Here ya go.
Alright, I’ll bite. There were times my dad took me to a “grown up” movie and I lived to regret it, somewhat. Here’s my short list of films I might’ve been better off for not seeing as a kid:
Robocop, 1987
I have to admit, watching Peter Weller’s hand getting blown off in the first minutes of the movie made me queasy. Yeesh
Gremlins, 1984
What could go wrong, right? There was a cute, adorable fuzzy creature on the playbills, if you will, but it was the first PG-13 movie in America for a reason. Actually, that’s just a rumor, as it’s explained here:
As the big man on campus, Spielberg received the brunt of this criticism. He responded by rightfully deflecting the matter to the MPAA and casually suggesting that the organization change its rating system to address these concerns. And shockingly, they listened. Within two months, the MPAA introduced a new rating: PG-13, which suggested parental guidance to children under the age of 13. This rating also mandated that only one F-bomb could be used in a PG-13 film.
So, maybe it wasn’t Gremlins, but it was another I maybe shouldn’t have watched:
Red Dawn, 1984
So let’s instill a fear of WWIII while also encouraging youth to be the fighters of the Free World. Seeing Powers Booth die was traumatic, to an extent, but the thought of dying at high school, as bad ad high school was, was terrifying.
So how about you…what’s a movie you shouldn’t have seen, if you could go back and change it?
Children of the Corn scared me the death!
When I was 8 years old my mom took my older sister and I to see The Exorcist.
I remember reading the Bible every night for the rest of the summer and trying to God I would not become possessed. My sister had a lot of fun rolling your eyes up and sang in and gravelly voice that she’s the devil and I would run to Mom saying that she was messing with me.
The Day After got me. I was terrified of Russians and nuclear war for most of my childhood as a result. I watched the Shining at a friend’s house way too early also. That one still gives me chills. l’ll hate long hotel hallways forever.
Same here with The Day After. My parents had sent me to bed, but I snuck down the hall and cracked the den door and watched it. Screwed me up for a couple of years, too.
We didn’t go to enough movies when I was a kid to have this experience. I do remember the original Nightmare on Elm Street scaring the $#!+ out of me when a friend rented it for a party.
I still haven’t watched the original Halloween.
Yeah, Freddy Krueger’s kills really went outside the box of my theories on defending my friends and stressed me. Probably the only slasher film that put me to the test courage-wise.
Marley and Me.
I was dimly aware it was based on a book a guy wrote about his golden retriever. My (then) wife had read it. Assured me it was wonderful. This was a few months after I had to put down my golden, who had become suddenly ill. I liked goldens, she seemed eager to go, what could go wrong?
Well, Marley, the beloved golden, got sick. And the story was basically the family’s anguish over trying to save him. Probably mid-way through the movie, I started to cry, which quickly escalated into great, heaving, wracking sobs. Literally had to go into the lobby to try to gain control over myself. Made the mistake of sucking it up and going back in. Got to relive my own painful decision as the movie family made the agonizing decision to put Marley down. I finally had the sobs under control, but I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much in 2 hours in my entire life.
If I had a glimmer of an idea what it was about, I would never have gone to see it. Some experiences, you just don’t need to relive, or re-examine. In hindsight, I suppose I should be mad about not being told what the story was really about. At best, a tone deaf mistake. It’s been 16 or 17 years, but I haven’t made that mistake again.
I know, “it’s just a dog.” And I’m not considered an overly sentimental or sensitive person. But that one hit me hard in just the wrong place at just the wrong time. I guess I’m over it, but I won’t ever forget it. Or resent having gone to see it. Live and learn.
They’re more than friends. Dog is God spelled backwards for a reason. Training a new shelter rescue now. She’s a handful for sure but totally worth it..I hope. 🤣
As the saying goes, put your wife in the trunk of your car for a few hours and she’ll come out mad as hell and that will be the end. Put your dog in the trunk for a couple of hours, open the trunk, and they’ll be glad as hell to see you. Now that’s unconditional love.
“Honey…I want to run an experiment. Can you come out to the garage?”
The Lair of the White Worm.
Pets are family. Sometimes, the very best friend we have. There’s never any shame in grieving the loss of a pet, regardless of when or where it occurs.
“The Art of Racing in the Rain” is a great book. I never watched the movie as not to spoil it. And they’re never just a dog.
On of my favorites.
Fried Green Tomatoes horrified me. I had to sleep with a light on for years.
After “Misery” anything with Kathy Bates gives me nightmares, even after watching “No Way Out”…
I saw Alice’s Restaurant with Arlo Guthrie when I was 11. Nothing scary, but there was a topless woman.
My wife suggested we take the kids to a drive in theatre before they were gone. Sounded like fun so sure you pick the where and the movies. She said there was a new comedy movie out called Pulp Fiction. My kids were 5-9 it’s hard to cover four eyes and four ears with two hands while the wife is screaming. As I was rapidly driving away the kids were still trying to watch. The kids still remind me not to allow their mother to choose movies for my grandchildren.
Fletch.
My dad took me to see “Animal House” when I turned 16. My mother wanted to know what kind of movie this was. My dad (UGA microbiology professor at the time) said it was a “wildlife documentary.” Mom said, “O.K.”
My dad wasn’t lying. It was the best wildlife documentary ever. Anyway, I felt like a man walking out of that theater. I believe it was the old Classic Triple.
When I was three or four, my parents bundled me in the back of the VW squareback and we took off for an evening at the drive-in. The feature was a grindhouse version of German fairytales – in other words, fairytales with grisly endings, not the sanitized versions we get in the US.
I was dozing off when I heard, “There is blood in the shoe, Cinderella,” and freaked out. In my half-conscious state, I thought proto-Gestapo had come to slice off my feet.
I’m pretty sure we didn’t stick around ’til the end of the movie. After that, I don’t recall seeing anything at the drive-in more hard core than “Dumbo”.
Duel as a pre-teen alone at home while my parents were out. To this day I hate passing big rigs and especially old gas tankers. Speilberg’s first I think.
While it didn’t really scare me, it was certainly intense. I still remember the tension.
Looked it up. Released in 1972 as one of the first made for TV movies and only released to theaters in Europe later. I would have been 9 when it debuted.
My brother convinced our grandmother that “Heavy Metal” was a kids cartoon, so she suggested he take his then 10-year old brother (me). I never wanted to see a cartoon movie again. The next summer he took me to a music movie: “The Wall.” I never wanted to shave when the time came…IYKYK.
About 2 years later I went to see “Red Dawn” on opening day. In the theater were me, my friend Paul, and about 400 Army Rangers from Ft. Stewart. It. Was. Awesome.
OK, I will show my age.
The Creature From The Black Lagoon
The Wizard of Oz is my all-time favorite movie. Growing up, used to watch it when it came on television once a year. Got the vertical and horizontal holds just right on our new color tv, then was amazed by the picture change from black and white to color when Dorothy landed in Oz. Probably still watch it a couple of times a year now. But to this day, I still close my eyes and cringe as the munchkin’s voices and the music crescendos, and the Wicked of the West make her first appearance as she jumps out of the fire and smoke. And don’t get me started on the flying monkeys.
I was scared as heck of the flying monkeys. Would jump up on mama’s lap and close my eyes.
The flying monkeys gave 8 year old me bad dreams for years. FTMF.😉
This TV Guide description of The Wizard of Oz has shown up a couple of times in my social feeds in the last week. Funny …
“Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then meets up with three strangers to kill again.”
https://x.com/LloydChristma1/status/1992308901212213304?s=20
As a kid, I watched “Night Stalker” on the Movie of the week. That one kept me up that night. That was on me, though.
I didn’t go with my parents but went with my brother and some friends to see The Exorcist. How we got in I have know idea. We were probably 11 or 12. BIG MISTAKE! My behind couldn’t sleep for a while after watching it. Scared the $h!t out of me.
I have never been horror movie fan and I don’t really seek it out even if it becomes acclaimed. Also, I tend stay away from those “dystopian future” movies/shows where kids are essentially assassins, fighters, hunters and they are killing other kids.
It’s interesting that you mention Red Dawn which I saw in the theater. I walked out not only not phased by it but thinking how implausible the plot was. It was later in life that I learned the original script had a much different tone (it was famously anti-war & much darker) but when it came time to make the movie the studio picked John Milius who had described himself as a “Zen anarchist, right-wing extremist, and Maoist!”
Milius reworked the script, with among others then current Secretary of State Alexander Haig, which made the tone less “anti-war” more “peace through strength.” It was released in 1984, the year after the Reagan administration had proposed “Star Wars Defense Initiative.” Ironically, Milius and George Lucas were classmates at USC in the 1960’s. Milius was the “model” for John Milner in “American Graffiti” directed by Lucas.
You’ve probably already figured out, based on the above information, that the same vested interests who run Hollywood also run the global military industrial complex, and that movies like that are mostly propaganda used to push pro-war narratives into the minds of the public.
Yeah I am wise to that but its the first I have heard of a Secretary of State being involved in a script rework and its not during an active military conflict.
There are books that make the claim that all of Hollywood is an intelligence operation with the guise of entertainment, but who knows?
exhibit A for why children of late 60s, 70s, & early 80s ain’t soft Pawwwwwl.
Had no idea what it was about but it was rated M (days before R, PG, etc.) and most early puberty boys will jump at the chance to see any T&A. Slipped in to see the Christine Jorgensen Story. Needless to say we left early. Enough to almost turn me against it.
I did say almost.
LMAO. The “Sugar Hill Drive In” showed XXX movies and was a pretty easy bike ride from my buddy’s house, 1980ish. They wouldn’t let us in (obviously) but there was a spot on the hill where a few eagle-eyed pre-teen boys could learn all kinds of stuff.
Schindler’s List.
On Christmas Day.
At a packed Phipps Plaza theater.
Only gentiles in the place.
My folks didn’t get much wrong, but hoo boy this was a miss for the ages.
Oh, my.