The teams (except 1) at the top of the rankings flexed their collective muscles while others came crashing back down to reality. We saw the emergence of a future opponent we didn’t believe would be a challenge before the season. We saw another rival’s season officially go up in glorious flames.
Let’s start today on the banks of the Tennessee River where this week’s meteor game occurred.
Texas wins a game on the road where they don’t recover an onside kick, have a -2 turnover margin, and lose over 110 yards hidden yards in penalties including one of the most idiotic, tasteless celebration penalties you’ll ever see. The Longhorns generate 10 sacks and hold Tennessee to under 20 points.
Can we just stop the constant talk of how tough a place to play Kneeland Stadium is? The Tennessee faithful seem to be getting close to the end of their ropes with Heupel.
Let’s go up to the Big House to check in on the temperature of the Maize & Blue.
Talking about the Big 10 officiating screwing them is priceless. If they can’t beat Iowa at home, I don’t think Indiana, Oregon, UCLA(!) and Ohio State are too worried about Michigan especially on offense. You give up a kickoff return for a touchdown and take a likely sure 3 off the scoreboard by going for it on 4th and short. Regardless of what their record says, Michigan is 2-2.
Our next stop is the Kentucky Bourbon Trail to see how Louisville’s season seems to be imploding.
Yes, Cardinals, you aren’t a serious program. Karma is a bitch after your coach implies Georgia was scared to come play you. Wake Forest has become one of those programs that shouldn’t be competitive in this new world order of college football, yet they were competitive with Miami and has 2 Power 4 road wins.
Let’s swing into Hogtown to check on the Rebel Black Bear Land Sharks as they come crashing back to reality.
Florida runs (literally and figuratively) Ole Miss out of North Florida and drops half a hundred on them while doing it. 302 yards rushing, 60% 3rd down conversion and 2 players over 100 yards rushing each show us that Ole Miss is vulnerable on defense. Is Florida likely to be a tougher out on Halloween? Yes, but I also think we know the Faulkner offense now.
I give Pete Golding 2 years before he’s run out of Oxford.
Let’s drop into the Classic City in the aftermath of the Dawgs’ dismantling of the program that is destined to become the Nebraska of the SEC.
Stephen A. Smith was right this week when he told a former Sooner appearing with him … “You’re going to get your ass kicked.” That’s what happened on Saturday afternoon in Athens. The Dawgs play a C game on offense and beat Oklahoma by 28. If you had Ryan Puglisi taking snaps in this game on your preseason Bingo card, you may need to get to your closest casino.
John Mateer looked awful. Their offensive line was downright offensive especially in the run game where most of their 65 yards rushing came after the starting defense was on the sideline.
Chris Cole was everywhere. Talyn Taylor is becoming WR1 before our eyes. Special teams were spot on. This team continues to get better.
Jared Curtis is probably having nightmares already thinking about what awaits him Saturday afternoon.
Let’s head out west to check in on the Boy Wonder after his team shows their asses against Oregon.
Arrogant Nation gets smacked down by Oregon, and Dan Lanning lets west coast recruits know what the difference in the 2 programs is. America’s worst ChatGPT poet comes into the game after Dante Moore’s scary injury to lead the Ducks to the win. On the play in question, QBs should have to go to 1 knee to give themselves up. The hit wasn’t necessary and was about as vicious as it gets. The USC players’ celebration after the hit was as tasteless as Collin Simmons’s post-sack celebration earlier in the day.
That hit is what the targeting rule was meant to stop not some of the normal football plays where things happen when 2 large human beings collide.
Let’s come back east to drop into Tuscaloosa as things slowly come apart for the Gamecocks.
Dylan Stewart makes an ass of himself. Shane Beamer’s time at South Carolina is going to come to an end. South Carolina ran for 216 yards on Alabama but scored just 18 points. Bama has found their QB in Russell. The Cocks had a chance to jump on Bama early and missed a field goal due a penalty. The next drive they try on the dumbest version of a QB sneak on 4th down. Then the floodgates opened.
I believe the Dawgs are getting ready to go to Tuscaloosa and make a statement in 2 weeks.
Let’s move on to the Bayou where another former Big 12 SEC member’s season is officially on the brink staring into the abyss.
Texas A&M, you ain’t hiring Nick Saban. If Texas couldn’t convince him to leave Bama, you aren’t going to convince him to come out of a retirement that he seems to love. You need a quarterback more than anything. Marcel Reed is worse than John Mateer. At least, Mateer can make an accurate throw when given time.
I could have posted another submission making fun of Elko’s body shape, but that has gotten old.
Little brother is in trouble.
Let’s end this week’s trip as the Nerds of North Avenue fear the Tree in Palo Alto and StinkTalk didn’t disappoint. The end of the Drought draws nearer.
Ken Whisenhunt is the nerds’ Obi-Wan Kenobi. 12 penalties, -2 turnover margin, and 4th and 45 tell me they aren’t the geniuses on the field we’re supposed to believe they are.
The Jacketasses may not be a point spread favorite again this season (at home against Boston College may be the exception).
Pain is coming in Sanford in November, and I can’t wait to see us make them quit.
The only problem with that is that StinkTalk won’t be open for lurking. #firstworldproblems
What caught your eye this week? Let us know in the comments.