Category Archives: Don’t Mess with Texas

The weekend that was at MBG – week 7

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Dawgs beat the Dawgs.

Well, that time has come. I’m not going to duck this week’s post just because we lost and frankly looked like hot garbage while doing it. Multiple teams including Georgia looked like their games from the previous week took something out of them. It looks like one coach is standing at the standing at the precipice of what could be an unbelievable fall.

Let’s get it out of the way and start today’s trip in the Classic City.

I’m sure these 2 geniuses were crowing about going 16-0 and winning the whole damn thing last Saturday night after Tuscaloosa. No excuses. Auburn played physical on both sides of the ball … that surprised me. Byrum Brown never had the backbreaking turnover, but Gunner did … that surprised me. The terrible penalties? That surprised me.

To people who want to place the blame completely on Gunner (yes, he gets some of the blame … see above), he wasn’t on the field when the only play that seemed to work for Auburn was the QB run. The undisciplined penalties weren’t by the offense.

I admit I start every game with the defense because that’s Kirby’s side of the ball and where our talent has been stacked. The defense was spotted a 14-0 lead even with Puglisi having a forced involvement in the first drive. The effort after that until the 4th quarter was awful, period.

Kirby was right during his press conference. All of this team’s goals sit in front of them IF, IF, IF they play disciplined, complementary football. There could be multiple losses on the horizon if they don’t. Any big overarching conclusion about the direction of the program and especially of Kirby’s stewardship of the program over 1 loss should be ridiculed.

Let’s move on to the banks of the Tennessee River as Georgia beats Alabama for the 2nd week in a row.

All week we were told that Bama was going to take out all of their frustration from last Saturday on Tennessee. Instead, they got their asses beat in Knoxville. -2 turnover margin, less than 4 yards per play, 24:00 of time of possession. They gave up 20 first downs and 350 yards to an offense led by a quarterback whose name sounds more like the chairman of the board of your local Kiwanis Club rather than an SEC quarterback.

I wonder if the windows of Kalen DeBoer’s office have brick-resistant glass in them. The Auburn team we played yesterday (Will it be?) will whip Alabama in T-town.

Let’s go out to DKR where Sark is looking into the abyss after losing at home to the Handbags who looked like garbage the last 2 weeks.

Even in a win, the North Florida trailer park trash doesn’t get a pass.

Damn, the meteor didn’t hit again. The Texas faithful have to be fit to be tied at this point. They have lost 2 games in a row to mediocre to OK programs. Texas was 2-10 on 3rd down. Florida had 38 minutes of possession. The Longhorns blow a 1st half 2 TD lead to a team that was absolutely lit up and left for dead the last 2 weeks.

Hey, Handbags, when I bookmarked this, I was hoping you would completely melt down on Saturday. I don’t know if Sumrall is another Sun Belt Billy or the next coming of the Corch. What I do know is that you are going to have our full and complete attention in 2 weeks’ time. That hasn’t typically gone well for you over the last 10 years.

Let’s move on to lovely hamlet of Oxford to check on the ultimate SEC interloper, Missouri.

That running game that ran all over Florida and Texas A&M the last couple of weeks went for 39 yards on 26 carries, and Ole Miss gashed the Tigers for almost 500 yards and 31 points. Is that the Ole Miss defense we’ll see the rest of the season or did they put it together for one day in Oxford?

Missouri fans who call Drinkwitz a “beta” deserve to have him leave and take his abilities elsewhere. I wouldn’t at all be surprised to see an ACC school make a run at him this offseason.

Let’s move out west to check in on the ultimate media darling after they lose their first game against a real opponent.

If Notre Dame loses to Miami in South Bend in 3 weeks, will the committee penalize them for their joke of a schedule come rankings time? Certainly, if they lose to both currently ranked opponents remaining on their schedule, there’s no way they can be in top 12 to get their special treatment that no one else gets.

Can the sport’s powers that be quit treating Notre Dame like it’s 1976 instead of 2026? Of course, now we’re going to devalue winning a conference in the expanded playoff, so any motivation the Domers would have joining a conference for football is now gone.

We’re going to finish our trip in what has become a mainstay on our trips over the last few years … Clemson, South Carolina … and it has nothing to do with what happened in their win over Charleston Southern.

Yes, you would expect a Civil War reference to come from the state of South Carolina. To this genius, the problem the Tigers have has nothing to do with programs from the north raiding for talent. It’s that Dabo hasn’t found an NFL top of the draft type of quarterback since Trevor Lawrence left. No one has ever really thought Swinney is this great Xs & Os kind of coach. I don’t even think he’s this great CEO within the program itself. He got people to open their checkbooks and cheered on lil old Clemson to the IPTAY crowd. Everyone knows he got a few players and took advantage of the Almost Competitive Conference while Miami and FSU were down.

What did you see this weekend? Let us know in the comments.

The weekend that was at MBG – week 6 edition

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You just lost to John Mateer.

Saturday was glorious. I hope the pollsters find some reason to continue to disrespect us and move Notre Dame to #1. Anyway, on a day like this the message boards once again didn’t disappoint and our geniuses didn’t show up even when it felt the game may be slipping away.

Let’s start today’s trip in Louisville on Friday night for Mike Norvell’s throwing away all of his goodwill from the week before away with 1 play call.

On the road up 14 and instead of going up by 3 scores, Norvell decides to go for it on the 2 yard line and then calls a play where the ball gets thrown behind the line of scrimmage. I don’t know if a field goal there changes the eventual outcome, but it allowed the floodgates to open on the next play from scrimmage when Louisville has a 97 yard run to cut the lead in half. If you’re going to go for it there, either line up and run or make sure you throw the ball into the end zone.

Norvell is a dead man walking at this point. The question is whether they can raise the money to buy out his contract plus his assistants.

Ouch.

Let’s move on to Hogtown where it hasn’t taken long for the Handbags’ season to start free fallin’.

-3 turnover margin gets you beat most Saturdays, and, most of the time, that team gets run out of the building. Giving up 10 of 16 3rd downs is not a good look for a Handbag defense that has multiple loseable games on the schedule left on the schedule. I wonder what the ticket market for the Cocktail Party on the Gator side of MBS is like right now as they get ready to head to Austin for a date with Texas who deep down knows their faceplant in Hogtown last fall was the reason they weren’t in the CFP.

Jonny Boy is finding out really quickly how fickle Handbags are. At this point, the Florida-FSU game may end up on the ACC Network+.

Let’s head to CoMo to check on the mental state of Drink’s latest beatdown victim … Texas 8&4.

That first post is truly genius worthy, or maybe a T-sip posing as an Aggie pulls a great troll.

Could the Missouri game in November end up as the biggest home game of the year? After the last 2 weeks, that appears likely now. Texas A&M is officially on tilt after their defense gets shredded for 252 rushing yards.

On the other side, this stat line is horrible.

Yikes.

At 3-3, it could get ugly for Elko because the Aggie oilmen are more than happy to pay another buyout.

Speaking of little brothers, let’s look in on the Greater Opelika Cow College’s preparation for the DSOR (Dawgs, be loud on Saturday … no letdown).

Auburn fans are as bad as Tech nerds over their never-ending obsession with all things Bama. I’m not going to watch the Sa(t)an documentary for many reasons, but seeing a Barner call any program a bunch of cheaters is rich.

Let’s head to the west coast where the preseason national champions’ season is going up in smoke.

7 turnovers. 20:00 of time of possession. 73 yards rushing. 1 for 12 on 3rd down. Damn, just damn, Dan.

If Kirby decided he has had enough, Lanning would no longer be on my list of coaches I would want to pursue. He has every advantage a first time head coach would want, yet he finds ways to lose games where his team is more talented.

Let’s head to Dallas to check on the status of “Texas is back!” after Sark and Arch fail yet again.

To the genius that fires a stray at Kirby, I’m sure Kirby is worried about your opinion. Texas gets exposed by Oklahoma’s defense, and the Archduke is officially out of the Heisman race after throwing 2 backbreaking picks in the 4th quarter. Steve Sarkisian has to be looking at the fine print in his contract after this one. Oklahoma was dreadful on offense again, but Mateer makes 2 throws that make all the difference in crunch time.

That “best team money can buy” strategy appears to be exploding in Texass’s face. Speaking of programs overspending on NIL …

Let’s head back to horse/bourbon country to check in with the Corn Dogs after losing to Kentucky.

I know a lot of LSU fans aren’t that smart, but that genius doesn’t understand the basics of what $19 million really means. A quick Google search mentioned the following: A waterfront mansion in Ft. Lauderdale, a super-yacht, or a portfolio that generates $760k a year (conservatively without touching the principal).

On to the game itself, Kentucky goes for the win in the first overtime for the 2nd week in a row and lives to tell about it. If this keeps up Will Stein may be in line for SEC CotY. There isn’t a game left on the schedule that Kentucky can’t win starting on Saturday night in Norman where they open as a 6.5 point underdog.

On the other side, LSU is fortunate the game went to overtime after 2 turnovers in their own territory both resulted in no points. The Cajuns adored Kiffin in December and are now turning on him in October. They still have upcoming games against Texas and Alabama which I’m sure Disney will put at night in Death Valley.

This will hurt:

Let’s move on to our last spot of the night … west Alabama where the Dawgs win with a flair for the dramatic.

There’s been plenty of cloud storage used over the 36 hours about the officiating and the embarrassment of Fowler and Herbstreit. Dawg in Austin’s observations post from yesterday is a tour de force in analysis if you haven’t yet read it.

My take on Saturday night is that this was a win for the culture and values of the program as created by Kirby Smart. I have said for 10 years now that Kirby took the Process of Saban and put a human face on it.

Connection – Even when Sacovie muffed the punt (thank goodness for Blake Stewart), Kirby and some players made it clear that they were behind him. He made a clear fair catch of the next one.

Composure – It would have been easy for the team to lose their composure as Alabama turned the game in the 2nd quarter, but clearly the team did not leave the field for halftime discouraged.

Resilience – The first drive of the 2nd half was resilience in action. That was coming off the mat and pulling up the defense after the late 2nd quarter drive.

Physicality – The drive chart of the 2nd half was a beauty to behold: 8 plays, 75 yards, 4:22 (TD); 11 plays, 69 yards, 6:20 (Missed FG); 10 plays, 84 yards, 5:19 (FG); and 8 plays, 40 yards, 3:10 (End of game).

G.A.T.A.

What did you see this weekend that made you laugh out loud? Let us know in the comments.

Thanks to Sark and Clark

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For all the chatter on here about Gunner, I’m glad for one thing: we don’t have the Manning wunderkind and Jared Curtis’s soft ass on campus in Athens.

Mind you, Archduke has another year. Maybe he’ll have a better year at Florida State.

Meanwhile, in Nashville:

This is from Theo Von’s Instagram page. That’s Curtis, far left, hanging out with Go Diego Go and some other nitwits of social media importance.

One thing I’ll say is that Pug’s reps on Saturday is proof that QBs can be developed at UGA. I question if Gunner was concussed and if Pugs was balling, why not leave him in. I think that’s a healthy debate to have, in other words, what an abundance of riches we may have.

There were times in the past where I questioned if he was as billed, but he stepped in and stepped up. Meanwhile, Arch is going from first round draft pick (I could’ve told you that was a mistake) to benched and Jared Curtis’s mom, who wanted him in Athens, has to be losing sleep seeing her son suck and blow at the same time as an Admiral.

NIL means a lot, but it doesn’t mean success. It can mean suckcess, though, and if I were Jared’s parents I’d be calling Kirby and offering a mea culpa ASAP.

As far as the Mannings, screw them and the mule they rode in on. Arch can be a flame out and I couldn’t be happier for it. At least Peyton enrolled his kid in a competitive school, unlike what Arch experienced in high school.

Glad he’s not wearing red and black. And happy that Gunner is our QB, despite the one bad game.

Seriously, tell me another game where you can say Gunner was personally to blame for the loss. He’s no Carson Beck, I’ll give him that.

Keeping It Classy In Austin

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In case you missed it, the “Real UTI” was defined over the weekend, with Texass prevailing over Tennessee. If you could’ve told me there was a program that could outclass the Vols, I’d say bullshit.

But, man, the Longhorns really stepped up their game, I’ll give them that.

Screenshot

Colin Simmons, here’s your roses.

But wait…there’s more!

Gotta hand it to you, Shorthorns. You joined the league and have had an immediate impact to somehow wash away the general douchiness of Tennessee and Florida fanbases, albeit you can’t actually win the conference.

The weekend that was at MBG – week 2 edition

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Yeah, right …

The first 2 weeks of the season have not been good for the conference who can’t count as 2 of their national championship contenders go down on the road, and they have suffered multiple losses in out of conference play. While we haven’t truly had a wacky Saturday yet, we still encountered a number of message board genius meltdowns across the country on this past college football weekend.

Let’s start in Ann Arbor returning for a different reason than we thought 7 days ago..

Is Michigan as bad as their tainted win last week would indicate? Probably not. Are they going to get exposed as frauds as the season goes on? Probably, but this post isn’t about Michigan. Oklahoma looked like hot garbage on offense with fewer than 300 yards of total offense and a -2 turnover margin. I don’t get the love affair many in the national media have with John Mateer. They want to make him Baker Mayfield reincarnated, but I just don’t see it. The interception he threw was bad and set up Michigan on the doorstep to take the lead for good.

Brent Venables seems to be another defensive mastermind who doesn’t seem to be the best head coach. I really don’t see why Oklahoma saw a reason to extend and restructure his contract. His buyout is north of $50m. With games coming up at Georgia, the Red River Shootout, at Mississippi State (don’t laugh), at Florida and vs. Ole Miss, Venables may be on a scalding hot seat by November.

Let’s head to T. Boone Pickens-land to check on the state of the offseason national champions and another defensive mastermind who seems to find ways to lose.

After a serious scare at home in week 1 and a tumble down the rankings, #6 Oregon gets upset on the road by Oklahoma State, who got beaten soundly by Tulsa, who struggled this week to beat (check notes) Sam Houston. Because of Nike money, Oregon fans believe they are entitled to win national championships. The real question instead of what’s the problem with Dan Lanning may be what’s wrong with the long-time culture at Oregon where these kind of games seem to happen with regularity. I have no idea whether the rumored money being paid to Dante Moore to return to school is the real number or not, but I do wonder if that money has done something in the Ducks’ locker room. Also, a 52.9 QBR after 2 weeks isn’t exactly what a QB with a $5m NIL valuation should be.

Lanning’s calling card is supposed to be defense, and they gave up 550+ yards of total offense including over 230 yards on the ground … yikes. In the meantime, Oregon averaged less than 5 yards per play on offense

Let’s head back to the 404 to check on the temperature of the denizens of StinkTalk after being run over by Tennessee.

Leave it to some Tech nerd genius to express his opinion on Jacketass football using some kind of tech script. First, on Tennessee, you would have thought from the commentary last night that Faizon Brandon was Hendon Hooker. A stat line with 159 yards of total offense shouldn’t scare anyone remaining on the Hillbillies’ schedule. They ripped the Tech defense for 299 yards on the ground. Another poster said on another thread on StinkTalk that he was only focused on the Governor’s Cup … all I got to say to that is we are going to be ready to drop 50+ on them. They need to be worried they may have 7 or 8 losses by the time Clean Old Fashioned Hate rolls around in November.

As this season goes on, the anticipation of throwing the Drought on the ash heap of college football history grows. Given that game time is in a flex spot on Rivalry Saturday, I expect that Sanford is going to be ready.

Let’s head out west for a quick stop in Corvallis to see how the real Texas little brother fan base is doing.

Texas Tech escapes Oregon State with a win. I don’t think anyone in the Big 12 is shaking in their boots about facing this Texas Tech team. Given the little brother bravado their fan base showed this year, anything short of another Big 12 title is going make Cody Campbell and the Red Raider fan base put McGuire on the hot seat. All of these issues can’t be traced back to Brendan Sorsby, but the karma of what’s likely to happen during the rest of the season is going to be fun to watch after watching them defend playing the gambler.

On our way to the meteor game of the century, let’s see how next week’s opponent’s geniuses are doing after their late night trip to SLC.

If you want some Monday morning entertainment, check out one of the Arkansas Barstool accounts after Saturday night’s dismantling at the hands of Utah. I wish I had captured it. Let’s just put it this way … they aren’t optimistic.

Utah hasn’t exactly been known as a cradle of quarterbacks and the passing game. The Utes were 20 of 28 for 301 yards and a 10+ yards per attempt average. Now they face one of the hottest quarterbacks in the game. They rushed for 61 yards and less than 2.5 yards per attempt. It’s clear the Hog faithful are not happy with the choice of Silverfield. I’m sure Kirby is already showing the clip of Silverfield from Memphis last year and his lousy explanation at SEC Media Days. Here’s the reason I don’t understand the decision to fire a college coach midseason. Arkansas fired Pittman while at the same time having no plan resulting in this hire.

We’ll do more this week, but my prediction for Saturday is a lot of pain for the Hogs in Fayette Nam.

Let’s wrap up today with geniuses from both sides of the game in Austin.

Texas’s offense was hot garbage for most of the game. The 4th down end around was one of the worst offensive play calls I’ve seen in the last 10 years. The boo birds were out in Austin as Ohio State built their lead, and the Texas offense sputtered. Jeremiah Smith was running free through the Texas secondary, and Bo Jackson was getting tough yards.

Then, Muschamp made adjustments …

A segment of the Ohio State fan base seems to hate Ryan Day. I saw these game stats to demonstrate the scope of collapse of the Buckeyes in the 4th quarter last night. First, anOSU had won 115 consecutive games when holding a 20 point lead entering the 4th quarter. Second, AP #1 ranked teams were 197-0 since 2004 when holding a 20-point lead at any time in the 4th quarter. This made me laugh when I thought about the context of this past performance.

That’s what I saw this weekend. Did you see something even better? Let us know in the comments.

The Best That Money Can’t Buy

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How are things going right now in Texas?

Firstly…

But, wait, there’s more…

And…

Meanwhile, the odds of Archduke Manning winning the Heisman, or anything of significance for that matter, are dropping by the day.

Look, it’s not like any one out there is really believing that Sark is a top flight coach and has his collective shit together. It’s been apparent for a while that he doesn’t.

What is becoming grossly apparent is that all the money in the world doesn’t guarantee anything, and it’s still very possible to take a $40+ million dollar roster and turn them into Auburn with a lack of team management skills.

And he still calls the offensive plays.

While we lament Bobo and wonder about Kirby’s dedication to quarterbacks and his thoughts on flashy offense, it’s a damn far sight from what’s going on in Austin, Texas, or even in Baton Rouge.

With stuff like what’s posted above out there, it’s not too much of a stretch to imagine Justice Terry coming back to Athens at some point, not for better NIL money, but to have even the slightest chance at making the pros.

But hey, at least they don’t have to play Georgia this year.

As the Archduke Throws

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Lo, the hype around Sir Manning…it grows.

Quick reminder, Cam dropped a crucial pass against Alabama, and Arch didn’t win shit last year. And how are two quarterbacks throwing passes at the same time and we’re supposed to be impressed.

Show me a clip of Arch being pressure and holding on to the ball, and I might start to get worried.

So it goes.

Everyone’s Bigger on Texas

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Doesn’t this sound familiar?

SEC Media Days are here, and the media darling is, of course, the Shorthorns. As a reminder, this was the sentiment last year around August…

Since the new Alabama isn’t anything like the old Alabama, I’d say that Texas and New Alabama are neck and neck in the underwhelming department.

And it also wasn’t too long ago…

Cough.

Message Board Geniuses – Who’s your daddy edition

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The Hamburgers said on the SEC Network on the night they became official members of the SEC, “We want Georgia.” I think they have found out they don’t really want Georgia anymore.

For Mcm23, we find the combination of a triple letter score with a Q and a double word score that empties the tile for a 50 point bonus every time we play them.

Let’s let Kirby have the final word: