Allow this to be your sacrilegious Sunday hating post.
You hate to see it, right?
Meanwhile, up the road a ways, the other Everything School in the SEC just lost another SEC series to their in-state rivals.
I’ll be cheering loudly for Michigan today in hopes that Tennessee is locked out of yet another Final Four, too. And no worries, Hillbillies…you’ll probably have your championship winning coach back next year the way the season is starting off for San Francisco.
FTMFs.
People, this is a real thing. When folks ask me about a bizarre happening in my life, I ask them, “could I make this shit up”? In this case, I can’t:
Yayyyy. We earned a participation prize.
That toilet paper usually is smeared with feces, so it’s only fitting that they adorn their campus with it whenever they accomplish the most middling or made up things.
And here I was thinking only Mr. Rodgers has a land of make believe in their house.
Shocker.
Shot:
Chaser:
To be fair, Tuberville did sit out a year after Auburn before taking the Texas Tech job in 2010, but didn’t sit out when he abruptly left there to go to Cincinnati in 2012. While Pearl has aspirations as a politician and Tuberville currently is one, I’m not sure that former Auburn coaches really need to be weighing in on NIL, the Portal, or probably even politics.
As always, Auburn sucks.
Remember this?
As it turns out, they are kind of the new Alabama, if by that you mean DeBoer’s Alabama. Kind of overhyped and disappointing.
Lo, it didn’t stop there. Also recall that 2025 was set to be the James Franklin breakout year.
He broke out alright. He broke out and headed to Blacksburg for a new job. But all was not lost, after all, as Penn State would come out victorious in their bowl game against another preseason favorite to go deep into the CFP, Clemson.
Welp, it was the Pinstripe Bowl, not the Sugar or Orange or anything. Cough.
Anyway, we ended the year on a sour note, but it’s safe to say we rose above expectations many of us had heading in to the year. With the expanded playoffs, it’s harder and harder to have the endurance and grit to push all the way to a Natty, so maybe expectations should be tempered, no? Let’s face it, at least we weren’t being lead by Brian Kelly or anything.
On that Irish connected note, what’s your takeaway on the biggest disappointment of the 2025 season? Was it a team, like an Oregon or LSU, who didn’t rise to the occasion? Was it the SEC face plant to end the season?
One thing that’s never disappointing is seeing stuff like this:
Let’s hear it. And what would you like to see more or less of in 2026?
Here’s your January reminder that Auburn sucks.
I’ve said it before, but it’s amazing how far Auburn has fallen ever since Malzahan’s comment about dog crap. While that was the 2017 season, 2018 was Stidham’s team, going 8-5 and beating a hapless Purdue team for the bowl win.
Karma’s a bitch…and possibly a Bulldawg.
Go Dawgs!
Enjoy.
#9 on the list is the one that cracked me up.
I believe #1 was used in a post during the year.
Our geniuses come in at #20 and #43 if you’re interested. Also 7 but I understand that’s Third Year Letterman.
Shot:
Chaser:
I’d have to imagine Alex Golesh’s first impression of the Plains had to be on par with Morgan Freeman’s first impression of Eastside High School in Lean on Me.
Maybe all the departures are a good thing for Auburn, and maybe Golesh is going to infuse Auburn with USF transfers to take their place. Either way, it’s hard to imagine it could get any worse for the Barners.
On the other hand, if it can get worse, I’m here for it, too.
Well, well, well …
The effect of NIL with unrestricted transfers (although this is Coleman’s first portal) is another topic for another day.
Folks in Greater Opelika can’t be happy with the new staff if Coleman leaves for Tuscaloosa.
I hope it stands out to you here, too:
Auburn and South Carolina really need to reconsider their return on investment, to say the least. While Nico did up and leave, one has to wonder when looking at these players and their respective teams, was it even worth it? Of the Top 25, only 5 teams represented here are in the CFP…and another five aren’t even playing a bowl game.
Also, this is your daily reminder that wherever and however Kirby is spending the Collective’s NIL funds, it’s clearly working out better than it is for others in the conference.
Also, DJ Lagway. Cough.
Anyway…maybe the better investment for college football programs would be a Financial Planner, or an Actuarian.
At least with all that NIL money they spent in Auburn, they didn’t have to worry about financing toilet paper on Toomer’s Corner. You only get to roll the trees when you win, after all.
With the number of firings at this point in the regular season, the message boards were a little calmer than normal, but we did see some meltdowns. I’m here to share the ones I think are genius worthy.
Let’s start out in Columbia West as Missouri is rapidly heading to meaningless bowl game status.
Missouri gets boat-raced by Texas A&M on Saturday afternoon. It’s hard to blame the loss on anything but really bad injury luck as Matt Zollars gets his first start and looks like a true freshman. Drinkwitz made a Kirby Smart Sugar Bowl type of error late in the 2nd quarter. Down 7-0, 3rd and 10 on the Mizz 42 with less than a minute to go in the half, Missouri can go to the half down 7 and getting the ball to start the 3rd. Zollars fumbles on a 14 yard sack, and A&M runs it back to the 2. The game was virtually over at that point.
Let’s move on to Nashville to check in on the coaching search in Greater Opelika.
I’m not guessing a certain coach in Athens and one in Tuscaloosa are shaking in their boots of Tulane’s coach finding his way to the Alabama Cow College. The reason I posted this is the Sun Belt Billy effect on SEC fan bases. No one at the “upper tier” of the league wants to be the next hiring a Group of 5 coach into the rough and tumble environment on the SEC.
On the game, Auburn loses again. This time their defense gives up 500 plus yards, and they blow a 4th quarter lead. Cam Coleman goes off in his potential audition for the transfer portal.
Let’s move on to check in on the latest on the Handbags.
North central jort-wearing Handbags making comments about others’ questionable sexual behavior with close relatives is priceless. Georgia beats Florida twice as the Gators throw in the towel on the season. DJ Lagway was finally benched after throwing 3 more interceptions. The Gators average less than 3 yards per play and give up 400 yards.
At this point, Gator fans are going to be singing, “There’s no place like home for the holidays” unless they win their last 3 games. Let’s move on to the Upstate to check in on the Tribe.
Florida State takes it on the chin at Clemson 24-10. The Florida-FSU game is likely to be as entertaining as Clemson-South Carolina at this point. I assume Florida State doesn’t want and/or can’t afford to join the coaching carousel.
How did this Florida State team beat Alabama?
How did the same Clemson team that gave up 46 to Duke absolutely stymie the FSU offense?
Let’s end this week’s trip in Starkville.
I don’t like putting Georgia here. The beginning of the game was bad on defense, and I’m glad it wasn’t a harbinger for the remainder of the game. The offense was clicking from the start even with the unfortunate turnover on the goal line on the 2nd possession. A segment of our fan base isn’t going to be happy unless we put a TCU or FSU whipping on every one of our opponents.
To Queefus, Kirby is never going to fire an assistant midseason without a darn good reason (likely off the field). Just stop.
What did you see this weekend? Let us know in the comments.