Tuesday Refugee Roundtable – The Dying Man

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If you’re a podcast person and usually listen only to Dawg content, I highly recommend Brooks Austin. One thing I like about Brooks, aside from his insight and ball knowledge, is his unapologetic “bro talk” with his co-commentators. They’re slightly goofy, a little machismo, funny, and it’s the kind of banter you’d expect to hear between guys at a tailgate.

You know, guys being guys.

What hits me the most, though, is how it’s rare to hear it nowadays. One thing I found endearing about the tribute to Ranger Russ was hearing about the story where he entered an Athens liquor store, proceeded to smoke and ignore the storekeep’s instructions, and even messed with his buddy in the process. That type of daring and edginess is a dying characteristic among us nowadays, and particularly in men. One part terrifying, one part hilarious, it was the DNA of being male…looking into the face of death and laughing.

Another podcast I listen to often is Theo Von’s This Past Weekend, which features comics, politicians, and heaps of therapists and leading researchers in their field. One I listened to this past weekend on my way up to my buddy’s house for some much needed “man time” was with Richard Reeves, who heads up the American Institute for Boys and Men. If you have a couple of hours to burn, it’s worth a listen.

High point summary: the “traditional” man is disappearing. He explores reasons why, from the 1960 Women’s Liberation movement forward, the collapse of traditional male roles and work options, shifts in family dynamics, but goes into an interesting exploration about the history of polygamy in that, at one time, women and fatherhood were limited to the men of esteem, power, or strength. To achieve your own partnership, one had to either amass the wealth and power or demonstrate feats of strength.

Festivus aside, he discusses smokejumpers and the inherent risk of the job and how it remains a male-dominated industry, and may be because of the genetic historical predisposition to be risk-takers as means to make your mark as a man on the world. Alarmingly, he also notes a 40% increase in incidents of su*c*de among males since the pandemic, in an era where men are challenged to look their inherent selves in the mirror and find that the world’s ills – per some talking heads – are the fault of who they were born to be. Couple this with increases in sedentary jobs, obesity, hypertension, and then inevitable heart issues that accompany this, seeing the lowering testosterone rates et al, the man is maybe in a more high-risk environment today than fighting animals and each other in the Colosseum during the Roman Empire.

This isn’t intended to be a Playpen topic, but I figured it would interesting fodder for a Roundtable discussion. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a girl dad, but I am noticing a certain lack of initiative, energy, and masculinity in the few suitors I’ve seen around my girls. Hell, my girls seem more boy than boys sometimes, and I’m not ashamed of that. I’m raising them to have a shotgun mind and a shotgun voice so that I don’t have to use an actual shotgun someday, so that’s self-preservation, if anything else.

But the shocking lack of hero movies, comedies, and even social or print media that I enjoyed as a young man seems to be disappearing, if not gone altogether. Is it because there’s not an appetite for it? Similarly, as a former coach, the number of boys stepping forward to want to play football has my coach’s heart breaking, and I worry that not only will the sport I love someday dissipate, but will lack the bravado and daring to even sign up for tryouts in the future result in the disappearance of my favorite sport altogether?

What do you think? Is the American male a dying breed? What’s causing it and what can be done?

51 thoughts on “Tuesday Refugee Roundtable – The Dying Man”

  1. I don’t intend to be highly political because I can’t stand the personality of DJT, but this change has been fed by the “Woke” generation. Our Universities and indeed our whole educational systems have strayed to the “Everyone Gets a Trophy” from the “there are winners and there are underachievers” generation. I firmly believe the reason this past election occurred as it did is because real men and real women (Blue Collar folks and white collar Folks who get off their ass at home and do the man chores rather than hiring them off) are fed up. Entitlements, spending excessively and not managing a budget and a totally unlawful populace when it comes to their agenda (Immigration, Political Targeting and excess government) have finally sickened enough Old Timey Americans to rise up. Will real men evolve again? I’m not sure I am convinced, but I do now see some hope.

    My opinion is all. You can have yours; I’ll keep mine.

    Aladawg

  2. I’ve subscribed to Brooks’ podcast for a while now and have really learned a lot about the game in that time. I highly recommend it. Theo Von is a hoot. He is the very definition of DNGAF.

  3. Whoa…so many potential triggers in this discussion starting with the definition of “American male”. That concept alone is under scrutiny for real and/or perceived biases that some feel is blocking a pathway to equality. Right or wrong those arguments have altered what it means to be a “man” in many ways. I suppose it’s evolutionary. John Wayne movie roles taught some of us what it takes to be a man. Kevin Costner’s similar roles expose fatal flaws in a man’s morality. So we’re constantly questioning the premise and definitions which leads to change. There’s no going back so things like youth football will inevitably adapt…or die. We love the stories of RangerRuss’ exploits, but probably also use them to teach our young boys not to act that way when they grow up.

  4. So, quick aside her. My wife is a CPA and she had a client who was a bit Seinfeld fan. He actually created a charity called “The Human Fund”. Money for people.

  5. I unsubscribed from Brooks a while back as he didn’t call out things he said he would in years past.

    As for the traditional” man is disappearing take, IMO Brooks is a new version of low class boisterous machismo which is not what the greatest generation would act like in public. It is the new counter woke and just as bad.

  6. The most obvious dynamic is that female reliance upon men’s money as security is going, if not gone, away. That is a difficult social phenomenon to incorporate into the culture. Mix that with female sexual liberation as well and its a really a new world that is being adjusted to.

    Whether we want to accept the reality or not, once hormones hit us “dudes” we are going to do whatever the fuck it appears necessary to gain some attention. We will sell what they are buying and we are shameless.

    If that’s doing your hair pretty and painting your fingernails, guys will do that. Maybe its weights. Maybe its a guitar. Maybe its getting the education to put yourself in position to earn a good living. (That last one tends to be the enduring one. That other shit has an expiration of about age 27. Unless you’re Mick Jagger.)

    Women are sorting through what their expectations are and ought to be and men will fill whatever void is presented to them, literally and figuratively.

    One dynamic that gets more attention these days, though I think its always been there, is those who feel that they are being left out and rather than trying to correct, they give up and blame and point fingers.

    The truth though is that pretty much any human who attends to basic hygiene and, if a female, can cook a meal, and if a guy, can keep a job, will find someone out there who will put up with their sorry ass.

    Finally, I would in all sincerity suggest that if you “manscape” then fuck you. You are definitely part of the problem.

  7. My heroes have always been cowboys
    And they still are, it seems
    Sadly, in search of, but one step in back of
    Themselves and their slow-movin’ dreams

    You know strong male role models like Rock Hudson in Showdown, Randolph Scott in Comanche Station and to a lesser degree James Dean in Giant.

    • And you always knew that they could take just as good as they could give.

  8. I’m not looking to Hollywood for male or female role models. John Wayne was a tool. He had to be physically restrained from attacking a woman, Sacheen Little feather, when she was accepting Marlon Brando’s Oscar. He was gung ho about blacklisting actors and writers who might have been involved in the communist party. And Wayne is just one example of the douche bags that want to be famous actors.

    My dad was a decent role model despite his flaws. I’ll take the lessons I learned from him over any actor.

  9. Maybe men, like America, have just gotten too soft. It’s too easy to get by without as much effort. In the past you had to be able to do things (change a tire, cut grass, make a dollar, drive a tractor, etc.). If you’re not careful these days, your kids grow up with a computer in their hand and they get anything they want without really working for it. Sometimes, I think parents take the easy way out by completely spoiling their kids, and then using the tablet or iPhone to get em off your back. Studies show that the constant staring at phones and computers has literally affected their brain. This, coupled with free money, leads to a lot of males who don’t have those traditional traits which I think are important. Instead, they go where the world-wide-web leads them!

    These are probably just a few of many causes, but I know if you want to raise a boy whose not likely to lack “man” traits, it takes a lot of effort. It takes even more effort to make sure your girls appreciate a boy whose worth a shit.

    • I’ve never been convinced from any evidence that “traditional” roles or skills make anyone more or less of a man. The reverse is true as well. I don’t think I’ve seen any evidence of girls wanting to play sports, hunt or fish makes them lesser women.

      In my mind, what a man does is sacrifice himself for the greater good of his family, team, country. That’s what a man does.

      He mans a post. He works a job, sometimes a thankless and miserable one. He takes on a block so his teammate can make the tackle. He does this without complaint or need for recognition. He does it, because he’s fucking supposed to.

      A man does not seek glory or admiration or wealth though all or none may come as a consequence of doing something well.

      He leads by example through sacrifice, always.

      I don’t give one fuck if he can dress a gd deer.

      What makes a woman?

      Seeing all of that work and sacrifice and being generally underwhelmed by all of it.

      • I very much agree with your definition of a man. Pretty much describes my dad, who couldn’t give a shit about hunting a deer (or even watching a football game). But men who can do what you described generally will work their ass off, can “do stuff”, and don’t spend all of their free time sitting around looking at a screen and getting shit for free.

        Not so sure I can go along with your last paragraph.

      • “Seeing all of that work and sacrifice and being generally underwhelmed by all of it.” – That’s funny right there, I don’t care who you are!

  10. My daughter’s suitors have been pretty underwhelming and I’m not really that hard to please. None have shown to be future golf buddies, do much of anything around the house/property, cook, or pay attention to football/sport for entertainment. The kinds of things that got me close to my father in law.

    • You’ve brought a valid discussion to the table, the computer age/internet/the two income household has taken the man in America down a peg or three, he’s gone from the main event to a distant 3rd place, for 2 maybe 3 decades he has found a decent way to earn a living using less muscle, ingenuity, using more (potential) brain power sitting at a monitor watching or waiting, tied to a fucking paid podcast for two hours listening to asswipes discuss WTF ever, that ain’t striking any fear into the hearts/minds of any potential suitors for your beloved family, if no one comes through that door that can’t meet or exceed your standard, politely close the door and ‘splain to your daughter, this isn’t the time and move on…life is short, protect your family/loved ones like there is no tomorrow, all the way to your last breath…GAWD Bless America and raise a glass to the Men who built her…GO DAWGS!!

  12. My father is my role model. He grew up during the depression, fought in WWII, was shot down over Germany and spent 16 months in a Nazi prison camp. Came home, married and raised a family. He and my mother stayed together until death. I think those are “real man” bona fides. But he didn’t feel the need to wear that on his sleeve. Chief taught me: to treat everyone with respect and dignity, be honest, always use my manners, put others needs ahead of my own, treat visitors and strangers with abundant hospitality, give generously, never break a promise, win graciously, lose the same way. When you mess up, take responsibility. When you are unkind, apologize. He also taught me to be politically and economically astute. I’ve met very few people who genuinely understand other human beings and the human condition in general the way he did. Yes, he could get in your face and he did when he needed to, but generally speaking Chief was a soft spoken man who preferred to make friends. I’ve tried to live the same way. I doubt anyone who knows me would describe me as a man’s man and that doesn’t bother me in the least.

      • Yeas, we called him Chief. The nickname was given to him by a group German merchant marines who frequented a bar we had on River Street in Savannah. It stuck.

        • When I was in the crews we had a great foreman, we called him “Chief”.
          I called RangerRuss Chief once. He went on a two hour tirade about how he was an Airborne Officer not a bleepity blanking Naval bleeping enlisted blanking blank and unless I wanted some REALLY horrible bleeping shit done to my rotting corpse after he’d blanked me to death I’d better learn some bleepity blanking respect.
          Then he wouldn’t speak to me for a few days.
          LMAO. Touchy Old Bastard, he was…

          • The Germans called him Chief because on a German merchant marine ship the captain is called Chief. On their first trip to America they could speak very little English. “Chief” and “seven and seven” were pretty much the extent of their vocabulary. They ran a regular route up the coast of South America, then the eastern seaboard of the U.S., back to Germany, rinse and repeat. We became good friends and their English improved considerably. Eventually, everyone who knew my father called him Chief. He never objected to being called Chief despite being a major in the Army Air Corps.

  13. Let me get this straight – you applaud a guy who called every body elses fan base a MF and said fucku’m. A guy who goes into somebody elses store and lights up a cigarette and tells them to FO. I think Ranger Russ, rest in peace, was an asshole of a human. People like him are burning Teslas.

    • He could rip me a new one and he could be as friendly as an old buddy in another thread. Either way, maybe that’s another lost art, seeing some good in someone who can be an ass at times and not feeling the need to cancel them for their perceived faults. I guess to each their own, but I enjoyed his presence while he was with us.

    • RR was damn sure an asshole (and owned it), but he was honest. You didn’t have to agree with him. I always appreciated that.

  14. Damn I’m late to the party. It depends on where you spend most of your time. In major urban centers yes being a man is no longer fashionable. Being a man that acts like a man is anyway. You’re supposed to drive a Prius, be afraid of the Karen that’s waiting for you in your little suburban hell of desperation. And you are supposed to only use appropriate language.

    I live in the country. We don’t play that shit here. I could give a tinker’s damn about HR department approved language or what is deemed appropriate by the sort nutless wonders that think the Playpen here is anything other than a bad comedy. There is nothing noble about being a pussy. There is nothing heroic about being hen pecked. And if you married some flat chested, ironing board for an ass Karen with a bad personality and a persecution complex even though ain’t nobody doing better in this country than white women, that’s your own damn fault.

    I was raised by a two tour Vietnam veteran who expected us to call all women ma’am, open doors for them, help them with anything they were carrying, but not to be drug around by the dick by any woman.

    I did two tours in the Middle East as a Marine and make my living as a welder. Weak men who are proud of being g weak men are both pitiful and hilarious to me. We have some of those type guys here although thank God there aren’t near as many as GTP and the Perimeter Mafia that was so prevalent there.

    Anybody offended by any of this, believe me when I say this, while you’re off in some other shit hole big city because HR has demanded you go for a sensitivity conference or some other such emasculation, your Karen is likely riding on the back of a Harley driven by a guy like me who is taking her to Pound Town the entire time you’re away. That’s the truth.

    • Get back under the hood, Cooley. You ain’t getting paid to type…:)

    • This blog post is a prime example of online rhetoric that prioritizes emotional impact over reasoned argument. It is a very opinionated piece that has very little fact to back it up. It relies on stereotypes and offensive language to convey its message.

      • That’s your opinion. Maybe get outside your bubble. Being a wimp might seem normal to you but in lots of places it’s still just being a wimp. What makes a man hasn’t changed no matter how badly weak men want that to be the case. Listen to young women now. They all want to know where all the real men their age are. Women who talk about “toxic masculinity” end up cheating on their henpecked husbands with cage fighters and such.

        • When you say ‘real men,’ what specific qualities are you referring to? And what evidence do you have to support the claim that most women prefer those qualities?

          While anecdotal evidence can be compelling, it doesn’t represent the full complexity of gender dynamics. Numerous studies and social analyses contradict the idea that all women desire traditionally masculine men, or that ‘toxic masculinity’ is a myth. It’s more productive to discuss these issues with a focus on data and diverse perspectives.

          • Not very scientific of you and I’m not interested in pseudo intellectual nonsense. Psychology has more than enough data on this to bury whatever cherry picked data you are pulling from. Women dont prefer effeminate men with narrow shoulders, weak chins, and buggy whip arms. If that’s truly controversial to you then you’re the one that needs a more diverse perspective.

            Do some reading about the most popular female sexual fantasies. The archetypes are pirate, cowboy, werewolf, vampire, doctor. Male feminist who can’t change a tire just doesn’t come up. So maybe instead of trying to subvert nature you ought to hit the gym, learn to do some first echelon automotive maintenance/carpentry skills etc. Or if you’re a guy with a high earning job all you have to do is maybe put on some muscle and get in a Brazilian Jujitsu class so you don’t seem like such a punk despite having the money.

            Human nature is what it is. Women don’t like weak men. They also are miserable if they reach a certain age and haven’t had children. Plenty of data on that too. If that’s really news to you, you need to demand your money back from whatever college put those ideas in your head. Do you have data that says women prefer candy asses? I doubt it. And if you then why was Fifty Shades of Grey so popular?

          • You speak like a middle schooler , balls, cunt, bitch. Your insults and name calling aren’t even clever . I’m surprised you’re still at this . Don’t you have werewolves or pirates to fantasize about? I’m off to the gym now. Enjoy the rest of your sad , hate filled life

        • What are you going on about with werewolves and changing tires? If you want to fuck a tire changing werewolf, just say it.

          You sound so silly and bitter your assumptions.

          Don’t get that blood pressure up too much , you’ll soon be another boomer that will croak and no one will care.

          • Also, I graduated from UGA, you know the school your cheer for , but clearly never attended?You’re one sad old man

          • Sounds like your blood pressure is up. Congrats on going to UGA. I only served my country in two wars as a Marine. But please co tinier about your degree.

          • There you go. Let it out. I know being a cunt weighs on you. Let out that pent up rage. Now go join a gym tomorrow, learn how to build and/or fix something. Go get somebody to teach you how to defend yourself so you dont have to worry about getting your ass kicked. You’re on your way.

          • Your blood pressure retort was simply repeating back what is said . Nice middle school response .

            Wow you served in the Middle East in two wars . Congratulations on helping destabilize the Middle East . You must be so proud, I see why you make it a personality trait .

          • Cool shit. Wow. You went to college. Something millions of people have done and something that takes absolutely no balls. Your momma must be so proud. But I bet your daddy ain’t.😆

          • I don’t need to join a gym when I already am a member 😂 you sound like a clown making threats behind a keyboard. 5:50 pm is awfully early for a dementia sundown .

          • You feel threatened? By a comment on a blog. Oh you’re one of those safe space kids. Don’t worry, little buddy. If you thought I was threatening you I didn’t do it on purpose. I don’t speak bitch so there’s a language barrier.

  15. What a great post and comments. It’s clear, most of y’all liked Ranger as much as I did. I somehow missed the Ranger Russ tribute, so I went back and read it tonight. I have to admit my eyes got a little moist when I was reading the comments and remembering all the great conversations me and Ranger had on GTP classic. I know, Ranger would probably be calling me a pussy about right now. That’s OK Ranger, fuck you too. Damn, I missed that guy.

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