96 Bottles of Beer on the Wall

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I missed a day. So sue me. As a quick note, this little series isn’t meant to throw shade at anyone’s personal selection of beer, just my take on it as someone who has likely drank every one of these I’ll post that were available from 1993 forward. My wife affectionately refers to me as a garbage raccoon, so I’ll drink anything and everything, if I’m being honest here.

Today’s selection is a classic for refined palates everywhere: Natty Light.

No, not that Natty. This isn’t winning a “best of” anything anytime soon.

Aah, Natural Light. When you absolutely, positively have to get drunk and get drunk fast. These are served in 30 packs of 12 oz selections but everyone I’ve ever had was a tall boy or bigger. Recently they started selling these in Naturday packs, with a strawberry-lemon flavor, and I can’t imagine how infusing fruit with diesel fuel could be a palatable drink at all.

Truthfully, though, Natural Light is one of the most popular selling beers in America, and has an interesting profile for beer brand identification:

  • This was Anheuser-Busch’s answer to Miller Light, the first light beer for the company in 1975
  • Has a polarizing palate…people either hate it or love it
  • Recently unveiled the most expensive sculpture in the world, the DaVinci of Debt, made from actual college degrees from across the country to display the wealth of debt from college education (my wife’s degree was up there on display for a while):

Nicknames:

  • Natty Light
  • Fratty Light
  • Flatty Light
  • Natty
  • Shore Champagne

Pairs well with:

  • Daytona Beach
  • Daytona 500
  • Daytona Community College
  • Watching reruns of the Daytona 500
  • Quoting Talladega Nights or watching Talladega Nights again, almost monthly
  • America
  • Missing appendages after July 4th fireworks “fun”
  • Getting into a deer stand an hour before sundown, right after work, with little to no intention of hunting
  • Talbotton, Georgia

Hopefully I’ll have 95 tomorrow. Depends on how many Nattys I have today. Go Dawgs!

17 thoughts on “96 Bottles of Beer on the Wall”

  1. My only issue is this absolutely doesn’t get you drunk fast. You’ve gotta drink massive quantities of this stuff because it’s basically water with a hint of “beer” flavor. It was a go to back in the late nineties for sure. Shouts out to Talbotton, Ga! If I ever try to contribute as a poster I already know what my initial post will be about and Talbot County is featured in it. Go Dawgs.

    • Talbot has been hunting country for us for over 50 years. It’s special.

      By get drunk fast, I must be associating it with how easy it was to do so through shotgunning it or funneling it back in the day.

      • Yep. Some great hunting there.

        Yeah that’s a fact. I guess you drink it so fast that in a way it does work in that regard.

      • Talbotton holds a special place in Georgia Judicial history. Georgia did not have an appellate court until a law passed in 1845. That law did not establish a dedicated location, so the original justices had to travel around the state holding sessions of the Supreme Court. It’s very first session was in the Talbot County Courthouse in 1846.

        • I have a buddy, who is now a judge, who once found his younger, impressionable self in a hot as hell Talbot County (or was it Stewart County?) courthouse in front of an old cranky judge in a rather tense moment & a damn baby ripped a loud ass fart to cut the tension of the moment. It was all my buddy could do to keep from busting out laughing & not disrespect the old judge’s courtroom. True story!

      • I’ve spent a fair amount of time in Talbot County the last 20 years. Apparently, Natty Light pairs well with weed and hand to hand combat, too, if my anecdotal experiences are any indication. I love the locals in Talbotton, but it’s a different kind of place.😉

  4. Last time I had natty light was after a fishing trip off grayton beach. Captain pulled the boat back to his house and we started cleaning fish. He had some in the coldest cooler I’ve ever felt. After fishing in July it was some really good beer.

  7. One thing that would make that sculpture more accurate would be if the centerpiece was the top of a beer can.

  8. I’m definitely not a beer expert and I’ve had 1 or 12 back in the day. The only way I can tell the difference in beer is to drink one brand for a while and then try a different brand. I can then tell a difference.

  9. Back in my early undergrad days, living in Reed Hall and drinking nearly anything put in front of me (our go to was Beast Lite, god help me), I wouldn’t touch Natty Lite. Absolute swill.

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