Well, well, well. Reports are saying that Jared Curtis has miraculously recovered from his severe bout of wussiness he had last week, preventing him from playing against Georgia.
He’s behind us now, but I wanted to offer up a song in tribute to Jared, set to the tune of a classic ballad, which can be found here:
Here goes a JP original, enjoy:
Well I used to wake the morning, before the agent calls,
Searching for social follows, make myself some dough,
Come down to Nashville, come be the Admiral’s ho,
Cash it in, make myself money, I’m a man named Curtis Low!
Ole Jared was a bag man, with wild, lively arm
When he had a big old bag, he didn’t have a care
Used to be an ole Bulldawg, but he’d be whooped in Kirby’s knee
If you give ole Jared money, he’ll play on a shitty team
Play me a snap, Curtis Low, Curtis Low!
I got your NIL money, tune up your excuses.
People say you’re a wussy, but people are all right
Cause Curtis Low was the scaredest player, to never play the Dawgs.
Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week.
Rhyme every time for a dime.
Poet and don’t know it.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Curtis invented an injury,
To avoid hearing Dawg fans boo.
FTMF
Y’all need to get together soon to cut an album. Or what ever they do now! Loving all that prose!! Great job!! Go Dawgs!!
I can hear Ronnie’s voice echoing the new lyrics. Hopefully one of our younger geniuses puts your version and Skynyrd’s together with AI. Excellent effort Sir.
It would be a gold record in DAWG nation
Hee hee, nice! It’s miraculous he’s healed! I might be humming along with that tune in my head for most of the day. And yeah, ol’ Curtie dodge and Vandy coaches were probably thinking about the health of his head last Saturday.
One minor change from Curtis Lowe to Curtis Loot.
Soft