We have a semifinal matchup that would make your average Georgia fan pray for a bowl game to be played on the top of an active volcano. Thanks to everyone who inserted their inputs into the coin toss between Alabama and Florida, as well as our NIT playoff bracket.
Here’s our semifinal matchups:
Florida vs. Ohio State
In a rematch of the 2007 National Championship game, we have the winos versus the whiners. For every refrain of “bUt MaRvIn HaRrIsOn” we’ve heard since the famous midnight miracle to every jorts wearing, mullet-headed redneck bowing to the pulpit of Tim Tebow, this is a matchup that insults both the eyes and the ears. When these two face off, there’s no winner, just losers.
Tennessee vs. Texas
Who is the real UT? In another matchup that offends the senses as well as everyone’s patience, we have two Blue Bloods of blathering when it comes to their perceived “respect”. This could be called the Manning Bowl, featuring the wunderkind Arch who I’m sure many in Knoxville believes will be headed to Neyland via a top-secret last minute NIL deal to carry on the Manning legacy in 2025. Maybe the two programs will do a QB switch, sending Nico to a place where his requested payday can easily be met while Manning can go and learn from the greatest offensive mind not named Mike Bobo in Josh Hype-ul. Orange everywhere, mustard and water bottles being tossed on the field, and a death match between the UTs that will lead to more UTIs than it will to championships. Yecch.
NIT Final: Georgia Tech vs. South Carolina
Honestly, I have a hard time differentiating between these two fan bases. They so deeply hate Georgia that their narratives and attitudes are so in sync that it’s like they are satellite campuses. They both have perhaps the stupidest mascots in Cocky and Buzz, believe that their game day environments are second-to-none, and the fan bases are more aggressive and violent than Roadhouse on a Friday evening. These two are so insufferable that they canceled a 2021-2022 home and home series with one another.
Weigh in by completing the semifinal poll by mashing here. Window closes Wednesday night.
Had a hard time with the NIT selection, they’re both just so insufferable. It’s tosu & the vowels for my final.
Very difficult choices each being a meteor game.
If we can only select where the meteor can land.
Hillbillies and Handbags for me. One for their pure stupidity and the other for their all-around obnoxiousness.
The NIT champ is easy … Fech fans especially the Booby Dudd like ones on StinkTalk make me wish a massive sinkhole would open between I-75 and Northside Drive and North Avenue and 10th Street.
How do I pick against Florida in this scenario? It almost came down to regionalism. The Suckeyes had the edge because they’re Yankees. And then it dawned on me, as much as so many Georgia fans love to characterize Florida fans as the sort of people you run into at a dirt track race (not that I’ve never been to any of those my damn self) the truth is most of that fan base is made up of transplant Yankees who became Florida fans in the nineties. So as awful as Ohio State fans are, at least they mostly keep their asses up there and haven’t invaded down here.
As much as I hate the Unge, Texas wins because of their sense of entitlement.
As for Tech and SC, Tech knows they suck. Hell most of this generation of Tech students are Georgia fans. SC honest to God thinks they’re good and just this close to a national title. SC wins.
Choosing was tougher than I thought – what a loathsome assortment – but it’s anOSU vs the Hillbillies for me. About 20 years ago, I might have picked Florida fans over Buckeye backers but their malevolence has been in decline since Irvin Meyers bid a French goodbye to hogtown. Texas might well rise to #1 on my shitlist – and soon – but the contempt familiarity is breeding isn’t at Rocky Top levels just yet.
Of course, all of this is off the table if we lose to Tech again. On the rare occasions that happens, they are a special kind of insufferable every single day for the next 364 days.
Florida, Tennessee, Georgia Tech
To hell with all of them. But it is impressive that an osu is able to compete with these three without wearing any orange. They even try to wear something that’s supposed to look like red and black, bless their hearts.
OSU, Texas, & Tech for me
Ask not what level of hate is the deepest, but what decency can be found in any of them?
Texas…once “We’re Back!” is nullified by the first of October their fanbase is really not an issue.
South Carolina…I never think about you. Like seriously never.
tOSU…legendary coach punches a Clemson player. That’s a hall pass.
Tennessee…a review of the archives reveals they account for the most material to mock, snark and be horrified by. So good for something.
Florida…our winner. Can honestly find nothing good, worthy nor able to suffer of the unsufferable “since 1990” jort wearing stoners. They win the #FTMF award named after our own RangerRuss, may he be berating gators forever in his afterlife.
Then finally Tech…a truly special place in hell reserved for them. Not only is there no good to be found, they define all that is awful and evil. #FTMF would be a compliment, undeservingly so. Even the devil himself hates GT.
Fantastic final four +2. To me, an OSU and Baja Oklahoma are almost in a class by themselves for sheer entitlement and obnoxiousness. But its a close race. I absolutely love all three matchups…..why?….because its practically impossible to pick, much less root for one of these dirt-bag programs to win anything!