Here’s the reason Texas Tech needs oil money.
I’ve never been to and never plan to go to Lubbock, Texas.
Even if Georgia never wins another national championship, Athens > everywhere else.
Category Archives: Message Boards Are for Geniuses
MBG – season summary edition
Enjoy.
#9 on the list is the one that cracked me up.
I believe #1 was used in a post during the year.
Our geniuses come in at #20 and #43 if you’re interested. Also 7 but I understand that’s Third Year Letterman.
Today, In Message Board Geniuses: New Math in Alabama
Do some quick math on this one.
That person would be anywhere between 118 and 122, and I’m guessing anyone who played football in the leather helmet era didn’t have as long a shelf life as Charley Trippi, who did manage to make it into his hundreds before passing in 2022.
But someone born at the turn of the last century? That’s going to be a hard one to find, Gumps.
Good look digging one up for the distinction, though.
The weekend that was at MBG – 1st round edition
The 1st round is in the books. I hate playoff expansion, but that’s another post for another day (and my side has lost that battle).
Because there were 2 Group of 5 teams getting boat-raced, there wasn’t much of note from the weekend on the message boards. We still came up with a few doozies. Let’s start today’s trip in Norman where the ghosts of Coach Bryant and Coach Wilkinson are spinning in their graves.
83 rushing yards … combined. Alabama flipped the script on Oklahoma by being terrible on offense but taking advantage of a defensive TD and special teams blunders to beat the Sooners in the rematch. The first half meltdown of the Bammer fan base was glorious to watch, and then Mateer throws the pick 6. I don’t know if Bama suckered Mateer into a bad decision or a receiver missed a signal, but it was horrible.
Oklahoma was wearing “Hard to Kill” (thanks, Kirby) shirts on the sideline, but Alabama once again proves you have to drive a stake through their heart when you have them down.
Bama now goes on to Pasadena to take on top-ranked Indiana. The Hoosiers should be on high upset alert.
Let’s move over to College Station as the Aggies quietly depart the CFP in Texas 8&4 fashion.
3 points on your home field? The vaunted TAMU defense gives up 175 yards rushing? -2 turnover margin?
Here might be the play that turned the game.
How do you give up 10 yards of field position on a perfect pooch punt from plus territory? I can imagine Kirby would blow a gasket for something like that. Then you give up a 56 yard run on the next play.
Hidden yardage gets teams beat.
Is Mike Elko a great coach? No. Is he a pretty good one? Yes.
How do Texas and Texas A&M fans feel today about Texas Tech being the only school left standing? I can only imagine.
We’re going to end our trip today by stopping off to check in on a fan base whose season is over. South Bend, Indiana.
Has there been a more obnoxious fan base on social media the last 2 weeks than this bunch of entitled crybabies? There was constant complaining on Friday and Saturday that the Irish would beat any of the 4 teams by 50 if they had just been given a chance.
These are the Yankees that Lewis Grizzard was talking about when he said, “Don’t come here and tell us how you do it in Cleveland. Delta is ready when you are.” You lost to the 2 teams on your schedule that made the playoff. You didn’t have a 13th data point like 1 other team. You had no quality win like the last of the 4.
You were as flawed as the others. Join a conference. I really do hope the other schools outside the ACC tell ND to pound sand on scheduling now.
That’s what I saw. Give me your thoughts in the comments.
The weekend that was at Message Board Geniuses – Championship Weekend edition
Frankly, Championship Weekend wasn’t chaotic other than the impact of the World’s Smallest Outdoor Cocktail Party on the make-up of the final 12. Indiana, Miami and James Madison ended up as the big winners while one team that was at home not playing clearly ended up as the biggest loser. The message boards didn’t disappoint as a result.
Let’s start this week in Jerry World where the Cougar faithful still have a delusion they are playoff worthy after being smoked twice by Texas Tech.
BYU lost worse on Saturday afternoon than they did in Lubbock earlier in the season. -4 turnover margin and a total of 200 yards of total offense? They’re lucky the beatdown wasn’t worse. To then turn around and say you’re more deserving/qualified than Notre Dame and Miami just says you truly are a message board genius.
For the other side of the coin, Texas Tech has played no one. Yesterday was the most I’ve seen of them. They looked like TCU in 2022. I’m calling it now Oregon is going to manhandle them in Miami.
Let’s move on up to South Bend to check on the crybabies of Notre Dame.
I don’t know if Notre Dame should have gotten selected or not. Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive expressed my thoughts on this:
They lost the 2 games they played against teams that ended up in the playoff. They didn’t have a 13th “data point” this weekend to remove all doubt by winning a conference title. These geniuses predicted it:
Notre Dame flips off the rest of college football because they didn’t get an at-large spot they believe they are entitled to. They decide to give up the 15 bowl practices and end their season rather than finish the season.
I lost a bunch of respect Marcus Freeman earned from this Dawg fan from his defense at Cincinnati and his job last year in New Orleans. I can’t imagine Kirby pulling a stunt like this.
Let’s jump over to Indianapolis to check the temperature of the most obnoxious fans in sports, the Ohio State Buckeyes.
The Buckeyes get beaten by Indiana to break a 30 game winning streak, and the Buckeyes fall all the way to #2. That fan base has a love/hate relationship with the Just for Men spokescoach. I watched a little of the game last night and saw enough to know neither team scares me if we show up with bad intentions in a semifinal or in the final.
I’m sure this genius will talk about this Ohio State as the best team of all time if they happen to win it all.
Let’s finish this week’s trip in the ATL where the Dawgs vanquish Alabama in a situation that hasn’t been kind in the past.
F-bum is likely to be golden later today if geniuses like this call in. I saw so much Bammer bravado on X in the run-up to the game. Any Bammer who would rather lose to Auburn to fire a coach ain’t a Bama fan at all.
Another Bammer whiner is probably now talking about they are going to take Indiana out.
Maybe someone needs to tell this guy that Alabama has scored a total of 7 points in the last 6 quarters against the Georgia defense. I don’t think they want any part of a 3rd time around with us. If we saw them in Miami in the championship game, my prediction for the Bammers would be pain
Seeing the Bammers this broken makes this Dawg smile. Now we need to go to Tuscaloosa next year and drive a stake through the heart of the Bama program.
Let’s stop off to check in on the nerds of North Avenue after the Dawgs sucked the souls out of Alabama:
The Jacketasses can only live vicariously through the programs that are our equal. I hope we have 3 more chances to suck the life out of every one of Dr. Pimple Popper’s clients in West Midtown as we go on this playoff run.
Let’s take some lessons from the Cleveland Indians over the next month:
What did you see this weekend? Let us know in the comments.
The weekend that was at Message Board Geniuses – Rivalry Week edition
This feature took last week off because there was really nothing on the field to report, but this weekend got the message boards lit up. We’ll start today’s trip where we normally end it … to check in on the most obnoxious for no apparent reason fan base in sports. How is it going at the North Avenue Trade School after their 3rd moral victory in a row over the Dawgs?
This Booby Dudd like nerd’s response to the game on Friday was on a thread regarding whether they should keep playing Georgia. The copium being taken in west midtown Atlanta in the CFB landscape since the game is some of the most potent I’ve seen.
On the field, the defensive front took the Jacketasses behind the woodshed for 60 minutes. Other than the pass off the goal line after a blatant missed intentional grounding call that should have resulted in a safety, the vaunted Buster Faulkner/Haynes King offense was in a UFC choke hold for much of the game.
Here’s a different sports analogy for you from Brooks Austin:
If the offense had done anything of note, we could have witnessed a beatdown of epic proportions in MBS. Alas, that gives us something to worry about for Saturday as if Bama wasn’t enough.
Let’s move on to Austin to check in on the formerly undefeated Texas AgCult after their faceplant in Austin in the Lone Star Showdown (or whatever they call it).
Speaking of copium, a lot of that seems to have been smoked by this genius from Aggieland. Did this guy watch his team fall behind at home to South Carolina 30-3 a couple of weeks ago? The 12th Man played with fire multiple times during this season and got burned badly by their big brother on Friday night. Marcel Reed made the Archduke look like Peyton and Eli rolled up into one. Someone (cough, cough … Notre Dame … cough, cough) at the bottom of the first round bracket is probably drooling at the thought of going to Kyle Field.
Let’s move on to East Tennessee to check on the fan base that can’t say they run this state for the next year.
Powered by a 24-3 2nd half, Vanderbilt sends the Vol faithful to the exits to the tune of a 21 point whipping in Kneeland. That’s still not likely to be good enough to earn a playoff spot, but Clark Lea should be national coach of the year for doing something never done in the history of the traditional SEC Dore-mat football program.
All of this and they lost the turnover margin -2. Oh, my.
Enjoy your trip to Orlando, Commodores. On the other hand, let’s welcome Bobby Hill to the hottest seat in the SEC entering 2026, and enjoy your trip to Charlotte or Nashville in December.
Let’s end today’s trip in Oxford where a fan base should be looking forward to being a dangerous team in the CFP but, instead, is looking at a program holding on after being stung by a scorpion in the middle of the river (if you don’t get that reference, read my post from yesterday).
The first genius needs to calm down and step away from the ledge. The second genius doesn’t understand this decision likely wasn’t about money.
“No wrath like a fan base scorned.” I have no problem with Kiffin’s decision to leave even at this time. I have a big problem with his desire to do it on his terms and his apparent decision to go scorched earth on his way out as a result of not getting his way. His decision (likely with Jimmy Sexton’s blessing) to attempt to play the victim with his social media post announcing his departure should be insulting to the Rebel faithful who supported his NIL needs to build a transfer-laden roster. If Dooley had left for Auburn in 1980 during the season, I would have been apoplectic as a teenage fan.
I would love to see whether the Cane’s locations in Oxford see a drop in business as a result of all of this or if they try to do anything to buy off the Ole Miss athletic department.
What did you see this weekend? Let us know in the comments.
Cry harder, Shorthorns
I’m going to just leave this here.
Poor Texas fans abused in Athens … just like your team was.
So soft.
The weekend that was at Message Board Geniuses – week 12 edition
This weekend saw one team virtually eliminated from the playoff race while a rival that team beat convincingly keeps its playoff hopes alive with a big victory on the road. The message boards were lighting up all over the place. Let’s start out today’s trip in Louisville to check on the temperature of the Greater Anderson Cow College fan base.
Clemson wins a game, and it pisses off a portion of the fan base. I’m guessing Dabo isn’t going anywhere unless he decides to do it. I don’t see Clemson joining the coaching carousel fray voluntarily at this point in this season unless major donors force their hand. Clemson lost the game everywhere except on the scoreboard (the one place that matters).
The Tyler from Spartanburg segment of the fan base clearly believes that championships are their birthright. They forget that Dabo brought them that success (and expectation) and that there used to be a thing called Clemsoning.
I don’t care what Clemson does, but I am here to watch the fallout.
Let‘s move on to College Station to see the smoking crater that is the South Carolina football program following the biggest choke job you’re going to see.
Clemson lost the first game in program history when scoring 45 or more points a couple of weeks ago at home against the University of New Jersey at Durham. South Carolina says, “Hold my beer, Tiggers” by breaking a 286 game SEC winning streak since 2004 when leading by 27+. Ouch.
I’m here for the chaos in the Palmetto State. The only thing South Carolina has to play for is to ruin the remainder of Clemson’s season in Columbia.
Let’s move on to Tuscaloosa to check on the Bammers after their most recent loss to Oklahoma.
Bammers can’t decide if DeBoer is the genius that holds the key to success against Georgia or if he’s a bumbling fool from the West Coast who doesn’t get it. The Sooners get a blocked field goal, a pick 6 and 2 more turnovers while only generating 212 yards of offense themselves. Bama still controls their own destiny to get to Atlanta with a win at Jordan-Hare in the Iron Bowl. F-bum is going to be glorious on Monday with the Bammer whining and the Georgia gloating.
Let’s move on to Oxford as the Rebel fan base wants closure on Kiffin’s decision one way or another.
The Handbags are officially “there’s no place like home for the holidays” after Saturday’s loss to Ole Miss in Oxford (snicker). The majority of Rebel fans want Lane to stay in Oxford, and Lane said he loves Ole Miss after the game.
I still don’t think he wants to leave to take a higher pressure job in an inferior location (Baton Rouge or Hogtown). The media and the airplane watchers are going to be watching what happens over the next week as Ole Miss starts its preparation for the Egg Bowl.
Let’s end today’s trip in the Classic City after the Dawgs flex their muscles against Texas again.
Why can’t we bottle what we show against Texas to use against another opponent (cough, cough … Alabama … cough, cough)? After the Dawgs bowed up to force a field goal on the game’s first possession, the defense really allowed nothing except when put on a short field after the 3rd quarter interception.
Gunner Stockton > Arch Manning. I don’t think there’s much more to say than that.
On any remaining debate of Kirby vs. Sark, I’ll let a good follow on Dawg X who commented frequently at GTP summarize it for you:
While we’re on the topic of the win in Athens, let’s look in on the nerds’ take on Saturday night.
Talk about not being a ball-knower in this situation. I guess when it takes a last second field goal to beat a (checks notes) 1-win Boston College team, all you can do is to take a shot at your rival. Black Friday is coming, nerds. You’re going to get our best shot since we’re not likely to be in the SEC championship game. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
What did you see this weekend? Let us know in the comments.
The weekend that was at Message Board Geniuses – week 10 edition
With the number of firings at this point in the regular season, the message boards were a little calmer than normal, but we did see some meltdowns. I’m here to share the ones I think are genius worthy.
Let’s start out in Columbia West as Missouri is rapidly heading to meaningless bowl game status.
Missouri gets boat-raced by Texas A&M on Saturday afternoon. It’s hard to blame the loss on anything but really bad injury luck as Matt Zollars gets his first start and looks like a true freshman. Drinkwitz made a Kirby Smart Sugar Bowl type of error late in the 2nd quarter. Down 7-0, 3rd and 10 on the Mizz 42 with less than a minute to go in the half, Missouri can go to the half down 7 and getting the ball to start the 3rd. Zollars fumbles on a 14 yard sack, and A&M runs it back to the 2. The game was virtually over at that point.
Let’s move on to Nashville to check in on the coaching search in Greater Opelika.
I’m not guessing a certain coach in Athens and one in Tuscaloosa are shaking in their boots of Tulane’s coach finding his way to the Alabama Cow College. The reason I posted this is the Sun Belt Billy effect on SEC fan bases. No one at the “upper tier” of the league wants to be the next hiring a Group of 5 coach into the rough and tumble environment on the SEC.
On the game, Auburn loses again. This time their defense gives up 500 plus yards, and they blow a 4th quarter lead. Cam Coleman goes off in his potential audition for the transfer portal.
Let’s move on to check in on the latest on the Handbags.
North central jort-wearing Handbags making comments about others’ questionable sexual behavior with close relatives is priceless. Georgia beats Florida twice as the Gators throw in the towel on the season. DJ Lagway was finally benched after throwing 3 more interceptions. The Gators average less than 3 yards per play and give up 400 yards.
At this point, Gator fans are going to be singing, “There’s no place like home for the holidays” unless they win their last 3 games. Let’s move on to the Upstate to check in on the Tribe.
Florida State takes it on the chin at Clemson 24-10. The Florida-FSU game is likely to be as entertaining as Clemson-South Carolina at this point. I assume Florida State doesn’t want and/or can’t afford to join the coaching carousel.
How did this Florida State team beat Alabama?
How did the same Clemson team that gave up 46 to Duke absolutely stymie the FSU offense?
Let’s end this week’s trip in Starkville.
I don’t like putting Georgia here. The beginning of the game was bad on defense, and I’m glad it wasn’t a harbinger for the remainder of the game. The offense was clicking from the start even with the unfortunate turnover on the goal line on the 2nd possession. A segment of our fan base isn’t going to be happy unless we put a TCU or FSU whipping on every one of our opponents.
To Queefus, Kirby is never going to fire an assistant midseason without a darn good reason (likely off the field). Just stop.
What did you see this weekend? Let us know in the comments.
The weekend that was at MBG – week 10 edition
I admit I was going to go full Lewis Grizzard and do this in this space if the outcome yesterday had been different.
Thankfully, it wasn’t, and I have an opportunity to take us on a tour of the message board universe. We saw at least one team eliminated from CFP contention, a lot of pain inflicted on our main rivals and a program with a delusion.
Let’s start today’s trip in Baton Rouge to check in on the Corn Dogs’ coaching search.
If Nick Saban wanted to coach in the NIL and transfer portal era, he would have stayed in Tuscaloosa until he collapsed in his office. He looks very happy to be doing media, enjoying his ability to play golf, and living the high life after a successful coaching career.
Cajuns, Nick Saban isn’t coming back to save you from your governor’s decision to choose the next LSU football coach. He’s 74 (yes, a young 74). No way does he have the ability to look a recruit (and family) in the eye and say he’ll be a coach for 4 or 5 years at this point.
For all of those fan bases who believe Saban is coming back to save them, just stop.
Let’s move on to check in on Coach Amazon Prime in Boulder.
Colorado gets absolutely smashed in Boulder by Arizona. 5 turnovers and fewer than 300 yards of offense (3 turnovers of which led to extremely short fields for touchdowns) will get you run out of the stadium. The Wildcats led 38-7 at the half and played like Ralphie running over the Buffs.
I don’t know if Deion can be a successful head coach long-term. His formula isn’t working and probably isn’t going to work to make Colorado competitive. I wonder how happy Juju Lewis is in Boulder right now.
Let’s head to Dallas to see how the week 3 national champions are faring.
The Hurricanes are down bad after their 2nd loss to an unranked ACC opponent. Carson Beck throws 2 interceptions including a backbreaking pick on the goal line in overtime. Miami’s defense gives up 365 yards passing as Kevin Jennings takes care of the ball and engineers a 2:00 drive for the tying field goal aided by unnecessary roughness penalty.
Miami probably has to win out including the ACC championship game to be in the field of 12 at this point. Does Cristobal get blown out if that doesn’t happen? Coach Oeaux in Coral Gables would be a clash of cultures.
Let’s head to Greater Opelika to say “Thanks for the memories” to Hugh Freeze.
To those who believe #FireEverybody is the answer to your football program’s problems, Auburn should be the cautionary tale. Lather, rinse, repeat, War Tiglesmen. Your job is 3rd best of the conference’s open positions by a large margin. You have to convince someone that they can be successful being squeezed between 2 of the current giants of the sport while your past advantage (cough, cough … Auburn boosters … cough, cough) doesn’t matter any more. How quickly does Cam Coleman go into the portal with plans to play in Tuscaloosa?
I wondered if this was fake news. If not, this is pretty incredible. If Hugh was playing golf every Sunday in season, that’s a bad look, and I believe these guys should have a life.
Let’s move on to the Upstate of South Carolina for another update on the Greater Anderson Cow College.
Fun fact: Yesterday’s loss to Duke was the first time in 129 years of football that Clemson has lost when scoring more than 45 points. (134-1 now) Ouch. For the IPTAY crowd that loved Dabo for doing things the right way and looked down on the rest of college football, it sucks to be you now. Georgia broke Clemson in Charlotte on the night of September 4, 2021, and smashed them in Atlanta on August 31, 2024.
Can Clemson afford to fire Swinney or encourage him to find a new employer? Do they want to jump into a football coach hiring frenzy that already has LSU, Florida, Penn State and Auburn looking?
Sorry, Clive, but I’m guessing Dabo will be on the sidelines when Clemson goes to the Bayou in 2026.
Let’s move over to East Tennessee to check in on the fan base and team playing Halloween dress-up in a CFP elimination game.
Bobby Hill and the Vols likely save Brent Venables job with a loss on Rocky Top. Tennessee’s lines of scrimmage get dominated giving up 192 yards while gaining only 63 on the ground. Joey Aguilar’s 2 picks were both bad. One took points off the board for Tennessee, and the other enabled Oklahoma to steal 3 points right before the half.
Those 2 picks eventually led to the winning margin.
We’re going to take a short stop in Jacksonville to check on the geniuses of the UGA message boards.
This team keeps finding ways to melt down the fan base. This time it was a couple of explosive plays allowed by the defense while the offense sputtered for portions of the first 3 quarters. The first TD was the result of a poor punt leading to a short field and then a blown coverage. The field goal was the result of a turnover and then another blown coverage on a short field. The 3rd quarter was generally garbage.
I would love for this team to come out and blow people out. This team isn’t that right now, guys.
Sad, pathetic and soft aren’t words I would use to describe a team that has fought in every game for 4 quarters.
Let’s wrap up today’s trip on Tobacco Road to check in on America’s darlings, the Nerds of the North Avenue Trade School.
StinkTalk is probably saying how great they are because a 4-4 team rushed the field after beating them. Alas, since their board is blocked, we won’t know. I’m here for you to find other sources of amusement.
While no one cares enough about the other nerd boards to send any #MeltdownAlert posts to MBG, this post encapsulates their team. With Clemson’s implosion, they haven’t beaten anybody with a pulse and almost lost to Wake Forest who allowed FSU to break their ACC losing streak yesterday in Tallahassee by the score of 42-7.
NC State lost to Duke by 12, Virginia Tech by 2, Notre Dame by 29 and Pitt by 19. NC State’s offense then pistol-whipped the Jacketasses’ defense to the tune of 583 yards of total offense including 243 on the ground.
I’m sure Kirby is licking his chops over what much better athletes are going to do on a fast track in MBS against their defense.
That’s what I saw this weekend. Let us know your thoughts in the comments.