A Dog Named Butts

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December 5, 2020

Good morning, y’all. Well, I can hardly contain my excitement, the big day is finally here. It’s just hours until our fearless lads take the field of combat against the semi-nerds of Vanderbilt University in beautiful downtown Nashville. GO DAWGS!!!!

Speaking of good dogs, it’s time to introduce a very important member of the Lite family, our dog Butts. If you believe urban legends, and the stories my Daddy told, then Butts is directly related to the family of dogs that are bred to be the mascot of the University of Georgia, UGA.

For those of you that have been living in a cave, or Alabama, let me tell you about the lineage of the fine beasts bred to be the standard for the University of Georgia. The candidates for mascot are purebred English bulldogs bred by the Seiler family down in Savannah, Georgia. The candidates are culled for the appropriate qualities of a mascot and only the finest examples of bulldogs are allowed to take the field to represent the University.

As you can imagine, the “seconds” still command a very high price, I hear as much as $5,000 per dog. Obviously, an animal of this quality is as out of my reach as the Kentucky Derby winner, which begs the question, how did I come by a potential cousin of UGA himself?

The story goes that Daddy was down in Savannah servicing his “Gentlemen’s” vending machines when he happened into a card game, as was his habit. Lightning strikes every now and again and this time it struck Daddy. He was cleaning up every hand. Well, they get down to the last game and this old boy is out of cash, but he does have something of value. A genuine Seiler bulldog pup. Daddy’s aces and eights prove to be the dead man’s hand for the other fellow and Daddy had himself a celebrity. Daddy named the pup Halsey after a famous admiral.

Daddy treated Halsey to a life that was the envy of all of us. Daddy truly loved that dog, and it was a weird emotional thing to watch Daddy lavish such care and devotion on an animal. A famous animal mind you, but not a person, much less kinfolk. Anyway, they were a pair. When Daddy would get in his cups he’d called Halsey, Ballsy. If you’ve ever walked behind a bulldog you’d know why. Daddy took to breeding Halsey with suitable companions and we’d split the litters with the females owners. Halsey is long gone, like Daddy, but his progeny live on. My dog Butts is a great-great-grandson of Halsey.

Now people ask, “why’d you name your dog Butts?”, and I say it’s after one of Georgia’s most famous coaches. I endure the look of curiosity for a while, then I reply, “Wally Butts”, which helps some of them. Truth is, you can’t go to a tailgate, or a dog park, or anywhere in Georgia where there may be a congregation of canines and holler, “Dooley” and not be overrun by dogs. “Sanford”, after the stadium, is also becoming a popular name. You’ll never hear anyone hollering “Butts”. I don’t get it, where’s the love?

Wally Butts was Georgia’s most successful coach if you go by national championships, which I think we do. Butts has two, Dooley one and current coach Smart has 0. Coach Butts won the SEC title five times, current coach Kirby Smart has won once. Catch my drift? That’s why you don’t hear any dogs named “Smart”.

Coach Butts’ good name was tarnished back in 1962 in the Saturday Evening Post in an article that was contributed to by Atlanta sportswriter Furman Bisher. The article blasted Coach Butts for allegedly conspiring with Bear Bryant to fix a game. I remember thinking at the time that if Coach Butts had handed Coach Bryant the Georgia playbook it would not have changed the outcome of the game. We were that bad and they were that good. A libel suit was filed and the damaged parties were compensated, but still, a sad footnote to an illustrious career. I guess that’s why you don’t hear more dogs being named Butts.

Well, I got to get a few hours of sleep before starting my game day ritual. Me and Butts will be over here on the sofa if you need us.

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About budlite

Bud Lite is a fictional character featured in the books Momma, Can You Hear Me?, The Little Church in the Valley, and The Crystal Palace. Bud represents the man the author might have become without the love and guidance of a good woman—a proud UGA graduate.

13 thoughts on “A Dog Named Butts”

  3. Unlike Alabama, the University of Georgia does not recognize Williamson, and the like, “national championships” so officially Butts has 1.

    Meanwhile, Alabama claims 323.

    • Yeah, screw that. We were there only top ranked team undefeated and we won our bowl over UNC and Charlie “Choo Choo” Justice. I damn sure claim 1946 and the University should as well.

    • I say claim them all! Why not? There was no way to determine the true champion for decades. UGA should have 7 from what I’ve read (1927, 1942, 1946, 1968, 1980, 2021, and 2022). I see no reason for UGA to worry about which poll declared them champions and since so many other schools already claim championships from polls that no longer exist, I say again say “why not?” Does it make us respectable to not claim the other 3? Tech claims 4 and 1 or 2 of them is suspect, but so what? Let’s claim all of ours and be proud of it!

      • 93Dawg – I like your thinking! That puts Butts at 2 championships and keeps me from having to edit my piece. :~)

        • The teams ranked highest in the final Associated Press poll in December 1946 were:

          The 1946 Notre Dame Fighting Irish football team compiled an 8–0–1 record and was ranked No. 1 in the final AP poll. The Fighting Irish, led by consensus All-Americans Johnny Lujack at quarterback and George Connor at tackle, played a scoreless tie against No. 2 Army in a game billed as the "Game of the Century". Notre Dame also ranked first in the nation in total offense (441.3 yards per game), rushing offense (340.1 yards per game), and total defense (141.7 yards per game).
          The 1946 Army Cadets football team compiled a 9–0–1 and was ranked No. 2 in the final AP poll. Army had won consecutive national championships in 1944 and 1945 and was led by 1946 Heisman Trophy winner Glenn Davis and 1945 Heisman winner Doc Blanchard.
          The 1946 Georgia Bulldogs football team compiled a perfect 11–0 record, won the Southeastern Conference (SEC) championship, was ranked No. 3 in the final AP poll, and defeated No. 9 North Carolina in the Sugar Bowl. The Bulldogs ranked second nationally in total offense (394.6 yards per game). They were led by Charley Trippi who tallied 1,366 yards of total offense and won the Maxwell Award as the best player in college football.

          So the Williamson people https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Williamson_System chose not to put God over country and named the team with the most wins and an unblemished record as their champion. I haven’t researched any opponents in common to validate their choice of Georgia, but I do like their retrospective. Over the years there’s been a variety of services putting forward their champions including the abomination in 1990:
          https://www.ncaa.com/history/football/fbs

          Can we agree to disagree so I don’t have to rename my dog?

          • Between you and I, I just like making fun of bammer for recognizing a bunch of questionable natties to pad their numbers. Doesn’t work as well if we were to go the same route. And we’d still be well behind if we joined them.

            Same with 2004 at Auburn. Why not snicker over their fake rings? USC would have beat that ass! They beat them 23-0 the year before in Auburn! If saban could have held a 24-0 lead at home vs them, they’d still be without a natty since they stole one in 1957 with an ineligible bunch of cheaters.

            I’m not hating on Butts or the 1946 squad. I’m preserving our integrity for future mockery of both the barn and bammer.

  4. Do I have to take down my replica 1946 national championship banner from the rec room ceiling? I try to avoid using ladders these days.

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