The consummate worrier, Larry Munson could make a team like Tennessee Tech sound like a problem for the approaching week. It was part of his mastery, and part of what made listening to games not only a ritual, but a cliff-hanging thriller regardless of the opponent.

So, after two weeks, I’m introducing the Munson Meter to see how the season’s opponents are ranking on the worry meter, starting with the lowest level of worry and working our way to the highest.

Worry Level: Aggravating, like a recurring thought that you’re forgetting to pay a bill somewhere, but have no idea which one it is.

#10 – UMass (0-2), November 23rd – The only thing to worry with this one is a returning Georgia Tech athlete – Taisun Phommachanh, quarterback. Leads the team in rushing, but holds a 119 QB rating and has two losses under his belt. Also a possible flat game, landing between Tennessee and Georgia Tech, where we look uncharacteristically underwhelming. #134 FEI (dead last), #185 Sagarin (Tennessee Tech is 198, for comparison’s sake).

#9 – Mississippi State (1-1), October 12th – The biggest worry here is a team playing with house money and that the game is sandwiched in between homecoming against Auburn and our trip to Austin. We will be in the midst of tough stretch of games, and instead of a cupcake breather we will be faced with a team looking to something to prove. Feels like a Vanderbilt contest, one where you hope we just can win and not get anyone hurt and team focus could be off, but this is Kirby’s Dawgs, not the past. Shapen has thrown 5 TDs and no picks, and has a QB rating close to 200, but the State rushing game is weak and their defense hasn’t been tested by a great offense yet. #63 FEI and #61 Sagarin.

Worry Level: There’s some strange emo kids standing on my lawn every day, and one of them looks like trouble, I tell ya.

#7 (Tie) – Georgia Tech (2-1), November 29th – That Seminole victory is losing its luster by the day as it’s become apparent the Seminoles suck, and upstart Syracuse made Tech look like they stepped back into the Collins days. Maybe not that bad, but they’re in a tie here because you can’t negate a rivalry, and like State, they’ll be likely playing their CFP game against Georgia on 11/29 instead of an actual one, and COFH can’t be underscored. Haynes King is a problem. #51 FEI, #57 Sagarin

#7 (Tie) – Kentucky, (1-1), September 14th – The biggest concern here is that Kentucky will be looking to disprove some things from the egg they laid against Carolina, and that two former Dawgs will be in the team and might know a thing or two about their former team. Kroger Fiels is a tough place to play for some reason, and with an off week looming, it’s hard to say where focus will be, but it’s an SEC opener and Kentucky’s offensive line looks uncharacteristically bad. Or Carolina’s D has gotten that much better (but they squeaked by Old Dominion?). #36 FEI, #40 Sagarin

#6 – Florida (1-1), November 2nd – I was going to put Auburn here, but Napier announced he’s going to work with a two quarterback system, and we know all too well how that shit works out. Unless it’s Greene and Shockley, not well. DJ Lagway looked the part against hapless Samford, but it seems like Billy can’t leave well enough alone and will mix him in with Mertz starting this week. With their schedule, one of the two won’t likely be standing by the WLOCP. FEI #45, Sagarin #38

Worry Level: Take a Xanax and hope it feels better in an hour.

#5 – Auburn (1-1), October 5th – In a way that only Auburn can, they found a way to lose to USC. Shit, I meant UCLA. Wait, no, Cal? Thorne looked like a train wreck and Freeze is giving backup quarterback Hank Brown looks and promises to narrow the playbook to the KISS method, which sounds like they’re abandoning the forward pass. That’s great if you have Herschel Walker, which they don’t. Still, they have talent all over the place, but they’re young. Will being the homecoming cupcake in the schedule piss off the Tigers in this rivalry? Auburn always seems to bring some voodoo with them and they’ll be looking to end a seven game losing streak. #28 FEI, #25 Sagarin

Worry Level: Drinking Begins early Saturday morning of the game.

#4 – Tennessee (2-0), November 16th – It’s Nico season, and the dual-threat quarterback is undefeated in three games as a starter. Two “big” wins (by Tennessee standards) against Iowa and now unranked NC State looks good on paper, until you realize Iowa had no discernible offense and NC State’s OLine was made out of mannequins wrapped in pillows, and it’s apparent this team hasn’t been tested yet. Their offense is humming, but isn’t it always until it doesn’t? History is on Georgia’s side, and getting them last before games against UMass and Tech and these will be a “destination game” for Georgia (get to the finish line) if the Dawgs managed to beat all of the next three teams. FEI #10 (Clemson is 11) and Sagarin #6

#3 Ole Miss (2-0) November 9th – Dart is rolling up massive numbers but it’s against horrible teams and he’s been left playing in the 4th quarter of games, and the defense, while much improved, has a defensive FEI of 30 where Clemson currently holds a DFEI of 8. While the offense can score, it’s another story altogether when they face a great defense that has an offense with a pulse. Still, this will be a big game in a visitor’s home stadium, and the Ole Miss faithful will be well liquidated in what could be the feature night game and possibly hosting the Gameday gaggle of idiots, to boot. FEI #13, Sagarin #5

Worry Level: Start drinking immediately, repent sins, consider sending the family away for the weekend. Might want to lock away the firearms and anything that serves as a projectile once hurled at the TV.

#2 Texas (2-0), October 19th – I’ll argue that, once the season continues, the win against Michigan won’t look that great for this team. As offensively talented as they could hope for, there are some flaws. The running back room is thin, and their defensive has not faced a considerably good offense yet, but both sides of the ball have been efficient for Texas. Against quality teams, the weaknesses that exist will show, and that’s likely going to be on the defensive side of the ball with a questionable secondary unit. Regardless, there’s lots of ball to be played and the question to ask is will Ewers remain healthy all season long. And the game is in Austin on a weekend with competing events, limited hotels, and many barriers keeping one of the best travelled fan bases from attending in person, which means a hyped environment, for the wrong team. FEI #3, Sagarin #2

#1 – Alabama (2-0), September 28th – The one good thing going in this is that the game is early, so a loss would be something we could recover from in the polls and CFP standings. Aside from that, there’s little to look forward to with this one. Night game, in Tuscaloosa, and Gidnwilling it’s not close enough to get Dixieland Delight at the top of the 4th. The biggest thing is the Alabama Curse, and whether it exists with DeBoer or not. There’s unfamiliarity there now for Smart, so approaching this one will be different than years past. I know, USF this and USF that, but the team still won and avoided catastrophe but that’s as much about sloppy ball, penalties, and a key injury in the offensive line, all of which can be fixed in short order. This is an early “means everything” game, so composure is key and here’s hoping Beck is calm and steady and not rattled like he was in the opening quarters of the SECCG last season (after the first drive, anyway).