Okay, which one of you did this?
Blind guy walks into a bar with a seeing eye dog. Picks the dog up by his tail and starts swinging him round and round over his head. Dog is barking and whining the whole time. Bartender says, “Hey man, what the hell are you doing?”. Blind guy says, “Just looking around”. Hat tip to Jay Hickman.
That’s all I got.
Tell some jokes in the comments.
Go Dawgs!
I’ll just refer you to Bowtie Comedy. Down to earth humor.
My younger brother opened for Otis Day back in the 90’s, I assume it was in Athens. No idea if Fawn Liebowitz’ roommate was there.
https://youtu.be/2JUT3PfanU0?si=JEv4thn6IquGbY-l
The Duke of Dirt! Saw him live at the Cheetah when it was still over near Piedmont Park a million years ago. The Duke did not disappoint.
The richest man in the town was faced with a terminal disease, and he summoned his doctor, his minister and his lawyer to meet with him. The man explained that he knew he was dying and had accepted that fact and also that since he did not have any heirs he had willed most of his estate to various charities and public organizations. But he wanted them to do something for him. They all said of course they would do whatever he wanted.
So then he told them that he was giving each of them an envelope containing $10,000 in cash, and he wanted them to come to his open casket funeral service and slip the envelopes in with him, so that he could ‘take a little but of it with him’. They all tried to talk him out of that idea, but he insisted and eventually they all agreed.
On the day of the funeral they each approached the casket separately and put the envelopes in. A little later they were off talking with each other and the minister says, “I need to confess that the church needed some repairs, so I took $3000 from the envelope to help with the expense.” The doctor said, “I am so glad you told me that because the neonatal unit at the hospital was in dire need of some equipment, so gave it $5000.” The lawyer is incensed. “I can’t believe that you partially betrayed this man’s trust, you should both be ashamed.”
The minister and the doctor looked at each other somewhat embarrassed, but then asked, “So you’re telling us you put the entire 10 grand in the coffin?”
The lawyer puffs his chest up and says, “I absolutely put the entire 10 grand in the coffin! In fact, I wrote the check myself!”
A doctor says to his patient, “I’ve got good news and bad news”. Patient says, “Gimme the good news”.
Do says, “You’re going to have a disease named after you”. Ba dum!