Your Sunday Reminder That Auburn (and Tennessee) Sucks

Allow this to be your sacrilegious Sunday hating post.

You hate to see it, right?

Meanwhile, up the road a ways, the other Everything School in the SEC just lost another SEC series to their in-state rivals.

I’ll be cheering loudly for Michigan today in hopes that Tennessee is locked out of yet another Final Four, too. And no worries, Hillbillies…you’ll probably have your championship winning coach back next year the way the season is starting off for San Francisco.

FTMFs.

If Only We Had More Pro Players, We Would’ve Won

Folks, this is Alabama sports in a nutshell:

If only we could bring back Chubb, Michel, Dean, and Roquan, we could’ve beaten Ole Miss.

Whatever, Bammers.

Your 3/27/2026 Reminder That Auburn Sucks: Final Fours

People, this is a real thing. When folks ask me about a bizarre happening in my life, I ask them, “could I make this shit up”? In this case, I can’t:

Yayyyy. We earned a participation prize.

That toilet paper usually is smeared with feces, so it’s only fitting that they adorn their campus with it whenever they accomplish the most middling or made up things.

And here I was thinking only Mr. Rodgers has a land of make believe in their house.

Shocker.

Hogtown Snub

I’ve gotten a kick out of following this the past couple of weeks.

Now, if you’re wondering “JP, why didn’t you share this with us?”, it’s because I find it to be a flawed exercise.

What really, really horrible fan base is missing from this? Yes, Notre Dame, Ohio State, Alabama, and Tennessee are all insufferable.

But a poll like this that excludes the jorts-wearing jerks of North Florida cannot be a serious poll. There are at least half of the teams listed on this that couldn’t sniff Florida’s Busch Lite soaked jock, and I find it to be an egregious an outrageous denial of having a national poll prove that Florida, in fact, possesses the worst fan base in the nation.

I did vote for Ohio State, though. They really are up there with the Gators and the Hillbillies.

How would you have voted?

Pine Box Politics: Your 3/26/2026 Reminder that Auburn Still, Factually, Sucks

Shot:

Chaser:

To be fair, Tuberville did sit out a year after Auburn before taking the Texas Tech job in 2010, but didn’t sit out when he abruptly left there to go to Cincinnati in 2012. While Pearl has aspirations as a politician and Tuberville currently is one, I’m not sure that former Auburn coaches really need to be weighing in on NIL, the Portal, or probably even politics.

As always, Auburn sucks.

WABAC Game Day Reveal – We Crushed Their Face

Many of you nailed it, so at least the description was accurate this time around. Yep, it was the game that gave us hope that the new head coach and former offensive coordinator from Florida State was going to be able to turn the program around.

Of course, when they threw the screen pass and scored with under a minute to go, I just threw my hands up and said “there we go”. I always used to say that each week it was Georgia’s job to find a new and inventive manner in which to lose a football game. It felt like a 90s remix, of sorts.

But then it happened, P-44 Haynes. And so started the legend of Mark Richt. Breaking the Tennessee curse was one part of the formula for Richt, the other would be beating Florida. Not quite as successful in that department as Kirby has been, but in 2002 there was another moment that started to make me believe that we weren’t going to be Clemsoning in Athens anymore.

And, for once, we got to see what it was like to witness Hillbilly tears as their hearts were ripped from the hunter orange chests. Glorious.

It was definitely a turn in the right direction. We dropped four games on the season in 2001, to USCe, Auburn, and Florida, and concluded with a loss to Boston College in the Music City Bowl. 2002 would result in a lone loss to Florida and an SEC Championship, and a win over Richt’s mentor against FSU in the Sugar Bowl, which we hadn’t been to since the loss to Penn State to conclude the 1982 season.

I’d also like to point out what a roster of studs we had on the 2001 team, which I had somewhat forgotten until I watched the replay:

RB – Verron Haynes, Musa Smith, and Jasper Sanks

WR – Terrence Edwards, Damien Gary, Fred Gibson, Reggie Brown

TE – Randy McMichael and Benjamin Watson

OL – Jon Stinchcomb, Kevin Breedlove, George Foster, Alex Jackson, Curt McGill

DL – Charles Grant, David Pollack, David Jacobs, Jonathan Sullivan

LB – Boss Bailey, Tony Gilbert, Will Witherspoon

DB – Tim Wansley, Bruce Thornton, Jermaine Phillips, Terreal Bierria, Decory Bryant, Sean Jones

K – Billy Bennett

What a squad of future pros and a great collection of DGDs for Richt to launch his head coaching career.

Spring Has Stung

Brent Key has a feel.

I’m not sure he’s talking about the loss to Georgia, the inexplicable late fumbling of a sure ACC Conference Championship berth, or the loss to BYU in the Pop Tarts Bowl.

Either way, if it’s the first, me thinks Brent is still going to be pissed off at Spring practice #1 in 2027, too. I mean, we even moved to a whole other venue for them and they still got owned. Maybe in 2027 they can play COFH in Jacksonville.

Wait. Wait.

Make that Center Parc Stadium. Where’s a place Georgia hasn’t played lately that they haven’t owned in a while?

Maybe the Superdome would work better for the Techies. (Pain as I say that).

Lewis, Larry…Y’all Go Find Me a Baseball Bat

Well this came across my Twitter feed yesterday.

From The Senator himself, Penn Wagers is Real and He’s Ridiculous:

I’m not about to stoop to blaming yesterday’s loss on the officiating – you don’t play sixty minutes of consistent football against a team on a roll like Auburn is, you generally don’t win – but as far as I’m concerned this is beyond the pale when you’re talking about how a SEC official should behave during a game:

Wagers steps into an argument with Richt, which is bad, but then steps back into it after Richt turns away to continue complaining, admittedly in a heated way, to another official.  The sense of satisfaction when Wagers throws the flag is almost palpable.  It’s also inexcusable.  It’s supposed to be the official’s responsibility to calm the waters, not to stir them even more.  Well, at least if you’re referring to competent officials, it is.

Now I’ll be the first to say I’m not reveling in another’s passing. I’m also admitting since I can’t see any news reports about this outside of Twix, so this could be parody or a hoax.

But I haven’t thought about Penn Wagers’ name in quite some time.

And that’s not a bad thing.

The Everything School is Coming

Happily welcoming Tennessee to Athens this Friday to start conference play.

Tennessee dropped one to Wright State on Sunday, which also is the team that beat the Diamond Dawgs during their opening three game series to start the season. To say the least, the Hillbillies aren’t taking the post-Vitello era in stride. Just peep the comments on this Twix.

Let’s make the pitching clean and feed the trees, the gaps, and sh*t-posting this weekend in Athens.

Louisville Sluggers

College sports, and the once, long-held belief that NCAA needed to do all it could do to preserve the spirit of amateurism in the sports, seems to be in peril. As more Indiana stories being to pop up, and as Texas schools push football funding into the $40 million dollar plus range, something needs to change. Recently, Iowa State decided to abandon their gymnastics program due to increasing funding needs for other high-revenue sports (when even Title IX can’t save things, it’s a problem), and the teachers and staff at Kansas are making headlines regarding their low pay and funding deficits while the University finds way to revenue share with athletes through student funds and reserves:

Oddly enough, the folks who are attempting to step in and fix things are in Louisville, where a group is arguing that college sports is going to dissolve into a class system of the haves and have nots, and that extends beyond NIL and championships, but the loss of college sports altogether.

Benz is the Louisville Board Chair, and he proposes that three things need to happen in order to save college sports:

  • A governing body that can actually regulate and manage college sports (NCAA, clearly you’ve lost control of this)
  • An NIL spending cap similar to salary caps in the NFL
  • An act of congress. Seriously.

From the Groups’ From the Arena, Not the Sidelines: College Athletics is Running Out of Time:

Yet despite generating more than a billion dollars a year in economic impact, Louisville’s athletic department — like most programs nationwide — operates in the red. Our current athletic budget reflects expenditures of approximately $167.4 million against revenues of $154.9 million, a deficit of $12.5 million. That gap is projected to widen significantly under the House v. NCAA settlement, which has added an additional $20.5 million in new direct athlete compensation obligations.

To bridge these shortfalls, Louisville has relied on a $12 million institutional subsidy, a $200-per-student athletic fee and a $25 million line of credit. Reserves that once stood at $34 million have been drawn down to approximately $3.4 million. These are not signs of mismanagement; they are symptoms of a structural problem that no single institution can solve on its own. Louisville’s situation is not the exception — it is the rule. Across the country, from the wealthiest programs in the nation to those fighting simply to stay afloat, the financial picture is remarkably and alarmingly similar.

The full scope of the crisis runs deeper than those opening figures suggest. Ohio State’s $37.7 million deficit came despite generating nearly $255 million in revenue, and its outgoing athletic director acknowledged going “berserk” with spending to chase a title — the university’s actual FY2025 spending subsequently came in at $320 million, the highest in college athletics history.2 Rutgers’ $516.9 million in accumulated losses since joining the Big Ten in 2014 reflects spending that has surged 175 percent in eleven years, with its new athletic director projecting expenditures exceeding $200 million in the current fiscal year — before a single dollar of House settlement revenue-sharing is factored in.3 Penn State closed FY2025 with $534.7 million in athletics-related debt — more than tripling the prior year — driven largely by the $700 million renovation of Beaver Stadium.4 Florida State’s $437 million debt represents a $200 million increase in a single fiscal cycle.5 The University of Texas set a new national record with $375.9 million in operating expenses in FY2025 — a $50 million jump over its own previous record — while carrying $192.2 million in athletics-related debt.6 Even Colorado, buoyed by renewed fan enthusiasm, projects a $27 million department deficit for FY2026 driven primarily by the $20.5 million revenue-sharing cap under the House settlement and a near-doubling of head football coach Deion Sanders’ salary.

I only highlight the statements in the third paragraph to point out the return on investment. Ohio State bet the farm – and it worked – winning a national title while simultaneously becoming the whipping post for college football purists who saw Ohio State as “buying a championship”. Ditto Indiana, and Michigan is bemoaned because of Harbaugh and cheating – not just athletically but apparently everywhere else in the moral world of man, as well.

Texas set a record and promptly laid an egg, not even making the CFP. Florida State should be forced to shutter their football program with that kind of deficit on principle alone. And who thought it wise to double Deion Sanders’ salary?

Not only is the spending in the modern era perverse, but it’s being done recklessly and without consideration of investment and risk. Anyone in their right mind who looks at the train wreck that is Colorado Football and thinks “this is fine” needs to be jailed for life. Coaches are getting European soccer star salaries with guaranteed contracts only to become collective billionaires with the combined buyouts…for failing.

Could you only imagine the furor that would’ve occurred if Richt’s years at Georgia and the requests for improved facilities were denied because the AA was still paying the contracts buyouts for Goff and Donnan? Additionally, where the hell is all this money coming from and who is crazy enough to finance it? Go get the brightest, shiniest toys and make life meaningful again by making my alma mater or favorite team competitive again? And given there can only be one champion, most of the investment is fruitless and doesn’t achieve the results that are desired (see: Texas Tech, Oregon, Texas, etc…).

And to what other end as it pertains to entertainment? Is the quality of the sport improved? Would we be just as intrigued without the ESPN hype if we watched a “lower tier” version of college football on Saturdays that featured “traditional” college football teams that were free from NIL? I find the quality of football watching the FCS playoffs to be just as fun to watch as a football purist, but it’s not getting the same level of marketing from Mickey, because, you know, money.

While I, too, tired of always seeing Alabama, Ohio State, and Clemson in the consideration for a decade, we’ve swung the pendulum to the other side where we’re now thinking “where the hell did Indiana come from” and “Ryan Day? Seriously?”. Neither are necessarily desirable, but both teams in the National Championship this year was made of a patchwork of college football mercenaries for hire so patchwork that it could compete with a crazy woman’s quilt.

Meanwhile, whole states or programs that don’t benefit from an injection from rich alumni (see: South Carolina sports) or tons of money from alumni are going to become irrelevant, if not fossils of an age of sports gone by. I made a post last year

I’m rooting for Louisville here. I hope they can actually gain some traction on this, but my guess is this won’t make the headlines on the ESPN app or anywhere else because money talks.

Tradition walks.