No excuses. Auburn played physical on both sides of the ball … that surprised me. Byrum Brown never had the backbreaking turnover, but Gunner did … that surprised me. The terrible penalties? That surprised me.

To people who want to place the blame completely on Gunner (yes, he gets some of the blame … see above), he wasn’t on the field when the only play that seemed to work for Auburn was the QB run. The undisciplined penalties weren’t by the offense.

I admit I start every game with the defense because that’s Kirby’s side of the ball and where our talent has been stacked. The defense was spotted a 14-0 lead even with Puglisi having a forced involvement in the first drive. The effort after that until the 4th quarter was awful, period.

Kirby was right during his press conference. All of this team’s goals sit in front of them IF, IF, IF they play disciplined, complementary football. There could be multiple losses on the horizon if they don’t. Any big overarching conclusion about the direction of the program and especially of Kirby’s stewardship of the program over 1 loss should be ridiculed.

Let’s move on to the banks of the Tennessee River as Georgia beats Alabama for the 2nd week in a row.

All week we were told that Bama was going to take out all of their frustration from last Saturday on Tennessee. Instead, they got their asses beat in Knoxville. -2 turnover margin, less than 4 yards per play, 24:00 of time of possession. They gave up 20 first downs and 350 yards to an offense led by a quarterback whose name sounds more like the chairman of the board of your local Kiwanis Club rather than an SEC quarterback.

I wonder if the windows of Kalen DeBoer’s office have brick-resistant glass in them. The Auburn team we played yesterday (Will it be?) will whip Alabama in T-town.

Let’s go out to DKR where Sark is looking into the abyss after losing at home to the Handbags who looked like garbage the last 2 weeks.

Even in a win, the North Florida trailer park trash doesn’t get a pass.

Damn, the meteor didn’t hit again. The Texas faithful have to be fit to be tied at this point. They have lost 2 games in a row to mediocre to OK programs. Texas was 2-10 on 3rd down. Florida had 38 minutes of possession. The Longhorns blow a 1st half 2 TD lead to a team that was absolutely lit up and left for dead the last 2 weeks.

Hey, Handbags, when I bookmarked this, I was hoping you would completely melt down on Saturday. I don’t know if Sumrall is another Sun Belt Billy or the next coming of the Corch. What I do know is that you are going to have our full and complete attention in 2 weeks’ time. That hasn’t typically gone well for you over the last 10 years.

Let’s move on to lovely hamlet of Oxford to check on the ultimate SEC interloper, Missouri.

That running game that ran all over Florida and Texas A&M the last couple of weeks went for 39 yards on 26 carries, and Ole Miss gashed the Tigers for almost 500 yards and 31 points. Is that the Ole Miss defense we’ll see the rest of the season or did they put it together for one day in Oxford?

Missouri fans who call Drinkwitz a “beta” deserve to have him leave and take his abilities elsewhere. I wouldn’t at all be surprised to see an ACC school make a run at him this offseason.

Let’s move out west to check in on the ultimate media darling after they lose their first game against a real opponent.

If Notre Dame loses to Miami in South Bend in 3 weeks, will the committee penalize them for their joke of a schedule come rankings time? Certainly, if they lose to both currently ranked opponents remaining on their schedule, there’s no way they can be in top 12 to get their special treatment that no one else gets.

Can the sport’s powers that be quit treating Notre Dame like it’s 1976 instead of 2026? Of course, now we’re going to devalue winning a conference in the expanded playoff, so any motivation the Domers would have joining a conference for football is now gone.

We’re going to finish our trip in what has become a mainstay on our trips over the last few years … Clemson, South Carolina … and it has nothing to do with what happened in their win over Charleston Southern.

Yes, you would expect a Civil War reference to come from the state of South Carolina. To this genius, the problem the Tigers have has nothing to do with programs from the north raiding for talent. It’s that Dabo hasn’t found an NFL top of the draft type of quarterback since Trevor Lawrence left. No one has ever really thought Swinney is this great Xs & Os kind of coach. I don’t even think he’s this great CEO within the program itself. He got people to open their checkbooks and cheered on lil old Clemson to the IPTAY crowd. Everyone knows he got a few players and took advantage of the Almost Competitive Conference while Miami and FSU were down.

What did you see this weekend? Let us know in the comments.

The weekend that was at MBG – week 6 edition

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You just lost to John Mateer.

Saturday was glorious. I hope the pollsters find some reason to continue to disrespect us and move Notre Dame to #1. Anyway, on a day like this the message boards once again didn’t disappoint and our geniuses didn’t show up even when it felt the game may be slipping away.

Let’s start today’s trip in Louisville on Friday night for Mike Norvell’s throwing away all of his goodwill from the week before away with 1 play call.

On the road up 14 and instead of going up by 3 scores, Norvell decides to go for it on the 2 yard line and then calls a play where the ball gets thrown behind the line of scrimmage. I don’t know if a field goal there changes the eventual outcome, but it allowed the floodgates to open on the next play from scrimmage when Louisville has a 97 yard run to cut the lead in half. If you’re going to go for it there, either line up and run or make sure you throw the ball into the end zone.

Norvell is a dead man walking at this point. The question is whether they can raise the money to buy out his contract plus his assistants.

Ouch.

Let’s move on to Hogtown where it hasn’t taken long for the Handbags’ season to start free fallin’.

-3 turnover margin gets you beat most Saturdays, and, most of the time, that team gets run out of the building. Giving up 10 of 16 3rd downs is not a good look for a Handbag defense that has multiple loseable games on the schedule left on the schedule. I wonder what the ticket market for the Cocktail Party on the Gator side of MBS is like right now as they get ready to head to Austin for a date with Texas who deep down knows their faceplant in Hogtown last fall was the reason they weren’t in the CFP.

Jonny Boy is finding out really quickly how fickle Handbags are. At this point, the Florida-FSU game may end up on the ACC Network+.

Let’s head to CoMo to check on the mental state of Drink’s latest beatdown victim … Texas 8&4.

That first post is truly genius worthy, or maybe a T-sip posing as an Aggie pulls a great troll.

Could the Missouri game in November end up as the biggest home game of the year? After the last 2 weeks, that appears likely now. Texas A&M is officially on tilt after their defense gets shredded for 252 rushing yards.

On the other side, this stat line is horrible.

Yikes.

At 3-3, it could get ugly for Elko because the Aggie oilmen are more than happy to pay another buyout.

Speaking of little brothers, let’s look in on the Greater Opelika Cow College’s preparation for the DSOR (Dawgs, be loud on Saturday … no letdown).

Auburn fans are as bad as Tech nerds over their never-ending obsession with all things Bama. I’m not going to watch the Sa(t)an documentary for many reasons, but seeing a Barner call any program a bunch of cheaters is rich.

Let’s head to the west coast where the preseason national champions’ season is going up in smoke.

7 turnovers. 20:00 of time of possession. 73 yards rushing. 1 for 12 on 3rd down. Damn, just damn, Dan.

If Kirby decided he has had enough, Lanning would no longer be on my list of coaches I would want to pursue. He has every advantage a first time head coach would want, yet he finds ways to lose games where his team is more talented.

Let’s head to Dallas to check on the status of “Texas is back!” after Sark and Arch fail yet again.

To the genius that fires a stray at Kirby, I’m sure Kirby is worried about your opinion. Texas gets exposed by Oklahoma’s defense, and the Archduke is officially out of the Heisman race after throwing 2 backbreaking picks in the 4th quarter. Steve Sarkisian has to be looking at the fine print in his contract after this one. Oklahoma was dreadful on offense again, but Mateer makes 2 throws that make all the difference in crunch time.

That “best team money can buy” strategy appears to be exploding in Texass’s face. Speaking of programs overspending on NIL …

Let’s head back to horse/bourbon country to check in with the Corn Dogs after losing to Kentucky.

I know a lot of LSU fans aren’t that smart, but that genius doesn’t understand the basics of what $19 million really means. A quick Google search mentioned the following: A waterfront mansion in Ft. Lauderdale, a super-yacht, or a portfolio that generates $760k a year (conservatively without touching the principal).

On to the game itself, Kentucky goes for the win in the first overtime for the 2nd week in a row and lives to tell about it. If this keeps up Will Stein may be in line for SEC CotY. There isn’t a game left on the schedule that Kentucky can’t win starting on Saturday night in Norman where they open as a 6.5 point underdog.

On the other side, LSU is fortunate the game went to overtime after 2 turnovers in their own territory both resulted in no points. The Cajuns adored Kiffin in December and are now turning on him in October. They still have upcoming games against Texas and Alabama which I’m sure Disney will put at night in Death Valley.

This will hurt:

Let’s move on to our last spot of the night … west Alabama where the Dawgs win with a flair for the dramatic.

There’s been plenty of cloud storage used over the 36 hours about the officiating and the embarrassment of Fowler and Herbstreit. Dawg in Austin’s observations post from yesterday is a tour de force in analysis if you haven’t yet read it.

My take on Saturday night is that this was a win for the culture and values of the program as created by Kirby Smart. I have said for 10 years now that Kirby took the Process of Saban and put a human face on it.

Connection – Even when Sacovie muffed the punt (thank goodness for Blake Stewart), Kirby and some players made it clear that they were behind him. He made a clear fair catch of the next one.

Composure – It would have been easy for the team to lose their composure as Alabama turned the game in the 2nd quarter, but clearly the team did not leave the field for halftime discouraged.

Resilience – The first drive of the 2nd half was resilience in action. That was coming off the mat and pulling up the defense after the late 2nd quarter drive.

Physicality – The drive chart of the 2nd half was a beauty to behold: 8 plays, 75 yards, 4:22 (TD); 11 plays, 69 yards, 6:20 (Missed FG); 10 plays, 84 yards, 5:19 (FG); and 8 plays, 40 yards, 3:10 (End of game).

G.A.T.A.

What did you see this weekend that made you laugh out loud? Let us know in the comments.

A Message Board Genius is Still Smarter Than Coach Amazon Prime

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This is the thing of legends. Sounds almost like something Mike Leach would’ve done, except Mike would’ve done it strategically, not stupidly.

Meanwhile, in business decisions, I’m guessing that JuJu Lewis is regretting not sitting on the bench in Athens and learning from Gunner Stockton and Mike Bobo the past two seasons.

Social media had some posts on it with this image, and what sounded like an obituary to JuJu’s Colorado career.

As word would have it, JuJu has chosen not to play anymore for Coach Prime or the Buffaloes, but will still collect his $1.8 million check to watch the Buffaloes continue to implode.

I’m not sure if he’d transfer to Georgia or not, but if he does, it ain’t gonna be for close to two million dollars, I can tell you that. He might comes as a Jaden Rashada type to take a year off and repair his value, but he won’t be starting in Athens and I don’t think Kirby would waste the money.

After all, you’d expect someone to come in fully developed after being in college for two years, but Prime isn’t exactly a developer for anyone who doesn’t have Sanders in their name.

The weekend that was at MBG – week 5 edition

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Humility is always a week away, Jonny Boy.

As usual, the message boards did not disappoint in the usual locations including one that has been a frequent spot in the past. As the season continues, it’s clear there are a couple of places that have buyer’s (and seller’s) remorse on some recent decisions, and there are others where difficult decisions that are going to cost universities a lot of money are imminent. How quickly is the coaching carousel going to start turning? Let’s get going to see what’s happening.

We’ll start this week’s trip in the Windy City on Friday rather than Saturday as the Nittany Lions get their butts flat run over by Northwestern.

Northwestern runs for 413(!) yards against the once proud defensive stalwart Ped (sorry, Penn) State. 2 backs go over 160 yards, and the Wildcats average 7.5 yards per attempt. Joe Paterno is spinning in his grave, and all of the linebackers who once made Happy Valley LBU are probably ready to take Matt Campbell out for a little tackling practice. On the flip side, 48 yards rushing on 22 attempts is appalling for a program that made its reputation on physicality. When a coach leaves a place that has treated him right as Iowa State did with Campbell for years, I enjoy watching that coach fall flat on his face.

Moving on to Blacksburg where “Enter Sandman” couldn’t save the Hokies from a James Franklin face plant.

The Hokies blow a double digit lead at home to Pitt. They lose on a special teams mistake by missing what is not much more than a glorified extra point in a 36-yard field goal as time expired. -4 turnover margin, yikes. They were fortunate to have a chance to win with that kind of lopsided margin.

Let’s move on to the Land of 10,000 Lakes to check in on the Kyle Whittingham Experience at Michigan.

Michigan gets beaten by Minnesota, who got absolutely worn out at home by Mississippi State. Michigan has scored more than 20 points once this season … against UTEP. They generated all of 180 yards of total offense, and Barstool NIL QB Bryce Underwood looked awful again. But. The flip side Troy Bowles appears to be Michigan’s best defensive player, and he could make the 2-deep at linebacker at Georgia.

This graphic is a pretty good summary of Michigan football.

Karma is a bitch, Wolverines. There’s no doubt there should be a big asterisk by 2023.

Let’s head out west to check on the latest on the Men of Troy and the genius Lincoln Riley … yes, I understand they won.

USC comes back to beat Washington at home after falling behind by double digits. If that doesn’t happen, I’m betting Lincoln Riley may have been fired as early as Sunday morning. Life doesn’t get any easier for the Boy Wonder as as a home game against Jeremiah Smith and the Buckeyes and a November date at the defending national champion Hoosiers loom on the schedule. That’s without even mentioning the cross-town rivalry game with UCLA where Riley truly could be coaching for his job. Colin Cowpatty is hazzing a sad over this.

Let’s head back southeast to check on the state of college football in the Palmetto State … let’s just put it this way – it ain’t pretty.

With the “Enter Sandman” reference earlier in today’s feature, “Sandstorm” doesn’t save South Carolina from another blown double digit lead. Kentucky was left for dead after the 2nd half firebombing that Bama laid on them at Commonwealth Stadium (I can’t call it Kroger Field). It appears unlikely that Baby Beamer is going to last long enough for Kirby to drive the final nail in his career coffin in Columbia East. That job is a place where careers go to die. Is what South Carolina has become the result of pouring your NIL money into 2 players while neglecting the rest of the roster?

On the other hand, last night may have been Dabo’s last stand to maintain any credibility that he can turn things around at the Greater Anderson Cow College. I watched much of the first half, and it looked like Miami was just like a cat playing with a mouse before it finally decided it was time to go in for the kill. I wasn’t impressed with the Canes (I don’t get the money Miami spent on Mensah … he’s good, but he’s not this unstoppable force IMHO). Dabo is going to be given the opportunity to retire at Clemson on his own terms and be loved by their fan base. The game has truly passed him by at this point.

Let’s go back to Knoxville to check on the mental state of the Auburn Family post-loss to the Vols.

Auburn thought they were hiring their offensive genius in Golesh. What we’re finding out is that being successful at South Florida is a little different than the gauntlet that is the SEC. Byrum Brown looks terrible, and the Tigers’ defense got absolutely run over by Tennessee, who barely even tried to throw the ball. The fact they are saying that Drinkwitz wasn’t cool enough to be part of the Auburn family makes me laugh out loud.

Lather, rinse, repeat, Tiglesmen. We’re here for it.

That really was nothing but some context for our last stop of the weekend … Columbia, Missouri.

You knew this was eventually coming. The guy being claimed as the Gators’ savior is being dragged 5 weeks into his tenure as the Head Handbag. The Bloody Tuesday jokes write themselves after the way Missouri dominated Florida physically especially in the 2nd half. The 80-yard run they gave up to make it 45-10 was well blocked, and then the back just made the Gator secondary look awful. The “Won’t Back Down” serenade by the Missouri fans is just the chef’s kiss. I don’t know what that means for Halloween afternoon in Mercedes Benz Stadium, but I can imagine Kirby isn’t going to go easy on Jonny Boy.

A little bonus content from a genius at StinkTalk who has diagnosed their problem.

This is Nerd 101 kind of stuff. The next thing you know they’ll be hooking Key up to some biofeedback machine on the sideline to tell him when he needs to drink water. They are pathetic.

What did you see this weekend? Here’s to no UGA geniuses showing up in this space next Monday. GATA, Dawgs.

The weekend that was at MBG – week 4 edition

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The day in a moment

The teams (except 1) at the top of the rankings flexed their collective muscles while others came crashing back down to reality. We saw the emergence of a future opponent we didn’t believe would be a challenge before the season. We saw another rival’s season officially go up in glorious flames.

Let’s start today on the banks of the Tennessee River where this week’s meteor game occurred.

Texas wins a game on the road where they don’t recover an onside kick, have a -2 turnover margin, and lose over 110 yards hidden yards in penalties including one of the most idiotic, tasteless celebration penalties you’ll ever see. The Longhorns generate 10 sacks and hold Tennessee to under 20 points.

Can we just stop the constant talk of how tough a place to play Kneeland Stadium is? The Tennessee faithful seem to be getting close to the end of their ropes with Heupel.

Let’s go up to the Big House to check in on the temperature of the Maize & Blue.

Talking about the Big 10 officiating screwing them is priceless. If they can’t beat Iowa at home, I don’t think Indiana, Oregon, UCLA(!) and Ohio State are too worried about Michigan especially on offense. You give up a kickoff return for a touchdown and take a likely sure 3 off the scoreboard by going for it on 4th and short. Regardless of what their record says, Michigan is 2-2.

Our next stop is the Kentucky Bourbon Trail to see how Louisville’s season seems to be imploding.

Yes, Cardinals, you aren’t a serious program. Karma is a bitch after your coach implies Georgia was scared to come play you. Wake Forest has become one of those programs that shouldn’t be competitive in this new world order of college football, yet they were competitive with Miami and has 2 Power 4 road wins.

Let’s swing into Hogtown to check on the Rebel Black Bear Land Sharks as they come crashing back to reality.

Florida runs (literally and figuratively) Ole Miss out of North Florida and drops half a hundred on them while doing it. 302 yards rushing, 60% 3rd down conversion and 2 players over 100 yards rushing each show us that Ole Miss is vulnerable on defense. Is Florida likely to be a tougher out on Halloween? Yes, but I also think we know the Faulkner offense now.

I give Pete Golding 2 years before he’s run out of Oxford.

Let’s drop into the Classic City in the aftermath of the Dawgs’ dismantling of the program that is destined to become the Nebraska of the SEC.

Stephen A. Smith was right this week when he told a former Sooner appearing with him … “You’re going to get your ass kicked.” That’s what happened on Saturday afternoon in Athens. The Dawgs play a C game on offense and beat Oklahoma by 28. If you had Ryan Puglisi taking snaps in this game on your preseason Bingo card, you may need to get to your closest casino.

John Mateer looked awful. Their offensive line was downright offensive especially in the run game where most of their 65 yards rushing came after the starting defense was on the sideline.

Chris Cole was everywhere. Talyn Taylor is becoming WR1 before our eyes. Special teams were spot on. This team continues to get better.

Jared Curtis is probably having nightmares already thinking about what awaits him Saturday afternoon.

Let’s head out west to check in on the Boy Wonder after his team shows their asses against Oregon.

Arrogant Nation gets smacked down by Oregon, and Dan Lanning lets west coast recruits know what the difference in the 2 programs is. America’s worst ChatGPT poet comes into the game after Dante Moore’s scary injury to lead the Ducks to the win. On the play in question, QBs should have to go to 1 knee to give themselves up. The hit wasn’t necessary and was about as vicious as it gets. The USC players’ celebration after the hit was as tasteless as Collin Simmons’s post-sack celebration earlier in the day.

That hit is what the targeting rule was meant to stop not some of the normal football plays where things happen when 2 large human beings collide.

Let’s come back east to drop into Tuscaloosa as things slowly come apart for the Gamecocks.

Dylan Stewart makes an ass of himself. Shane Beamer’s time at South Carolina is going to come to an end. South Carolina ran for 216 yards on Alabama but scored just 18 points. Bama has found their QB in Russell. The Cocks had a chance to jump on Bama early and missed a field goal due a penalty. The next drive they try on the dumbest version of a QB sneak on 4th down. Then the floodgates opened.

I believe the Dawgs are getting ready to go to Tuscaloosa and make a statement in 2 weeks.

Let’s move on to the Bayou where another former Big 12 SEC member’s season is officially on the brink staring into the abyss.

Texas A&M, you ain’t hiring Nick Saban. If Texas couldn’t convince him to leave Bama, you aren’t going to convince him to come out of a retirement that he seems to love. You need a quarterback more than anything. Marcel Reed is worse than John Mateer. At least, Mateer can make an accurate throw when given time.

I could have posted another submission making fun of Elko’s body shape, but that has gotten old.

Little brother is in trouble.

Let’s end this week’s trip as the Nerds of North Avenue fear the Tree in Palo Alto and StinkTalk didn’t disappoint. The end of the Drought draws nearer.

Ken Whisenhunt is the nerds’ Obi-Wan Kenobi. 12 penalties, -2 turnover margin, and 4th and 45 tell me they aren’t the geniuses on the field we’re supposed to believe they are.

The Jacketasses may not be a point spread favorite again this season (at home against Boston College may be the exception).

Pain is coming in Sanford in November, and I can’t wait to see us make them quit.

The only problem with that is that StinkTalk won’t be open for lurking. #firstworldproblems

What caught your eye this week? Let us know in the comments.

The weekend that was at MBG – week 3 edition

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Maybe those pros would have helped you

We had a weekend with some upsets and one location of hate that boiled over in the genteel hamlet of Oxford. We had an inexplicable loss in College Station and a rout in Fayette Nam.

Let’s start our trip around the message board universe in Music City.

To say that loss is head scratching is an understatement. How you lose that game is a systemic failure across coaches and players. I didn’t see the run-up to the game’s last play, but if Doeren didn’t know if the QB knew what to do, call time out and tell him exactly what you want him to do. If you don’t trust Bailey to execute the plan, tell the punter to take the ball and run out of the back of the end zone for a safety or just punt.

Given some of the struggles Vandy has had this year so far, I expect us to inflict a lot of pain in 2 weeks’ time.

Here’s a brief text thread I had with a good friend who is a Pack fan (Dawg fan now, too).

Let’s move on to Fayetteville where the suits in Birmingham are keeping the Razorbacks down.

Both of the DPI calls were legitimate. Of course, the 2nd one should have never happened because Bobo should have run the ball on 1st down and scored. Of course it did lead to Helton’s clean-out of the Arkansas left side of its defense.

I admit I was worried that we weren’t going to be focused. After the first offensive series, that concern quickly disappeared. It does seem like a lot of us have gotten a bit spoiled about winning with style points.

Let’s head to back to the South Carolina Upstate where some geniuses don’t seem to like the makeup of the Clemson roster.

Clemson beats North Carolina (how long is the Belichick experiment going to continue) again. The Tigers scuffed around and eventually got the win, but UNC ran for a bunch of yards. Other than the Miami game, Clemson probably does have the talent (other than what the genius thinks) to win every other game on the schedule. They head out west for ACC After Dark in Berkeley (shakes head) before turning around to host Miami. If Saturday night goes sideways, there is no telling what folks in Greater Anderson will do.

Let’s head to Tuscaloosa where the Seminole faithful think Dumbo is their only hope after another loss post 63-3.

Florida State competed with Alabama until they didn’t. This game is a a perfect example of what the middle 8 are all about. Bama is down 21-6 entering the middle 8. They leave the middle 8 up by 2 after a TD on the opening drive of the 2nd half. Norvell completely mismanaged the end of the 2nd quarter especially on FSU’s last real possession before the half. Run it 3 times there and get a first down to then go hurry up or force Alabama to use their timeouts if they wanted to get the ball back. After the 2nd down sack, DeBoer smelled blood in the water and went after it. Still, FSU cut the lead to 7 late but then couldn’t get one more stop in Tuscaloosa.

The Alabama program has fallen so far off its perch that the crowd was doing the War Chant at the end of a game that honestly FSU had no business even being competitive in.

On the topic of the genius’s post, I’m sure Jimmy Sexton would love for those in Tallahassee to hire his client to wake up the echoes of Seminole football. After the way things ended in College Station with the best roster money can buy, I can’t see him bringing things back.

And speaking of geniuses with a smartphone.

Anytime Kanell twiXes, he ends up being community noted all over the place. Maybe he just wants the engagement, but the way people dunk on him online makes you feel sorry for him … almost.

Let’s cruise on down to College Station where once again Texas 8&4 is showing their true colors.

Every time the Aggies lose, their geniuses make light of Mike Elko’s weight. The real problem is that Marcel Reid is consistently overrated. He’s a turnover machine with both interceptions occurring deep in Kentucky territory where they killed scoring chances. Of course, Elko goes for a 4th and 1 in the red zone on the game‘s first drive and they don’t get it. Elko is talked about as this defensive genius, but 3 of Kentucky’s 4 TD drives are 75 yards or longer. That’s pretty lousy to me. He won games at Duke … big damn deal … he’s in the big leagues now and is probably going to a get a whopper of a buyout in a couple of year.

I hear Columbia, South Carolina is nice this time of year. The Cock faithful take it on the chin again but keep coming back for more.

I said before the season in the MP question that Shane Beamer was going to be the first head coach shown the door. After losing to Mississippi State, I see no reason to back off that prediction. South Carolina fans are a special breed … they keep buying tickets and supporting the program just to get let down by the program when it has a chance to make something positive happen. Kamario Taylor is becoming all of the things people said 18 months ago about LaNorris Sellers. That has to sting Gamecock fans.

Once again, unless something changes quickly, the Clemson-South Carolina game is looking like an old Jefferson Pilot noon game called by the Daves. It may be a loser leaves town kind of game if things go sideways.

Let’s check on the friendly folks from Norman after their near escape against New Mexico.

Oklahoma scores 14 and only runs for 61 yards against New Mexico. Barry Switzer has to be fit to be tied watching this (I honestly don’t know the status of his health) knowing that his Oklahoma teams would drop 70+ on teams like this back in the day. Oklahoma drops to #24 in the coaches poll and completely out of the AP poll. I expect the Sooners to put up a fight in Athens on Saturday afternoon. Sooner X is not hopeful at all about this weekend.

Our final stop is to check in on the Corn Dogs whose mouths wrote a check too big for their team to cash.

I didn’t stay up for the full game on Saturday night, but Ole Miss took it to LSU in the 1st half and still almost let it slip away. Of course, the Kiffin Kancer made the postgame all about what he did to make Ole Miss football matter to their fan base. Trinidad Chambliss is a special player no doubt about it. They aren’t going to finish the season unbeaten if they can’t run for more 60 yards in a game with a mobile quarterback. I wasn’t sold on either team entering the season, and I’m still not.

There are some special people on LSU message boards and the first post tagged is proof of that. By the way, I don’t think Chambliss should be playing.

That’s it for this week. If you saw something funny, let us know in the comments.

The weekend that was at MBG – week 2 edition

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Yeah, right …

The first 2 weeks of the season have not been good for the conference who can’t count as 2 of their national championship contenders go down on the road, and they have suffered multiple losses in out of conference play. While we haven’t truly had a wacky Saturday yet, we still encountered a number of message board genius meltdowns across the country on this past college football weekend.

Let’s start in Ann Arbor returning for a different reason than we thought 7 days ago..

Is Michigan as bad as their tainted win last week would indicate? Probably not. Are they going to get exposed as frauds as the season goes on? Probably, but this post isn’t about Michigan. Oklahoma looked like hot garbage on offense with fewer than 300 yards of total offense and a -2 turnover margin. I don’t get the love affair many in the national media have with John Mateer. They want to make him Baker Mayfield reincarnated, but I just don’t see it. The interception he threw was bad and set up Michigan on the doorstep to take the lead for good.

Brent Venables seems to be another defensive mastermind who doesn’t seem to be the best head coach. I really don’t see why Oklahoma saw a reason to extend and restructure his contract. His buyout is north of $50m. With games coming up at Georgia, the Red River Shootout, at Mississippi State (don’t laugh), at Florida and vs. Ole Miss, Venables may be on a scalding hot seat by November.

Let’s head to T. Boone Pickens-land to check on the state of the offseason national champions and another defensive mastermind who seems to find ways to lose.

After a serious scare at home in week 1 and a tumble down the rankings, #6 Oregon gets upset on the road by Oklahoma State, who got beaten soundly by Tulsa, who struggled this week to beat (check notes) Sam Houston. Because of Nike money, Oregon fans believe they are entitled to win national championships. The real question instead of what’s the problem with Dan Lanning may be what’s wrong with the long-time culture at Oregon where these kind of games seem to happen with regularity. I have no idea whether the rumored money being paid to Dante Moore to return to school is the real number or not, but I do wonder if that money has done something in the Ducks’ locker room. Also, a 52.9 QBR after 2 weeks isn’t exactly what a QB with a $5m NIL valuation should be.

Lanning’s calling card is supposed to be defense, and they gave up 550+ yards of total offense including over 230 yards on the ground … yikes. In the meantime, Oregon averaged less than 5 yards per play on offense

Let’s head back to the 404 to check on the temperature of the denizens of StinkTalk after being run over by Tennessee.

Leave it to some Tech nerd genius to express his opinion on Jacketass football using some kind of tech script. First, on Tennessee, you would have thought from the commentary last night that Faizon Brandon was Hendon Hooker. A stat line with 159 yards of total offense shouldn’t scare anyone remaining on the Hillbillies’ schedule. They ripped the Tech defense for 299 yards on the ground. Another poster said on another thread on StinkTalk that he was only focused on the Governor’s Cup … all I got to say to that is we are going to be ready to drop 50+ on them. They need to be worried they may have 7 or 8 losses by the time Clean Old Fashioned Hate rolls around in November.

As this season goes on, the anticipation of throwing the Drought on the ash heap of college football history grows. Given that game time is in a flex spot on Rivalry Saturday, I expect that Sanford is going to be ready.

Let’s head out west for a quick stop in Corvallis to see how the real Texas little brother fan base is doing.

Texas Tech escapes Oregon State with a win. I don’t think anyone in the Big 12 is shaking in their boots about facing this Texas Tech team. Given the little brother bravado their fan base showed this year, anything short of another Big 12 title is going make Cody Campbell and the Red Raider fan base put McGuire on the hot seat. All of these issues can’t be traced back to Brendan Sorsby, but the karma of what’s likely to happen during the rest of the season is going to be fun to watch after watching them defend playing the gambler.

On our way to the meteor game of the century, let’s see how next week’s opponent’s geniuses are doing after their late night trip to SLC.

If you want some Monday morning entertainment, check out one of the Arkansas Barstool accounts after Saturday night’s dismantling at the hands of Utah. I wish I had captured it. Let’s just put it this way … they aren’t optimistic.

Utah hasn’t exactly been known as a cradle of quarterbacks and the passing game. The Utes were 20 of 28 for 301 yards and a 10+ yards per attempt average. Now they face one of the hottest quarterbacks in the game. They rushed for 61 yards and less than 2.5 yards per attempt. It’s clear the Hog faithful are not happy with the choice of Silverfield. I’m sure Kirby is already showing the clip of Silverfield from Memphis last year and his lousy explanation at SEC Media Days. Here’s the reason I don’t understand the decision to fire a college coach midseason. Arkansas fired Pittman while at the same time having no plan resulting in this hire.

We’ll do more this week, but my prediction for Saturday is a lot of pain for the Hogs in Fayette Nam.

Let’s wrap up today with geniuses from both sides of the game in Austin.

Texas’s offense was hot garbage for most of the game. The 4th down end around was one of the worst offensive play calls I’ve seen in the last 10 years. The boo birds were out in Austin as Ohio State built their lead, and the Texas offense sputtered. Jeremiah Smith was running free through the Texas secondary, and Bo Jackson was getting tough yards.

Then, Muschamp made adjustments …

A segment of the Ohio State fan base seems to hate Ryan Day. I saw these game stats to demonstrate the scope of collapse of the Buckeyes in the 4th quarter last night. First, anOSU had won 115 consecutive games when holding a 20 point lead entering the 4th quarter. Second, AP #1 ranked teams were 197-0 since 2004 when holding a 20-point lead at any time in the 4th quarter. This made me laugh when I thought about the context of this past performance.

That’s what I saw this weekend. Did you see something even better? Let us know in the comments.

The (long) weekend that was at MBG – week 1 edition

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Is Tyler from Spartanburg happy right now?

The geniuses are back. Rather than talking about their bathroom habits or what they would do to get so-and-so player and coach, they are showing their ball-knowing to the world. Week 1 this year wasn’t likely to be to be a gold mine of genius, but we got enough on our trip to get some good laughs.

Let’s start today’s trip at Smart-Richt Field at Vince Dooley Stadium as the Jacketasses’ season collapses on the season’s first real night of games.

No one cares enough about Fech football to send genius posts from StinkTalk, but I’m here for you. 2 years ago the denizens of StinkTalk thought Brent Key was the reincarnation of Booby Dudd and Booby Ross, and he was going to get Kirby Smart fired at Georgia. Today, he’s another likely failure of a head coach on North Avenue.

To get physically manhandled by Coach Amazon Prime’s Buffaloes to the tune of 183 to 51 yards rushing should embarrass Mr. Tough Guy. Let’s follow the defensive statistics of Colorado throughout the year. That should tell us something when Thanksgiving weekend rolls around. Pain.

Let’s head a little downtown to Mercedes Benz Stadium to check on the geniuses of the Greater Opelika Cow College.

If that performance did anything for male enhancement in east Alabama, Auburn is in for a long season. Auburn wins because Dave Aranda goes for the win in regulation rather than playing for overtime. Auburn’s defense made DJ Lagway look serviceable, and Byrum Brown threw 3 picks. This Baylor team is far from the best team Auburn will face this year, so it’s not going to be pretty by the time the Iron Bowl rolls around.

On the other sideline …

Dave Aranda has run out of time in Waco without a dramatic turnaround. I give him credit for going for the win with the 2 point play, but the right play probably was to play for overtime. The guy is a defensive genius, but I don’t think he’s cut out to be the leader of the program … sort of like Will Muschamp.

This may be a good way to look at those 2 QBs:

Let’s move west to Tulsa to check in on Oklahoma’s little brother.

I don’t care about Oklahoma State football at all, but that post less than a year after “I’m a man! I’m 40!” got fired in Stillwater makes me laugh. Getting punked by double digits by Group of 5 Tulsa is not going to make the Big 12 look good to the committee. No matter what people say, the Big 12 is at best a 1 bid league given its make-up is more like a G6 league than a P4. I’m guessing the Pokes are happy that Bedlam isn’t going to be played this year, but, OTOH, on Saturday in Stillwater, they host …

Let’s head out west to check on the Handbags of the Northwest, Oregon.

Here’s the extent of ball-knowing in Eugene. The Ducks escape 34-27 over Boise, who isn’t close to the best teams Oregon will play this year. The team statistics look like Oregon should have smashed Boise like a top 5 team should do to solid G6 program, yet they needed a late touchdown to get the win. Nike is going to make sure Dante Moore gets a ton of hype for his Heismanesque performance against the Broncos.

If the pollsters do their job this weekend, I would expect that the Dawgs move past Oregon to #2 in the rankings released on Tuesday.

Let’s move on to Ann Arbor to check in on what appears to be the next scandal involving Michigan football.

Any Michigan fan who stormed the field on Saturday night after beating Western Michigan should be embarrassed. The way it happened should be an embarrassment to the B1G and its officials. That rationalization is never used at any other point in a game. A similar play would have never been reviewed for that particular issue.

Tim Brando gets something right for a change.

Also, it seems the MAC wants to keep those sweet Big 10 checks flowing:

Something stinks about this whole thing.

Let’s move on to the Bayou to check on the fleeting pulse of the Greater Anderson Cow College football program.

The Upstate South Carolina faithful seem to have had enough. Dabo Swinney is 121-46 without Deshaun Watson and Trevor Lawrence. Entering Death Valley on Saturday night, Clemson is 47-20 since Lawrence took his hair and talents to Northeast Florida. I don’t think many people expected Clemson to win in Baton Rouge. I know people didn’t expect Clemson football program to spontaneously combust on Saturday night either.

The benefit of the remaining schedule is that Clemson plays all of 1 currently ranked opponent.

This is cold:

Not really true but funny nonetheless.

Let’s move on to Music City to see the pucker factor for Ole Miss rise to meteoric levels.

If you gave up 38 to Louisville and needed a punt snapped over the head of the punter to provide one of the TDs, keep rationalizing, Rebels. The Kiffin Kancer is coming, and I imagine he is planning to lay waste to Oxford given they gave up almost 500 yards and a number of explosive plays.

While this week’s game in Austin is the meteor game of the century for me, the Magnolia Bowl is setting up to be a meteor game as well. Both fan bases are being insufferable for different reasons.

We’re going to finish our trip last night under the sort-of lights of Doak Campbell.

I didn’t stay up to watch the full game. The message boards geniuses want Norvell out yesterday. I’m sure every one of them will be happy to contribute their 401k’s to his massive buyout to make it happen. The power outage is symptomatic of the problems FSU is having right now. They have a chance to make a statement on national TV, and they have this happen. They have been a joke at QB since Jordan Travis’s injury. They have been awful on the offensive line since Dumbo was there.

Kirby broke them in Miami. Danny Kanell still isn’t over it … he had us #12 in weekend rankings.

That’s what I saw this weekend. I can’t wait to see which 2 fan bases in this coming weekend’s meteor games meltdown.

MBG – Are Bammers really this stupid?

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At first, I thought this was due to a typo due to a missing decimal point. Then, I kept reading.

Good grief.

I guess the answer is yes. I’m sure this dude calls F-bum regularly.

Sometimes it’s best to be silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.