Tag Archives: #fireeverybody

The weekend that was at Message Board Geniuses – week 13

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When fans say they didn’t want to be in the conference championship game, they are just using that as copium to save themselves from the pain of not playing for the crown. Add Alabama and Ole Miss fans to that list.

Yesterday was glorious to this Dawg fan. The meltdowns on other schools’ message boards made me smile.

Let’s start today’s trip in Norman to check in on the Crimson Tide.

Bammers haven’t made a Mike Shula reference since Saban lost to UL Monroe. Watching Alabama get gashed over and over against by a running quarterback while their dual-threat quarterback looked absolutely terrible was a sight for these tired of Alabama sore eyes. Kalen DeBoer looks totally out of his element at this point. How did we lose to this bunch this year?

Let’s move on to Hogtown for a reason I never saw coming.

Lane Kiffen and Ole Miss likely faceplant themselves right out of the CFP unless some really weird stuff happens over the next 2 weeks. I didn’t see much of the game due to the Georgia game being played at the same time, but the fact that Florida held that offense to under 20 points was hard to believe and hard to watch for northern Mississippians. The Egg Bowl is back to what it’s known for … a hate-fest of 2 schools no one else thinks about until they play each other instead of a CFP qualification game.

Assuming Ole Miss doesn’t get into the back end of the CFP field, I wonder if this team of NIL transfers will have enough players to suit up in Houston or Memphis.

Let’s move on to Greater Opelika to see how the 3rd SEC upset victim is doing.

Weird stuff happens every year in Jordan-Hare. Auburn gets a big lead on Texas A&M and then blows that lead. A kicker that’s only there because Birmingham Southern closed its doors as a university ties the game with a field goal. Auburn wins the game on 2-point conversion try (the equivalent of a soccer or hockey shootout), and the Auburn crowd storms the field over beating the (checks the rankings) 15th ranked team in the country.

I guess Texas A&M really was focused on Texas all week last week.

Unpopular opinion … Something has to be done about the college overtime rule. It’s not football.

Let’s end today trip to check on the roadkill that is Indiana after being taken behind the ‘Shoe by Ohio State.

Indiana faces a team with a pulse and gets slapped back to reality by the Just for Men spokescoach and the best team money can buy. For those of you who are betting men, I hope you cleaned out the sports books who believed the Hoosiers could keep it relatively close with Ohio State.

In the meantime, the Florida State village idiot/genius poked his head out after the game to give us his insightful analysis:

Other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?

That’s what I saw this weekend. Let us know your thoughts below.

The weekend that was at Message Board Geniuses – week 11

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At least we didn’t lose by not taking a knee

Chaos at the top of the rankings this week as a couple of teams lay major eggs on the road highlight this week’s trip around the message board universe. Let’s start today at historic Richt-Smart Field at Vince Dooley Stadium.

Sorry, Jetpack is still not working right.

Miami is supposed to be the team giving the nerds a wedgie. Instead, the Hurricanes get punched in the mouth over and over again showing they definitely had a glass jaw. I hate to say it, but the head nerd has his team playing hard and physical. Haynes King and the Jacketasses’ running game have me worried about Black Friday night.

The Canes have played with fire all year long, and Saturday afternoon they couldn’t get it done. Regardless, Miami is still in control of their own destiny.

We head over to Oxford for the abomination that happened yesterday afternoon.

I had to hold it together last night as we had people over during the game. I’ve seen Georgia teams under Kirby get beat soundly, but I haven’t seen a team look like they wanted to get out of the stadium like we did last night since 2016. I have no idea what the solution is, but I have a damn good idea what the problem is. This team has a QB who has regressed significantly, a lack of player leadership on both sides of the ball, and inconsistent line play. Ole Miss exploited all of those on Saturday and flat out whipped us on the line of scrimmage.

It was bad enough yesterday that I took the Dawgs off my Mumme Poll ballot as a result. If I’m the only one, you’ll know who did it.

Let’s make the trip down to Austin to check in on the Handbags during their total collapse.

Change all of the reference to South Carolina and Gamecocks, and you’ll get the degree of delusion in the mind of this genius. I think this guy had one too many Natty Lights combined with meth and the fumes from the Hogtown tire fire. 35-0 at halftime … they’ve been outscored 63-7 over the last 4 quarters. The Florida-FSU game probably should be on ESPN+ only at this point. Furman-Wofford may be more entertaining at this point on Thanksgiving weekend.

Let’s end this week’s abbreviated trip in the Bayou where the Corn Dogs’ playoff hopes get flattened by the Crimson Tide.

Jalen Milroe goes off on Saturday night as Alabama takes LSU behind Mike’s enclosure for an old-fashioned whipping. Milroe could eventually be Lamar Jackson or Anthony Richardson at the next level. Does someone tell him your professional future is at wide receiver or tight end? I just don’t see him as a passer in a pro style offense.

Give Kalen DeBoer credit. He has retooled to take advantage of Milroe’s strengths and to lean on the defensive talent recruited by Nick Saban.

That’s what I saw this weekend on the message boards. Feel free to chime in with your other thoughts.

The weekend that was at Message Board Geniuses – week 10

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So many places to start our trip around the message board universe this weekend, but we’ll start out at both stops in the Palmetto State.

I guess we’ll be hearing from Clemson players after they beat whomever they play next week that they want Louisville again. The Cardinals go into Death Valley with a rock and pull the Greater Anderson Cow College’s pants down. I really thought Dabo had picked his team up off the mat after the Benz Boatrace and had them poised to give the Almost Competitive Conference a chance at a 2nd CFP bid. All of that came crashing down in a flurry of field goals. I looked at the stats this morning and still don’t understand how Clemson lost.

I’m sure Tyler from Spartanburg is ready to let everyone in the Upstate know how much football he knows this week.

Let’s head down I-185 to the hottest place in the southeast and the weirdness that is Williams-Brice at night.

Texas A&M runs into a buzz saw they never saw coming Saturday night in Columbia as the Poultry downright kick the Aggies’ asses up and down the field at the Dead Cockroach. The performance of the USC defense was incredible to watch as they stopped two 4th and 1 plays and harassed Reid all night. The South Carolina offensive line punched Texas A&M’s defensive line in the mouth time after time, and Rocket Sanders went off as South Carolina ripped off explosive plays by the bunches.

What is it about that place once a year where the Gamecocks punch way above the cock fighting weight?

It’s getting old to continue to go there, but it’s time to check in the geniuses in Greater Opelika.

Auburn gets punked by Vanderbilt, the Alabama state champions as a result of their season sweep of the Alabama schools for the first time since 1955. Assuming Vandy keeps winning Clark Lea should be SEC coach of the year and in the running for national honors. Diego Pavia owns Auburn, Alabama. In the meantime, I’m sure the Voldemort of agents, Jimmy Sexton, is reminding the folks at Auburn what the buyout provisions of his client’s contract are as the Tigers’ football season goes south in a hurry. Auburn has to win out just to be eligible to play in the Birmingham Bowl.

Let’s jet up north to check in on Vanderbilt’s former coach who can’t seem to get a break … even against the Just for Men spokescoach.

Penn State loses their white-out game … again. Talk about overrated fake juice. James Franklin loses another game against a team who can match up with talent. The parts of the game I saw showed how slow and not physical the Nittany Lions are and how average as instant grits Will Howard is as anOSU’s quarterback. While it’s now likely both teams will make the CFP, neither of them should strike fear into any SEC team that happens to line up opposite them.

Let’s keep our Yankee leg of our trip going as we move over to Ann Arbor, the home of the most overrated stadium in the sport.

Can you say living rent free in someone’s heads for the last 3+ years? Michigan fans know their title is the result of cheating plus the fact they didn’t have to see us. Where did the sleazy Kirby Smart touch you, Baba?

Anyway, back to the game, Oregon dissects the Wolverines to give mighty Michigan their 4th loss of the season with 2 potential playoff teams (did I just write that about Indiana?) still left on the schedule. Maybe Michigan will end up somewhere crappy for a bowl game. Conor Stalions is somewhere laughing quietly about that.

Let’s swing back through the Sunshine State to check in on the latest in Tallahassee.

Conquered again … This time by a UNC team that isn’t very good themselves. When fans are talking about firing both coordinators and shaking up the coaching staff, it’s only a matter of time before the axe falls. FSU can’t afford to buy out Norvell’s contract and pay someone to take over, but can they afford to slide back into post-Crab Legs mediocrity as the sport continues to change? The bottom line is FSU has a culture problem, a talent problem and a coaching problem. Do they trust the head of the program to solve all of them? Yikes.

We end our trip this weekend on the banks of the St. Johns River where the Dawgs win and give Sun Belt Billy somewhat of a moral victory.

A double digit victory over your most hated rival and we bitch. I’m not happy with how we played on offense for stretches on Saturday, but this team takes everyone’s best shot and keeps coming. This bunch of geniuses on the 247 message board is exactly why I don’t post much on the game day thread unless there’s something to say rather than something to say in the moment.

The only thing I have to say about yesterday is … stop turning the damn ball over. I’m sure Mike Bobo is coaching Carson Beck to throw into coverage or not to throw the ball away when nothing’s there. When we force teams to drive the length of the field, we generally get off the field. Take advantage of that.

As I wrote yesterday, #15 has cost himself a lot of money as this season goes on, but frankly, I don’t give a damn about that. We have all of our goals still in front of us. Keep winning.

That’s what I saw over the weekend. Let us know what you think in the comments.

PS – I’m happy as hell that we won’t have to watch 3 political commercials at every TV timeout next weekend.

The week that was at Message Board Geniuses – week 7

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Just for Men spokesman Ryan Day

Some upsets, close calls and a smackdown or two await this week’s edition of Message Board Geniuses. Today’s trip starts in Tracktown where everyone’s favorite crybaby lost in his first game this season against an opponent with an active pulse.

https://twitter.com/boardgeniuses/status/1845299142978871507?s=46

The spokesman for Just for Men with his perfectly coiffed hair just can’t catch a break. He has arguably the country’s best freshman plus a team bought and paid for with $20,000,000 of the fan base’s money. I didn’t watch any of the game, but Day’s fan base’s seems to have fully turned on him. I can’t imagine a school firing a coach with 87.5% winning percentage, but the metro Columbus area isn’t exactly stocked with the most reasonable fans. If the collective donors say no, it could get interesting at the end of the season whether the Buckeyes are in the final 12 or not.

We’ll head down I-75 for a double feature from the Senator’s ultimate meteor game … Handbags vs. Hillbillies.

https://twitter.com/boardgeniuses/status/1845296825890136475?s=46
https://twitter.com/boardgeniuses/status/1845267371780452732?s=46

As I mentioned on JP’s post from yesterday, SBB is in over his head in Hogtown and that’s even with his moral victory Saturday night in Kneeland. That series in overtime was downright awful. Will Napier’s last stand be on the banks of the St. Johns River or will he be gone if his team loses in Hogtown on Saturday to Kentucky?

On the other hand, the bloom is rapidly coming off Bobby Hill’s rose, and his quarterback looks like a deer in the headlights at this point. Tennessee’s defense and running game are covering for a lot of the problems Tennessee is having against teams with a partial pulse. Congratulations, Vowels, you get to host the Tide next.

Let’s go out west to check in on Arrogant Nation.

https://twitter.com/boardgeniuses/status/1845512587259105414?s=46

The Men of Troy blow a double digit lead on n a game between the 2 most overrated coaches in the sport. Penn State wins in spite of a -2 turnover margin. Watching the spoiled brat fan base of USC cry about their university leadership as an excuse when all they have to look at is the lack of toughness as exhibited by the beta coach Boy Wonder. Has a coaching star fallen so quickly as Lincoln Riley’s?

Let’s head back south for a look-in on the Gump Geniuses.

https://twitter.com/boardgeniuses/status/1845221938337284198?s=46

Losing to Vandy in Nashville was one thing. Getting pushed to the brink at BDS with a +2 turnover margin by the Poultry was an eye opener. As the weeks go on, I’m glad I didn’t (and still haven’t) watch the Bama game. Is Kaleb DeBoer going to be successful with his style and culture in Tuscaloosa? Maybe, but at this point, I doubt he’s going to get a chance. Anyone who really believes DeBoer was Bama’s first choice probably works in the Bama Pravda media.

Let’s take a trip out to the Texas State Fair to check in on roadkill that appears to be Boomer Sooner.

https://twitter.com/boardgeniuses/status/1845238161045107184?s=46

How did Oklahoma get this bad this fast? They looked horrible in the Red River Shootout (I refuse to use the PC name for the game) as the Texas lines of scrimmage just laid the wood to Oklahoma. Is Brent Venables another great coordinator who just isn’t cut out to be a successful head coach or was his coaching ability masked by the fact he made his career coaching in the Almost Competitive Conference with superior athletes to everyone he went up against. The crucible of the SEC may break the Oklahoma football program.

Let’s end our trip in the Classic City to check in with our group of geniuses.

https://twitter.com/boardgeniuses/status/1845242382603923772?s=46

Good grief. Yes, the interception on the goal line was bad. The tipped ball pick just happens. The rest of the game Beck was totally in control and spread the ball around. It’s damn hard to generate 600 yards of total offense with the new clock rules. If the offense plays like this (without the TOs) in Austin, we’re going to have more than a puncher’s chance on Saturday night … whether we can clean things up on defense is another matter.

That’s what I found entertaining around the message board universe. What did you see this weekend?

Dissecting a Disaster – The Tunnel Screen Interception

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I’m no expert when it comes to football play calling, but one of the many turnovers last night came on what I believe was going to be a great play call. The play in question was called at the line as Beck read the defense, which was showing blitz. Unfortunately, it seems like everyone on the field knew what to do except for Arian Smith.

https://twitter.com/hoodh3ro/status/1840185859041022286?s=46

It’s unfortunate that Arian made the mistake he did, because it looks like it could’ve worked had Arian come underneath Delp and caught the ball. First, note that Alabama brought seven up close, and when the ball is snapped they are bringing the linebackers on the blitz. The offensive line releases left and Delp is pivoting in to seal a block on Arian’s defender.

A half second later and you can see the front seven for Alabama has either gotten caught in the wash or are in the backfield. Delp is there to make the block, we have three offensive linemen coming to make the tunnel. Arian is running what looks to be a skinny post.

There’s not much Delp could do on a quick hitter like this except tackle the Alabama defender, but a half second later and you can see that Arian, provided he caught it, would’ve been going one on one with only two Alabama defenders on the other side of the field.

While I can’t say it would’ve gone for six, it would’ve been a nice gain on a 3rd and long play that caught Alabama off guard. More than likely would’ve gotten a much needed 3rd down conversion. The Alabama defense clearly heard the Saban message to bring heat on Beck and get him rattled, which they did with great effect in the first half. This could’ve been one of those plays that made them back off that a little.

What I can say is, it looks like a good call and a well designed play at the right time against the right defensive set, but one guy made a pivotal mistake.

Two other guys got the blame for it.