Lay Waste to All That Oppose You – Musings on the Idiocy that is the CFP Committee

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So, the latest rankings dropped last night, and, not surprisingly, the Committee, whose spokesman’s name is an anagram for A Lewd Manure (Warde Manuel, who is coincidentally the AD at Michigan – no bias there, right?), did some fifth dimensional chess to explain their rankings to the nation.

First, the fact that Missouri is ranked at all should be an indicator that the Committee is either senile, drunk, or a combination of both. Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life. Just ask Warde.

“Brawndo. It’s got electrolytes”.

Warde took time out to explain the Committee’s drinking thinking when it comes to some of the more hilarious rankings, starting with Tennessee’s richer yet equally inbred counterpart, the Texas Longhorns:

“Well, obviously Georgia has a very good win at Texas, but as the committee analyzed the body of work of Texas versus where Georgia is at present with two losses, even to top-25 teams, we came out that Texas was still a very strong team deserving of a 3 seed. They have a top-5 defense. Quinn Ewers is leading one of the top passing offenses in the country,” Manuel said. “We just looked at them and thought … and came out, I should say, with them at 3. It’s nothing against Georgia. Georgia is a great team, but they did struggle against Ole Miss but had a great win this past week against Tennessee. We will continue to monitor both teams and see how it goes in the next few weeks.”

Georgia had a great win at Texas he says. They also had a great win against Clemson. A great win against Tennessee. Texas has a great win against…unranked Michigan? Unranked Arkansas? Vanderbilt? Who in the literal fuck has Texas beaten that would allow someone to overlook the fact that Beck spotted them three turnovers and still won by two scores…and likely would’ve been more had the officials not called the most miraculous change of heart witnessed live on TV and likewise allowed fans to litter the field without penalty?

Of course, that’s not the most egregious stupidity on the list, is it?

Indiana, playing the Mountain West strength of schedule with a 1990s Florida State credibility. Make it make sense.

Texas, Penn State, and Indiana all are given “credit” for exactly what? Indiana has played an FBS-level schedule, Penn State hasn’t beaten anything with a pulse outside of fracking themselves in their onanistic self-righteousness (insert white out joke here), and I’ve already mentioned Austin Shitty Limits’ resume. Yet there they are, 3-5 ranked ahead of a group of teams with more talent that have been beating the collective shit out of each other thanks to the Birmingham Brainfarts who devised a schedule where Georgia would play three of the highest ranked SEC team on the list on the road. Hell, we still beat the highest ranked one. But that doesn’t count because we looked bad against Ole Miss and struggled with Kentucky?

Speaking of struggling with slack-jawed yokels, how does the committee overlook Ohio State’s near catastrophe with Nebraska? The team that is seeking their sixth win now for the past decade and their goofier version of Patrick Mahomes almost beat the Greatest Team Money Can Buy, sponsored by Just For Men. Of course, Ohio State could lose to Indiana (I could also find D.B. Cooper in a Piggly Wiggly Express in Statham) and the CFP Collective would likely allow Ohio State to stand pat in the rankings because “their two losses are against two undefeated and the top 2 teams” and credit their win against Penn State as justification that the Top 4 should just be the four BIG teams and no one else, because it seems that’s what they’re gunning for.

And then there’s Notre Dame. Thank you, Aggies, for shitting the bed and allowing the Catholic Cabal to continue to gain false relevance in the new expanded college football world while the Irish continue to join nothing. Like the one kid who keeps showing up to the gym for pickup basketball, wearing the cleanest and most expensive gear, they get to play because you only have nine and you want to get in a game before happy hour ends at Steverino’s, so he gets to play even though no one wants him there and he plays like absolute swamp ass, to boot. He talks big, accomplishes little, but has a trust fund and is a legacy that gets to have all the fun off daddy’s money. Every once in a while he gets into a situation and gets his ass kicked to everyone’s amusement, but damned if he just isn’t there every fucking Saturday, isn’t he?

You don’t have nothin to prove to nobody. Like, literally, ever. You’re just always in it, you entitled little shithead.

Okay, okay. I am skipping past the fact that Tennessee is the first team out, now, which I should find amusing. But here’s the sad part. We now have to pull for Tennessee, Clemson, and Alabama. If Tennessee loses, there’s one more bullshit excuse for how Georgia’s resume is lesser. Ditto for Clemson versus South Carolina, which is a toss up and likely Carolina early favorite. Alabama needs to beat Texas because, by this rationale, we beat Texas, so we should finish ahead of them, right? Right? Or will the Longhorns throw shit on the field and have the committee change their decision making?

One thing that’s in our favor…the disrespect. Kirby Smart eats this up. My hope is that we get in the CFP, and whoever we face wherever it may be, ends with a press conference where Kirby tells folks “everyone needs to see what happened here tonight…this needs to be fixed”. Let’s hope we see that wrath and fury against Tech. They deserve it in every measure. Past that, I hope every subsequent game with any overrated BIG team looks like the skulldragging we administered to Hawaii in the 2008 Sugar Bowl. That team also had two losses, so there’s that.

Terminate. With extreme prejudice.

I’m ranting at this point. My final wonderings:

  • If Indiana makes the BIG championship game and loses, will the committee slide them down to 12 like they did Georgia in 2023? You know, because three undefeated seasons mean jack shit, so one undefeated season really is irrelevant, right?
  • If Ohio State beats Indiana and loses to Oregon, do they get ranked #2? I mean, they’ve beaten literally no one except one win against a previously undefeated team in Penn State, but lost twice to top ranked teams? How do you compare that to Georgia, losing to an undefeated Alabama the time and then Ole Miss, but then beating not one, not two, but three teams in the top 20 of the rankings, including the number 3 team who was undefeated and #1 at the time? I mean, a win against #3 is surely better than a win against #4, right?

Let’s face it. Look at the proposed bracket above again, and look at what’s happening. It’s going to be the SEC-BIG invitational, with somehow the top four from each finding a way to play each other, save for the precious Fuckeyes, who somehow draw the Mormons and play Boise Spud Fucking State, who gets a BYE? A BYE?

The Senator warned us that the game was in danger. The regular season, in essence, has become irrelevant and is now fully controlled by Mickey Mouse, a committee lead by Colonel Kurtz himself, and the almighty dollar. The dollar part was already there, but now the powers that be are essentially controlling the future of the sport, and it’s telling us the super conference is right around the corner. Only the Committee-approved out-of-conference games will count, school traditions and pageantry be damned. Games and decision making feel so bland and scripted they could be an animated Disney picture in and of themselves.

We are Hipparion, taking a last graze across the grassy, verdant steppes we’ve known all these years. In the sky is a bright star that wasn’t there before, growing daily in size and intensity, but we pay no attention to this aerial anomaly as all seems normal in the space before us. The breeze takes a sudden change of direction, things seem different in a way we can’t describe, but a deeper intuition tells us to run and fight. By then, it’s too late to make a desperate measure, as the object is the 78 million ton 1950 DA asteroid, and it’s heading directly at us.

The plain darkens. The particles in the air retreat, oxygen drawn away and particles splitting with the impending pressure. All we knew, the beautifully designed landscape and existence that had been our blessed delight and joy, is in moments torn asunder, and just like that…gone.

61 thoughts on “Lay Waste to All That Oppose You – Musings on the Idiocy that is the CFP Committee”

  2. I don’t know about y’all but the BCS formula might be the best way to figure this out. It takes the human element out of it.

    • I’ve been saying this for years. You have the human element with the polls. With the number of voters (and don’t start taking the polls until 4 or 5 weeks into the season), the law of large numbers reduces the bias and each ballot gets posted every week. Take an average of the computer rankings (drop the highest and lowest once again to remove the bias of each model similar to Olympic judging). Give some type of credit in the ranking for winning your conference.

      Take the top 12 and go play.

    • Conveniently enough, there is an X account that still calculates the BCS using the surviving computer polls and the AP and Coaches polls. Interestingly, the BCS would still produce the same 12 teams, but the seeding would be different.

      Link to BCS bracket: https://x.com/BCSKnowHow/status/1859032044535509427

      BCS Ranking (CFP in parenthesis):
      1. Oregon (1)
      2. Ohip State (2)
      3. Texas (3)
      4. Penn State (4)
      5. Indiana (5)
      6. Notre Dame (6)
      7. Georgia (10)
      8. Alabama (7)
      9. Ole Miss (9)
      10. Miami (8)
      11. Tennessee (11)
      12. SMU (13)
      13. BYU (14)
      14. Boise State (12)
      15. Texas A&M (15)
      16. Clemson (17)
      17. Colorado (16)
      18. Army (19)
      19. South Carolina (18)
      20. Iowa State (22)
      21. Tulane (20)
      22. Arizona State (21)
      23. Kansas State (NR)
      24. Missouri (23)
      25. UNLV (24)

  3. Give me the old bowl system….

    I think we need to focus on going 2-0 over the next 9 days and we’ll be fine wherever these idiots put us.

    It would be nice to go to bed on December 8th with another home game on the schedule, but whatever the committee does, we’ll have our work cut out to go 4-0 in the postseason.

    Wouldn’t piss me off to see some chaos and play in ATL for a shot at that bye. Crazier shit has happened before.

    Btw: question on these brackets I keep seeing. Are those second round match ups predetermined OR will they depend on first round outcomes?

    In other words, if 5 beats 12 then presumably 5 plays 4, but if 12 wins do they play 1? That’s what would make sense, but what does these days?

  4. Personally I’m just fine with a pissed off disrespected Georgia playing Penn St. winner gets Miami. That’s a bracket I could love.

    The committee does the will of their paymasters via the bracket. Once the bracket is set they create their story to justify their work. SSDD

    • Yeah, we owe Penn State a good ass-whipping. And our last trips to Miami have worked out just fine.

      But the committee is smoking crack with their rankings. As I’ve said all along, the regular season means nothing. Just schedule 12 cupcakes and feast.

  5. I don’t have a problem treating the top 2-4 teams as a beauty contest – that’s the way the (poll) game has always been played…. But playing the beauty contest below spot 5 or so? Utterly ridiculous…. Will be interesting to see how far the Indiana-Ohio State loser drops….

  6. My formula would be who would you not to like to see on the other sideline in a winner take all kind of game. I’m guessing the answer to that question would be Georgia and Alabama.

  7. That’s a long vent this morning! Last night I read a couple of paragraphs of Warde Manuel quotes. It was word salad, trying to take every side of every issue in a single sentence.
    For these rankings, the only rationale I can come up with is: we have enough of a committee that the results are like the AP and UPI polls even before BCS. The polls didn’t go out on a limb for anybody in football except Alabama and Notre Dame. Most of the teams in that ranking ‘inherited’ their way up. I know that doesn’t explain how far teams drop after a loss.
    The committee members will never admit that thinking. Gotta spout about your thorough due diligence ya know. But those rankings are the kind of mediocre shallow surface analysis for which committees have been famous since prehistoric times.

  8. So as it stands, all four 1st round games would be played up in the northeast or midwest in cold ass weather, possibly snow. This is an obvious fuck you from our fellow fans in the rust belt who are tired of watching the south beat their ass in football. I don’t even know why we bother thinking this is all on the up and up anymore.

    • Can’t remember where I read it, maybe in Band of Brothers, that there was an assumption that southern soldiers couldn’t fare well in colder fighting conditions, but the opposite proved true. If we got Penn State in the snow, I still like our chances. Their offense is anemic, I think our guys would win the trenches and road grade them all day. Hopefully we have a fully healthy backfield that will just go on death marches all day long in Unhappy Valley.

      • I don’t know JP. Most of our guys have rarely seen snow, or extreme cold, much less played in it. I think it would be a huge advantage for PSU.

  9. JP, I am standing here at my desk with one hand over my heart and the other ones
    enthusiastically golf clapping. This is the best post since you all began to lead the way out of the void GTP left behind. You’ve checked almost all the boxes:

    A less than complimentary anagram
    Animal House reference
    Onanism
    Inbreeding among the hill folk
    Slack jawed yokels (couldn’t have described Nebraska fans better. Except for my buddy Dave, he’s cool)
    Accurate dig on Rudy’s and their ilk
    Scary Kirby Smart
    Mormons
    Apocalypse now
    Apocalypse maybe tomorrow
    Horses with toes that didn’t make the cut at Noah’s pier.

    All I can see you left out was #FTMF so please let me be the one to add: #fuckthosemotherfuckers

    Somewhere in the cosmos Blutarsky and his Lieutenant-at-Arms RangerRuss have taken pause in the galaxial pillage they’re undoubtedly committing to smile and nod.

    Bravo, Sir.

    • I have my moments. I was literally think what would Ranger Russ say about this, so I let loose the profanities and allowed the passion to flow. Glad you enjoyed it!

  10. JP, what a post! You have shown yourself today to be the true and rightful successor to the Senator, may his memory be a blessing. Still have to do the Jetpack dance to comment, though.

    • Thank you! Also, the continued toying with the site goes on…while the mirror site works well for commenting, the transition from one site to another is something that is a little scary to try right now…I’m going to try some more tinkering once we’ve completed the Tech game, so we don’t lose what we have right now in whatever transition that occurs. Thanks for everyone’s continued patience!

  11. And again they have their sweethearts Alabama and Ohio State in the sweetie bracket, whereas, Georgia, will have to replay another SEC team if we take care of business.

    • I’m actually a little surprised they didn’t cram all the SEC teams into on side of the bracket to avoid the certainty that it will again be two SEC teams in the final.

      • But that would require giving some SEC teams a first round home game. They can’t let that happen. They’d be admitting that SOS is more important than W-L.

      • That only happens on the final real bracket. Everything now is smoke and mirrors to hide the real agenda which you nailed.

  13. This is just an excellent post. The only thing I would add is the glee of the committee at the chance to send southern schools to play in shit weather in late December. Yeah, lets play meaningful playoff games in what is a warm weather sport in the shittiest conditions possible. Even the Big 10 is smart enougth to play their conference championship game in a dome. And now nobody evnt wants to play in the SECCG. Well done, assholes.

    • Well said. I think that the committee and the conference heads know that the conference championships, which aren’t going away because of money, are considered by many as a liability and that ultimately that is a bad thing for the sport. Manuel talking last night about the importance to the committee of conference championship appearances was proof of that.

  14. Hall of Fame blogging, c’est bon et magnifique monsieur JPM!
    espn est le diable.
    these guys are so awe-struck by the european champions league model, so i wish they would adopt the rule that does not allow a team to match up with a team from their league until the semi finals…in other words, a SEC team would not have to face another SEC team in the cfp until the final four.

    for soccer haters…in euro champs league…they take top team from all country leagues (england, france, spain, etc) and put them in a tourney during their regular season of their countries league play. this is why the college football espn devil worshippers are pushing for a super league as they are trying to use the same formula to drive tv $$$€€££¥¥¥. diehard soccer fans are as pissed as college football fans with how they are being jerked around.
    Burn the boats…Go Dawgs!

  15. Just win, baby.

    The committee has hemmed us in with Alabama and Ole Miss. If Bama beats Texas in the SECCG, they aren’t going to drop Texas below us. At this point, the best to hope for is to get to the 8 seed to host a first round game.

  16. I wanted the BCS back when the playoff went to 4. I like the 12 team version even less and yes UGA could still win it all despite 2 losses.

    The broadcasters make it out that more games matterr. In my opinion UGA wins out and gets in or they don’t. I don’t care what Indiana does. I don’t care which group of 5 team gets in. As a result, I’ve watched UGA and a few rivalry games.

    The playoff bracket with UGA going to Penn St and then Miami….. well I like UGA’s chances.

    McElroy said something along the lines are there are more than 12 really good teams fighting for the playoff. My argument is there are not 12 reaally good teams but there are many good teams. Nobody has looked great since the season began with the exception of possibly Oregon. However, they’ve only played 2 ranked teams.

    • And even Oregon looked very shaky in their opener against the vaunted Idaho Vandals. Their second game wasn’t a cake walk against Boise State either. But Boise State has turned out to be a tough, top-15 team.

  18. My favorite thing of the night was the committee listing Arkansas as a “bad loss” for Tennessee on a graphic and listing Arkansas as a “good win” for Texas on a graphic.

  19. You’ve hit on it, JPM, but the playoff rankings are just kayfabe for whatever TV matchups Mickey wants. Ad revenue is the only thing that matters. As fans, we’re just nuisances to ignore. I’m curious to see if, ten years down the road, CFB is so drained of what made it great (like what happened with NASCAR) that people mostly tune it out.

    • Good point. In the 90s and early 2000s before kids I was a pretty big fan of NASCAR. Not rabid, but I would watch on Sundays (especially in the summer). Would attend three to five races per year with a few buddies that also didn’t have kids yet. Between the idea of the Car of Tomorrow and NASCAR continually doing things to lessen the impact of engine builders like Ernie Elliott and trying to make everything the same on every car I kind of just lost interest.

      • You’d think it’d be impossible to turn guys off fast cars tradin’ paint but where there’s a dumbass corporate exec’s will there’s a way.

  20. The CFP committee will be locked in to 1-4 and will manipulate the rest for the matchups they want in order to get what they want: More Money. They will also seed 5-12 to try to fuck over certain teams/coaches/conferences/fan bases they don’t approve of in that particular season.

    • With Kirby calling out the committee’s lack of consistency on national TV, I don’t see any avenue for us getting a home game in the first round. If we fall backwards into the SECCG and win, we’ll get a buy. We lose that and we’re out. We finish outside the top 2 and we’re on the road.

      Ditto for Ole Miss. I’m sure the committee isn’t happy that Freshwater publicly stated that coaches see the SECCG as a trap game. Ol’ Ward may claim they won’t punish CG losers, but we all know that’s a lie.

  21. When this one is defending UGA, you know the committee is off their rocker!

    Nicole Auerbach
    @NicoleAuerbach

    I still don’t understand why Georgia is seven spots behind Texas. Dawgs have two top-15 wins INCLUDING OVER TEXAS. Longhorns have zero top-25 wins.
    7:46 PM • Nov 19, 2024

    • It’s because Texas only has one L and it’s a “quality loss”. I agree that they should be ranked lower, but let’s all be completely honest with ourselves. We looked like total ass against Ole Miss. Before the UT win, few of us thought this was a championship-caliber team. The last game showed us that this team has that dawg in them if they play well. So now we feel disrespected, but the committee saw that game too and it’s giving them all the justification they need to keep us lower.

      • I feel like the committee is treating the Texas loss to Georgia as an aberration (hell…maybe it is) and that the Georgia win over Texas is discounted because Texas doesn’t have a win over a top 25 team. I know that may make zero sense, but I have a hard time rationalizing the committee’s BS without that thought. It certainly doesn’t help that Clemson’s not going to play in the ACCCG and have an opportunity to be the playoff (unless Miami somehow loses to dreadful Wake on Saturday). As much as I hate Clemson, Georgia really needed for them to be really good and finish in the top 15 if not in the playoff.

  22. I wonder if Jeffery Kessler is available to sue the committee on anti-trust violations? There is absolutely no reason to keep a few reporters from being in the room to witness deliberations. There is a lot of $$$$ and careers at stake. Sending an inept spokesperson out to mumble crazy answers is not being transparent. Why do they need secrecy? What’s so critical to their discussions they need privacy and anonymity? Hell, every sports outlet is discussing the exact same thing 24/7. Fans, players and coaches are being screwed but legalized gambling is funding this shit and we’re never going back to sanity. JP, your analogy of the meteor is sadly spot on.

  23. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. It’s some of the best snark I’ve read since our fearless leader left us. Well played, sir. Keep it up and Cheers ‘n shit!

  24. I know I’m in the minority here, but I’m not as upset over the rankings. Is UGA too low? Yeah…I’d have us closer to 7 (like in the simulated BCS rankings above). But imagine if this were last year. We’d already be out in the cold. Sitting at 10 with only a cupcake and GT left? And a top 4 that’s pretty much locked into Big10 Champ (assuming Oregon), winner of Ohio State/Indiana, Texas (or Bama if they win SEC title) and Penn State (maaayyybbeee Notre Dame). We’d have no prayer of working our way into the top 4 without the stars aligning to get us into the SEC Championship game and win that.

    Can I complain about the disrespect of the seeding or the inconsistencies in the order of rankings? Sure, but even if we were using the old BCS formula, we’d still be currently sitting as a road team, just heading to South Bend instead of Happy Valley.

    The other thing that these early “if the playoffs were today” models are ignoring is the utter chaos we’re likely to see Dec. 6. It is very unlikely every single higher ranked team wins their conference championship. For SEC and Big 10, maybe not as impactful given the number of teams from each in the top 10. But for ACC, Big12 and the G5 conferences, that is likely to be their one shot. SMU beating Miami? Canes out, Dawgs likely moving up even more. Colorado beats BYU? Colorado now on the road as the 12 seed and Boise locks in a bye. Unless Colorado State or UNLV beat Boise (ok…now I’m getting carried away).

    • At least we can take solace in the fact that there is now a very real chance that Tennessee gets left out. And it makes it even sweeter that it is because the Big XII sucks so badly, Boise State might a bye so that the Big XII champ gets in as the 12 seed, and the Vols’ remaining schedule against UTEP and Vandy won’t give them any bump whatsoever.

      • Bama got a 3-spot jump for beating Mercer. If UT whips UTEP by more than we beat UMass, I could imagine the committee moving them ahead of us because they beat Bama and Bama is ranked highly. And then if they beat Vandy, well, Vandy beat Bama so that extra EXTRA points. But we won’t get credit for beating Tech who beat Miami because ACC blah blah blah and we lost by 18 to Ole Miss and Georgia should have just won their games like Indiana and blah blah blah.

        • Seems “style points” against cupcakes is back in vogue.
          If beating up Mercer moved Bama 3 spots, it’s further proof that the committee is a bunch of morons.

  25. Saw someone today post something on X (think it was Radi Nabulsi) saying how much he hated the “just win your games” shit without the context of who you play. Basically, he said it is akin to you and me running a foot race for a lot of money and I get to run downhill and you have to run steeply uphill the same distance and the winner then gets to say “hey, just win the race.”

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