Just West of Opelika Lies a Moral High Ground

Here’s your daily reminder that Auburn sucks.

Much to everyone’s delight, Auburn is struggling on the recruiting trail. While Hugh Freeze and company are navigating the new NIL era with the collective competency of a dog that’s been shown a card trick, your eastern Alabaman slack-jawed yokels are summoning the moral superiority of Tommy Tuberville to explain away their troubles.

To be clear, Auburn Einstein is not only a delightful oxymoron, but it’s a troll account. On the other hand, I have to admit as someone who peruses the socials quite a bit that there are many a Barner who believe the above in all seriousness. We are not that far removed from the Cam Newton years and yet Auburn fans are quick to point fingers at other programs (notably Alabama and Georgia, of course) and conveniently forget what bullshittery that was used to get their championship*.

I would say I can’t think of another program more deserving, especially when Florida and Tennessee both exist, but damn it’s fun to watch. Almost like the Righteous Gemstones, except it’s not parody, it’s more like a 30 for 30 documentary.

And to think…Smart was the one who was supposed to be struggling right now.

10 thoughts on “Just West of Opelika Lies a Moral High Ground

  1. Honor and integrity ain’t in the Aw-Barn coloring book dictionary. FTMF

  2. someone send help to auburn einstein and justin… they are so deep in shit that they are being waterboarded and saying stupid shit

  3. If CKS is performing backdoor foolery, underhanded, illegal conversations and tactics during this 2026 crootin’ season, then I don’t wanna’ be right…GO DAWGS!!

  4. In the age of NIL there are 4 kinds of teams:
    (A) Those that attract players with mucho money
    (B) Those that attract players with NFL development
    (C) Those that can do both A and B
    (D) None of the above

    Presently Auburn has taken option D and I’m here for it…

  5. If Auburn was cheating as badly as most believe, they were able to do so by having proof their accusers were cheating just as badly and likely worse. I have read plenty of comments that UGA can’t get a fairly called game against a certain team.

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