You must read this (or…today in Facebook shitposting nonsense):
🤣😂🤣😂
WEST MEMPHIS BROTHERS BUSTED AFTER POLICE SHUT DOWN ILLEGAL POSSUM FIGHT CLUB… AND YES, PEOPLE PAID TO WATCH…
WEST MEMPHIS, AR — We’ve officially found the only thing in Crittenden County capable of making Walmart look classy.
West Memphis Police say they thought they were responding to reports of suspicious screaming coming from an old storage building behind a vacant tire shop. Instead, officers walked into what can only be described as the SEC Championship of Bad Decisions.
According to investigators, brothers Dewayne “Scooter” McClendon and Ricky Dale McClendon were arrested Friday night after allegedly operating an underground possum fighting ring that had somehow become one of the hottest tickets in West Memphis.
Admission was reportedly $5, or FREE if you brought a folding chair and promised not to call Animal Control.
Deputies say the “arena” consisted of a circle made from empty pickle jars and busted beer cans, complete with a hand-painted banner reading:
“POSSUMPALOOZA 2026 – Where Champions Play Dead.”
The fight card reportedly featured legendary competitors including:
Sir Hiss-A-LotMississippi Mike
Dumpster Debbie
Whatever Ricky Caught Behind Popeyes 20 Minutes Ago
The investigation began after neighbors complained about “violent screeching, excessive cheering, and someone repeatedly yelling, ‘HE’S FAKIN’ IT!'”… which, as it turns out, is exactly what possums do.
When officers entered the building, they discovered nearly 30 spectators, four coolers full of cheap beer, a folding table serving as the betting counter, and one possum proudly wearing a championship belt made from duct tape, a dog collar, and what appeared to be an expired Bass Pro Shops gift card.
Police say the biggest problem with the operation wasn’t the gambling…
It was that the possums refused to cooperate.
Apparently every match ended about 12 seconds in when both contestants dramatically fell over and played dead.
Several angry bettors reportedly demanded refunds, insisting they’d “seen more action waiting in line at the DMV.”
When questioned, Scooter allegedly told officers:
“We ain’t breakin’ no laws… we’re preservin’ Southern heritage.”
His brother Ricky Dale reportedly added:
“Besides… they was volunteers.”
Authorities weren’t convinced.
Both brothers now face charges including animal cruelty, illegal gambling, and operating an unlicensed concession stand after officers discovered they had been selling boiled peanuts and nachos out of what investigators described as “a heavily modified leaf blower.”
As for the possums…
Wildlife officials safely released them into the woods, where they’re expected to make a full recovery just as soon as they finish pretending to be dead for the next six to eight business days.
Only in West Memphis could somebody lose fifty bucks betting on an animal whose entire fighting strategy is taking a nap.
Cliff Messer
Yes, there’s an accompanying mug shot.
For today’s Fodder…what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever heard about happening in your home town? Or even outside of town?
Discuss.
In fairness to me, O Pappy the possum was a 3 time returning champion and in my Facebook Marketplace ad I clearly stated “No lowball offers, I know what I got” so the federalies couldn’t stake false advertising on the other charges.
“stack” not stake
They look good in that Tennessee orange. They’re only missing the Power “T.” VFL!
Damn that was funny as hell to read. Thanks JP!
A pissed off possum ain’t no joke. When I was a kid we heard the most god awful screeching and hissing coming from our carport. It was about midnight. When we turned on the lights and checked it out, we saw a huge possum waddling off and our big, tough tomcat missing an eye. (He recovered )
Only in Arkansas could two guys named Scooter and Ricky Dale running an illegal possum fighting operation be considered high entertainment. I don’t care if this real or not. It’s still funny.
Judge ye not! Ol’ Scooter and Ricky Dale may have just stumbled upon the next Savannah Bananas sensation. Call them crazy. Call them the best the butt-chugging state has to offer. But don’t discount the fact that these young entrepreneurs saw an untapped market and took the leap. Their story shall be studied in the hallowed halls of the Haslam College of Business for years to come.
Sad to admit (and with my sincere apologies to PETA), I would pay good money to watch that show, and to see exactly what a concession stand made out of a leaf blower looks like.
Those dudes look exactly as one would expect possum fighting management to look. Somehow I was blessed to have missed the gene that makes a person want to hurt innocent animals by making them fight for their lives. It’s a special kind of evil that may be a pretty good indicator that said people are not fit for respectable society. In the meantime, that is a very funny story.
Someone clearly broke the first rule of “Possum Fight Club”!
Roll Tide!
https://www.al.com/news/anniston-gadsden/2016/09/alabama_man_critically_injured.html