Good morning. It’s the offseason. News is slow. So, even though Ranger Russ is no longer with us to liven up this discussion, let’s do it anyway. For RR!
Idiom: A speech form or an expression of a given language that is peculiar to itself grammatically or cannot be understood from the individual meanings of its elements, as in keep tabs on.
‘Round here, we call them sayings.
I’ll start with a few but, I need y’all to give me some good ones in the comments. Ready? Here we go…
He’s crazier than a sprayed roach.
Like playing whiffle ball on a gravel road, too much can go wrong.
Fighting like the 3rd monkey trying to get on Noah’s ark.
Okay, have at it!
Go Dawgs!
She’s crazier than a shit house rat.
That’s as fucked up as a soup sandwich.
You can break an anvil with a banana.
Crazy as a catfish in a car wash.
So ugly she could back lightning up a stump.
Hard as woodpecker lips.
Shaking a like a dog shitting peach seeds.
Sharp enough to cut a floating turd without making a ripple.
Ugly as mud.
Asshole deep to a tall Indian.
Cold as a well digger’s ass.
Sweating like a whore in church.
I’ll let that do it for now. Those of us out here in the hinterlands who never moved to the concrete jungle still talk like this. Good idea, Otis and good to see you around. RIP Ranger Russ.
he’s so dumb, if it was raining soup, he’d be outside with a fork.
happier than a puppy with two peters
i’m full as a tick
hotter than georgia asphalt in july
For heavy rains my dad would say:
“Like a cow pissing on a flat rock” or
“It’s a toad-strangler out there”
my granddaddy would always say…”it’s a great day for ducks”
Chicken turd floater.
Frog strangle.
Damnit, frog strangler.
He’s so skinny, he’s only got 1 stripe on his pajamas.
Busier than a one armed paper hanger with jock itch.
That boy was so ugly his Mama fed him with a slingshot.
That boy ain’t the smartest peanut in the turd.
That truck wouldn’t pull a greasy string out of a dog’s ass.
Harder than a minister’s root at a church reunion.
His dick was so hard a cat couldn’t scratch it.
It’s drier than a popcorn fart.
As slick as cat shit on linoleum.
Easier than finding rat turds in rice.
His sister is so ugly, they had to tie a porkchop around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
We ate so much softshell turtle growing up, the shithouse crawled off.
He couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat.
Rain’s coming down like it was poured out of a boot.
Her pants are so tight you can see her religion.
And, while not an idiom, but hilarious, Lewis Grizzard’s comment about the other team’s cheerleaders: How ‘bout Them dogs?
Slick as owl shit on a hickory limb.
Hot as hell’s front porch.
His breath could knock a buzzard off an outhouse.
Ugly as homemade sin.
Lost as Moody’s goose.
Tough as a lightered stump.
She’s so fat every time she turns around you have to give her a welcome back party.
Colder than a witch’s titty in a brass bra.
So fat, if you told her haul ass she’d need a wheelbarrow.
I didn’t know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted.
With those buck teeth he could eat an ear of corn through a picket fence.
I know it’s not as unusual as some of the others posted above, but I always like, ‘well cut my legs off and call me shorty’.
Blind in one eye, and couldn’t see out of the other.
Don’t let the door hit’ya where the Good Lord split’ya
(impossible approach to a green) Boy, that pin is dog dick tight.
Louder than two skeletons ****ing on a tin roof in the rain
They fell out of the ugly tree and hit every damn limb.
She’s got a face that would make the train take a dirt road.
Tougher than trying to screw a bobcat in a phone booth.
Uglier than a burnt stump.
Grinning like a mule eating briars
Drunker than Cooter Brown
Raised on possum, won’t eat coon.
frog tight
She looks so good I’d dry hump her shadow on a gravel drive.
good lord willin’ and the creeks don’t rise
we’re fixin’ to kick clampsons ass
The obvious? FTMF!
Ugly as ten acres of burnt off swamp land.
Stinks like a five gallon bucket of get back.
When somebody runs; opened up a big can of GONE.
You had a great one down below talking about enjoying watching George Pickens ‘load that little shit’s wagon for him.’
Thanks. Like I say these sayings are still in everyday use where I live and it’s almost a point to try and outdo people with original or obscure ones for some people. One Inuse on my daughter a lot is, “If I tell you a pig can drive a Cadillac you hand him the keys.” when she thinks I’m just talking and don’t mean what I’m saying. Which brings another good one to mind. When somebody won’t heed other people’s advice or warnings and always has to find out the hard way; they don’t believe lard’s greasy.
I know a few 🤓
Slicker than cum on a gold tooth
She’s as fine as frog hair
Shitting like a crippled coon
Her face looked like 5 miles of bad road
My stomach is so messed up I could shit through a screen door
I’m so confused I don’t know if I should shit or go blind
That girl has summer teeth…some are here some are there
I truly miss RR…rest in peace
Me too. I think we all do. He’s a big part of why I want this thing to continue. I wish I had made an effort to meet him. In one of the game day threads one morning I mentioned that I was posting from a deer stand over a creek bottom. We had a good conversation about hunting and when I was posting under a different screen name for a little while Russ always remembered it was me and referred to me as Mike. Damn good dawg and even better fella.
I suspect Ol’ RangerRuss is grinning like a jackass eating briars reading these over in Valhalla.
damn skippy, uncle Got
When referring to a pretty lady, she’s:
Forgot one, hungry enough to chase a ham sammich up a hog’s ass.
This one has multiple uses. It can be when somebody has done some sloppy work but it can be used for anything that looks bad; looks like a hog’s ass sewed up with barbed wire.
couple more…
That girl is so ugly, the only thing that looks good on her is distance
He lies so much, if bullshit was electricity, that sumbitch would be a powerhouse
She’s so sad, she’s lower than a rattlesnake’s bellybutton
He’s so tight, you couldn’t get a pin up his ass with a jackhammer
Higher than giraffe pussy
That girl gets around…she’s been run through more than a middle school hallway
That boy is so cockeyed his tears zigzag
Just like a bicycle with no seat, I’m gonna get in yo ass
I’m broke as an Amish electrician
Don’t let your mouth write a check that your ass can’t cash.
the proverbial fuck around and find out…love it
“Don’t let your alligator mouth overload your hummingbird ass”.
A better version of a blind squirrel finding a nut – even the sun shines on a dog’s ass sometimes.
handy as a shirt pocket
tougher’n Chinese arithmetic
hornier’n a three-balled goat
straight as a cat’s whisker
uglier’n a mud fence
more full’a shit than three feet up a bull’s ass
tight as dick’s hatband
sharp as a marble
harder’n a preacher’s dick
when referring to cheap perfume; smells like “midnight in Doraville”
tough as a lighter knot
If my aunt had nuts, she’d be my uncle.
An addition to yours above: Fighting like the 3rd monkey trying to get on Noah’s Ark. And brother, it just started raining.
damn, that supper was so good, I’m about as full as tick on a tampon
Hey, Freezer! With a little effort, you could be downright disgusting!😃
Billy! All you would need to add to that is the world needs ditch diggers too, and you’d be quoting what my HS guidance counselor repeatedly said to me.🧐
LMAO. Our HS Counselor was apparently who “Mr. Mackey” was based on; except he made a little kissy sound every time he opened his mouth to speak… So, we had the mandatory senior year meeting…
HSC: *kiss* Well Got, I’m required to speak to you about your future and your plans after graduation. *kiss* I guess you’ll take some time off from school and work for your uncle’s plumbing company?
Me: No Sir, I’m going to UGA.
HSC: *kiss* Well that’s nice. But you might want to have a backup plan in case you aren’t accepted.
Me: I’m already accepted. (Shows acceptance letter)
*kiss* “No shit?”
“No shit.”
(crickets) *kiss* “Well good luck then!”
Turns out the fucker was right the whole time 😉
hahaha, that is a relatable story…my HS guidance counselor didn’t think too highly of me my senior year either…in retrospect, maybe I should have avoided “hanging” out with his daughter my junior year…but man I had a thing for big haired country girls back then.
As a dad now, I get where he was coming from…he was far more professional then than I would have been if it had been my daughter.
I hammer like lightning, I never hit the same spot twice.
A variation of a previous one… That boy could F up a steel ball with a rubber mallet.
That boy ain’t got sense enough to pour piss out of a boot.
I wouldn’t piss in his ear if his brain was on fire.
i wouldn’t give him the sweat off my balls if he was dyin’ of thirst!
full of shit as a Christmas turkey
sticks out like a turd in a punch bowl or a hair on a biscuit
that went over like a lead ballon or a fart in a spacesuit.
if you ain’t the lead dog, the view stinks
damn, didn’t know we lost RR, he was my fave. how long ago did he pass?
It wasn’t too long after we lost the Senator. Like weeks apart.
Wow, can’t believe I missed that. Very sorry to hear that. If I made a duplicate comment on this please erase.
Cleared. No worries
This one I heard from a Florence SC DA talking to a fella about his 5th DUI…
He says Ray Ray….
You may not learn… but you will be taught…
That came in handy raising 3 Boys…
I’ll quote Daniel B. Torrance Jr, a great American, my best friend from high school: She don’t have the good sense God gave a sofa cushion.
I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.
Shit-eating grin.
Liar liar pants on fire.
I stand corrected. First it was “He’d fuck a snake if he could get someone to hold it still” then the pile of rocks thing.
Don’t know if anyone will even see this one being it’s so late and all, but it’s a goodun’. A buddy of mine in college used to tell these crazy stories about his hunting club friends back in his hometown of Pembroke, Ga. Went home with him one weekend to hear some for myself (and to go on over to nearby Savannah to party). We went out to the camp checking in out on Saturday afternoon. First thing I noticed was a sign on the wall that said: Early to bed, early to rise. Fish like hell, and make up lies. They had a big garden there we were looking at and I asked the guy if the peppers they were growing were hot. He said, “They’re so damn hot, if you put them in your refrigerator, they’ll defrost your damn freezer.” 🤣
My favorite butcher at the meat market was an older little gentleman nicknamed ‘Skeeter’. Funny guy. Every time I asked him how he was doing he said, “I’m hanging in there like a black hair in a biscuit.”
nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
What a gal! She had legs all the way up to her ass!!
He couldn’t score in a women’s prison with a whole stack of pardons!!
grinnin’ like a ‘possum eatin’ shit off a hair brush
don’t know come ‘ere from sic ’em
The other day one of our illustrious posters (sorry can’t remember who) said of the Atlanta Falcons: if they ran a funeral home people would stop dying.