Not sure if you’ve seen this floating around, but there’s a theory gaining steam on the socials that the series of unfortunate events in San Francisco with injured 49ers has a lot to do with their proximity to electrical substations.
Which warrants the question…where are the electrical substations in Athens, Georgia? I did a little (read: less than ten minutes) investigation into the matter, and was able to discover some disturbing details.
Key Locations & Providers:
- Downtown Athens: A transformer substation on Dougherty Street was upgraded to handle growth from new housing and UGA developments, with new, taller transmission poles.
- University of Georgia (UGA):
- DEP-1: Located at Baxter and Newton Streets for central campus cooling.
- DEP-2: Near the steam plant serving Science Hill.
I also discovered there’s one nearby at the intersection of East Campus and Cedar Streets. These are all conspicuously close to both our practice fields and Sanford Stadium. Could electronic substations be responsible for every sports injury we have on our football team?
Then, I began to investigate further, based on my experience as an undergrad in the early 90s, and have located the sources of further substations that could explain why I had unusual experiences around Athens, Georgia. Allow me to share:
- Secret Substation Area 1 – The Intramural Fields – East Campus and College Station Road – This is where I suffered a non-contact torn ACL in 1996. I was in such peak athletic form, nothing other than a substation’s radio waves could’ve done me in. It definitely wasn’t the case of beer we split in the parking lot throughout the course of the game. No.
- Secret Substation Area 2 – The Georgia Theater – Lumpkin, Broad, and Washington Street – Between The Georgia Theater and Nowhere Bar, there must’ve been something unusual going on there. How else can I explain how I magically teleported between the Theater and Nowhere Bar on weekends, with little memory or explanation of how I got there or got home. I think I once fought Mike Bobo by the pool tables, or maybe it was on the darts platform. Wait, that was Sky’s Bar.
3. Secret Substation 3 – College Station Kroger – College Station Road and Barnett Shoals – There was definitely something going on under foot. Between the quickly rotting produce and the meat department that most definitely never, ever, wrapped up narcotics in the butcher’s shop and sold it across the counter (with a receipt!), all the way to the cashier that I fell in love with who wore different name badges every day. She told me it was a collection of different people she was friends with. Turned out it was actually the names of her many colorful personalities. Dating was fun, like I was dating seven different people at once, all which were bat-shit crazy but could do elite things no matter what night it was. Less said about that, the better. I should look her up…wait, I think she’s in jail.
4. Secret Substation 4 – Georgia Square Mall – If you ever went there, you wondered if the construction had ever started. They started demolishing it last year, but in my opinion, it was never finished. Empty stores, a very empty yet still Stranger Things kind of vibe, and generally a real dud when it came to matching the Athens vibe in general. I never got injured there, but there was definitely a magnetic energy field there that propelled me back out into the parking lot every time I tried to go in.
So, fellow tin-hat wearer…where are the other mysterious substations in Athens that could explain your misgivings/misfortunes while there?
Dude, this may be your finest work to date. There was a guy whose handle was Scorpio Jones III that used to post here. He and I were accused of wearing tin foil hats when we broached the subject of conspiracies. I hope people get the tenor of the post. Thanks! Great way to start the day.
Old Scorpio Jones. I wonder whatever happened to some of those folks. Some never made the migration here for different reasons. Some just kind of gave up when the Senator passed. Some went over the Reverend Whitewall’s blog (he encouraged people to support this blog as well as his), and I guess the rest of us are here. I miss Ranger Russ as much as I miss the Senator
Does anyone know if any of the old OG crowd have passed? Besides the great Ranger Russ.
There is a big one on Boulevard and Satula!
I think there was a temporary one downtown on the night of my 21st birthday. That entire night is one big blur, and I know it had nothing to do with all of the free shots.
Same…had to be something other than the shots.
“Don’t hit me with them negative waves so early in the morning, Moriarty.” It’s no wonder my body is falling apart having grown up in such a dangerous area. I’m sure it’s not age.
It musta been some other body no no sheriff it wasn’t me.
That’s certifiably crazy!
Everyone knows it’s the contrails.
Chem-trails
I believe it was the imaginary substations that got me. Like in Tommy Knockers, they transform you and don’t even know it’s happening.
Dude…you are so screwed. The Feds have monitored your web searches and the domestic anti-terrorism team will be at your door soon. I hear Gitmo can be nice this time of year though.
Shocking…absolutely shocking, I say, you seem to be two substations short of a live wire….40 watt club, for the win!!
Allen’s on Prince jolted me more than once! Hamburgers andCOLD beer cheap! Now those were the days!!
I was around when that disco Kroger opened! It was a great place for “Krogering” as we called it.
The electric substation downtown had magical powers for sure. It put strange voodoo on me several times. It was somewhere around the B&L Warehouse, TK Harty’s and the 40 watt. I know there was one out back of Sky’s place.
The transformers for the stadium lights at Kneeland are under the floor of the visitor’s locker room.
Man, I think you’re right about Secret Substation 2. I got my nose busted and ended up with 2 black eyes, on the street right there, all from one punch—and for no reason I’m sure! The aggressor, or maybe it was me, must have been under the influence of electromagnetic waves.
Sky’s Bar. fka The Fifth Quarter. A hive of scum and villany. And in truth, I loved it. I learned all the works to David Allen Coe’s greatest country music song ever by going there on Thursday nights for Ironic Country Night (it wasnt called that, but that’s what it was).
That may not have been a secret substation, it might have been a rip in the fabric of space/time that led one to a dimension where all kinds of reckless shit happened on a daily basis.
Damn. I miss that place. There. Cooper’s. Carlos McGee’s in Buckhead. McNeeley’s. I’m old.
Favorite bar fight was penny beer night at Mad Hatter in underground. Including two unknown incredibly drunk GT football players. During David Allen Cole’s Long haired redneck song.
Penny beer and nickel drinks with a $1 dollar cover charge. What could possibly go wrong.
The Mad Hatter became (or did it succeed?) “The Other Place,” which I guess was a riff on the B&L (the only real nightclub in the early 70s when I arrived). That was the scene of a legendary brawl between most of the varsity football team and a group of local motorcycle enthusiasts belonging to a group called “The Nightridess.” My recollection is several Nightriders were arrested (many after receiving medical attention), but zero football players.
I dug a little. Here’s how the red and black described it.
The Red and Black (Athens, Ga.) 1893-current, February 23, 1977, Image 1 « Georgia Historic Newspapers https://share.google/PfTPAQDjWXKcz2sdY
Nobody suspended. Those were the days.😉🤣
I knew some of the football players involved. A couple of them may have been lunatics. But. I would have taken the players and given the points in a group bar fight that year, although 1 on 1 was different. A certain defensive star got his ass kicked 2x in about a week by the same member of Fiji. Some guys are slow learners.🤣
aka “Swino’s”
I think we may as well just declare Athens a rift of space and time. Everyone I know says their time there went too fast and wants to go back but somehow it’s just not the same anymore.
There exists the issue with time travel, the names and places have changed to protect the innocent…Classic City for the win!!
Man, yall are bringing back some memories. I had a blast for sure, thank god I’ve “matured” a little since.
I hear you! I’ve matured for sure. Not sure I’ve grown up much, though. 😉
Oh, and I am so glad I went to school before digital cameras and social media. 😀
Cameras on the phone & social media in the late 80s probably lands me in jail for an extended visit.
While not power sub-station related (or was it?), my friends and I were all convinced that there was a faucet in the kitchen of Peking on Atlanta Highway that they could not turn off. The waiters ran around like madmen filling up the water glasses every time you took a single sip. They single-handedly kept west Athens from flooding, I’m sure of it.
Also, I really miss their Peking chicken.
For real! Peking Chicken was crack.
“Flouridated water Mandrake”
IYKYK
Now that is some funny shat right there. BTW I meet that seven personalities girl’s cousin. Bat shit crazy but the things she did she did with a certain gusto that was memorable even to this day. I’ve only forgotten parts of the 70’s. Some things and people are unforgettable.
Late but here it is! Rockwood Inn on Lexington Rd. Little Lady sold beer out of small window. Parking lot full! Many afternoons loving it!!!=
An old roommate and I were attracted like moths to a lamp to the College Station Kroger around 3am towards the end of a night of bad ideas. Also, Happy China $5 lunch buffet, which inspired the Monte Carlo song ‘Race With the Devil’. If you know, you know.